Be A Great Leader For Generation Z

While Generation Z have just begun entering the workforce, it is important to pay attention to them because they will soon be the second largest population at work.

Generation Z expect their career journey to be unique. This isn’t an ego thing; it is an experience thing. Gen Z grew up being in the middle of constant social and technology change with unlimited access to information. They have witnessed and fought against racism, sexual harassment, gun violence and income disparity while they have supported diversity, equity and inclusion (DEI) and climate change solutions. Many are well-travelled and have had local and global influences from travel and/or from their multicultural family influences. Add all of this together and it often means that Gen Z are socially liberal and financially conservative.

On the skills side, if you are looking for an employee who is tech-savvy especially when it comes to digital platforms and is used to disruption, then a Gen Z employee is likely to have these skills. Fast-paced technology advances have shaped their social experiences. They are also adaptable – a trait that can be a great asset for an employer especially when Gen Z employees can flex their creativity and innovation skills. Many Gen Z have parents who have gone to college and/or university and have grown up with a focus on higher education. As such, Gen Z are likely to go to college and/or university as well. Generation Z are often entrepreneurial and like to build / create things. Don’t be surprised if they have a side hustle or are part of the gig economy.

And yes, while embracing a multi-generational and a multi-cultural workforce takes effort, you also get to enjoy all the benefits from proactively integrating a talented, diverse population into your inclusive workplace culture. Alternatively, not paying attention will also take a lot of a different type of effort that will be less positive and it is unlikely you will experience many of the benefits.

Your New Generation Z Employee

If you just hired a Gen Z, this may be their first serious experience working and interacting in a professional work environment. It is reasonable to anticipate they will have little insight into what you expect. Everything from working in person, professional etiquette, building professional relationships professional deadlines, managing difficult conversations, emotional triggers, and receiving constructive feedback may be new frontiers.

Let’s recognize that due to Covid-19 restrictions, the last few years of a Gen Zers education and/or the first few years of their professional careers have likely been 100% remote and 100% online (isolating). This means they have experienced all the convenience of not having to travel to school or work. And when it comes to working in the office, they may also be feeling a bit restricted with less freedom and autonomy over where and when to work. Unfortunately, while they are right that they may be able to get specific tasks completed more quickly at home, they may not be aware of the many learning / growth, career and social benefits that come from being social and working in-person with their co-workers and you… their leader. These experiences will impact their communication and work styles, expectations and ability to build relationships.

And while Generation Z are used to working remote and when working in a hybrid environment they may need help / patience with their communication style, getting used to receiving constructive feedback, and seeing the benefits of working in-office/in-person. It is also unlikely you are giving them too much detailed instruction or feedback. This is certainly a place (and generation) where ‘more is better’ is appreciated.

Have I made you want to run in the other direction yet? I’ve got more because Gen Z want the whole package.

Generation Z employees like fast-paced work, learning, and experiences where they have impact. Gen Z want their employers to be their partners and respond well to leaders who are experts. They want to learn so are looking for leaders and companies that will mentor them and give them opportunities to grow and gain experience which is far more likely when working in person. Gen Z want to understand why something is done. They are used to asking questions and getting (or looking up) the answers. This may be because they grew up with unparalleled and immediate access to information that fed their curiosity.

Can all of this be done within a 100% remote culture? Yes, but it takes a lot of hard work and commitment by everyone to create and sustain a highly effective, highly communicative, highly collaborative (and trusting), remote corporate culture.

And of course, like all of us Gen Z want to be able to trust and be trusted. To earn their trust an employer must recognize how important Gen Z social and global values are. Generation Z employees want to see their values reflected in the company. They value transparency of strategy, clarity of purpose for the company and their team, and to be able to see the impact of their collective contribution. Gen Z also want to have clarity of purpose for their position including what is expected of them, why it’s expected, and to be able to point to the impact of their individual contribution. And of course, they want equality, respect, to feel safe. And as mentioned earlier they want the opportunity to grow / learn, access to decision makers, to make a difference, and honest recognition.

But as you can imagine Gen Z have many stresses. For example, their first-hand experience of continuous change, ultra-connectivity and global unrest has impacted their mental wellbeing. They have also grown up with a greater emphasis on personal wellbeing and less negative stigma associated to mental illness. This means they may be more attuned to their own mental wellbeing and health than other generations. As an often more outspoken generation, Gen Z are more likely to speak up and care for their work-life balance and their mental and physical health.

How We Can Make The Experience Great

With hybrid work being the norm in most cases, it is important for employers to have clear expectations and consistently champion them whether people are working remote or not. Accountability to these expectations as well as to their work / teams is a must. With a multigenerational and multicultural workforce that means looking at every aspect of our workspace from someone else point of view / perspective.

Whether it is day-to-day communication or workplace expectations, we cannot take anything for granted or assume the other person knows what we mean or even uses the tools/software we share in the same way. What is ‘normal’ for you with 20-years of work experience will not be ‘normal’ for someone with 2-years of work experience that began during the Covid pandemic. And as I’ve suggested earlier, it is not only different generations that have different expectations. Different cultures have different needs, values, communication styles and different problem-solving abilities. And because values, trust and managing expectations are so important, successful leaders are now including discussions about expectations during the interview process.

While offering flexible work arrangements is more important now than ever, we must make sure we don’t lose sight of a feeling of team. Bring your team together whenever possible. One common practice is to make one day a week mandatory for everyone on your team and then allow employees to choose one or two other days. On your shared days in office, have a formal team meeting / team update. Also schedule events that are best done in-person like project brainstorming and social team-lunches. The goal for leaders is to make in-office days learning experiences that help teams bond… and get their work done.

Another way to engage younger employees is to let them know you notice their contribution. Boost this by offering them (and any member of your team), an opportunity to share their experience during a project meeting or even by giving the team a short group training event. When they feel safe and respected, the opportunity to teach (help) others can be a strong draw. At the same time, this may give older, more experienced employees the opportunity to partner and build stronger relationships with their younger co-workers. All training you offer will lead to personal and professional growth for your team members and will help your team build trust and community with each other and break down intergenerational biases and stigma.

Conclusion

To summarize, Generation Z like fast-paced environments that stay relevant with technology and social values. They want their work and their team/company to make a difference and align with their personal values. Learning and new experiences are important, but they sometimes struggle with constructive feedback. Transparency is also important. Gen Z will ask “why” a task is relevant… and their leaders should expect suggestions.

When you create a work culture that respects everyone for their individuality and is clear and consistent about company vision, values, expectations and accountability from day one, then I do believe you can create a culture where everyone is celebrated for their uniqueness while also find a path to support each other.

Multigenerational workspaces that boast diverse skills, experiences and cultures lead to greater creativity and problem solving. They also lead to more impactful peer mentoring and peer learning experiences that benefit each other, likely create greater loyalty and help make your business a great place to work that is also… highly productive.

Hiring the right person is far more complicated now so managing expectations must start during the job interview. You want to get the right skills – but you also want to get the right culture fit. Doing this will help you create a highly engaged, dependable employee / partnership. Workplaces cannot be all things to all people. Workplaces must have a dependable culture – noting that dependable does not mean stagnant.

While Gen Zers may prefer to work remotely or even non-traditional work hours, it does not mean they are naturally less engaged. It also does not mean you have to bend to their every whim. Remember, Generation Z want transparency and to collaborate. They are flexible, especially when there is purpose, and they feel respected. Providing opportunities for workplace flexibility, personal and professional growth are elements that lead to a highly motivated, trusted, productive and loyal team that brings creativity and innovation to every opportunity.

Thank you for spending time with me today and reading ‘Be A Great Leader For Generation Z.’

Bruce

Learn More About Bruce Mayhew

Toronto corporate trainer and executive coach Bruce Mayhew Consulting is in the people business… it just so happens that training and/or executive coaching is involved. Let us help you improve your productivity and employee engagement.

To learn more about how leadership training can to improve your skills call us at 416.617.0462.

Bruce Mayhew Consulting's most popular programs are Email Etiquette Training, Difficult Conversations, Generational Differences, Leadership Skills Training and Time Management Training

Related Workshops That Drive Business Success

• What Is Servant Leadership?

• The What, Why and How of Vulnerable Leadership

• Email Etiquette Training

• The Role of Empathy during Difficult Conversations at Work

• Difficult Conversations: Never Easy - Always Worthwhile

Toronto based corporate trainer and executive coach Bruce Mayhew Consulting proudly offers leadership training and professional development.

Change Management: Why Transformation Efforts Fail

Some change management models have more steps – some have fewer. In all honesty, no matter if you call it restructuring, total quality management, cultural change or any other name, if the majority (70%-80%), of your senior leadership team AND your employees do not share a vision and are excited by the prospects, your change management goals will be at serious risk.

Whether you are working on how to include working from home into your hybrid workspaces or looking to bring a new Supply Chain Solution into your workspace, your process and how you approach change does matter.

Your process matters because it will be the path everyone shares. But what model should you choose? There is nothing wrong with many of the models out there like Kotter’s eight stage or McKinsey’s seven stage models. Your choice should work IF their steps are diligently completed. That said, I do like the simplicity of the ADKAR model. I also like how each of step of the ADKAR model unmistakably embraces the recognition that people and a commitment to a shared vision are at the centre of change – especially step number three. Too often I see too much focus on process and policy and far too little on approaching your employees and taking the time to discuss the benefits of change and explore options with the people change will have the greatest impact on.

The ADKAR Model:

1. Awareness of the need for change

2. Desire to participate and support the change

3. Knowledge of how to change

4. Ability to implement desired skills and behaviours

5. Reinforcement to sustain the change

So, if you are wondering why transformation efforts fail and how you can avoid them, I recommend that early on you take a deep breath and patiently include everyone in discussions as you explore all the important questions and opportunities that arise as you work through each of ADKAR’s five steps. What are the important questions and opportunities that will arise? I suggest nobody can tell you until you begin including your greatest assets – your people.

Thank you for spending time with me today and exploring our quick article about Why Transformation Efforts Fail. I hope this has helped guide you through your Change Management journey.

Bruce

Learn More About Bruce Mayhew

Toronto corporate trainer and executive coach Bruce Mayhew Consulting is in the people business… it just so happens that training and/or executive coaching is involved. Let us help you improve your productivity and employee engagement.

To learn more about how leadership training can to improve your skills call us at 416.617.0462.

Bruce Mayhew Consulting's most popular programs are Email Etiquette Training, Difficult Conversations, Generational Differences, Leadership Skills Training and Time Management Training

Related Workshops That Drive Business Success

• What Is Servant Leadership?

• The What, Why and How of Vulnerable Leadership

• Email Etiquette Training

• The Role of Empathy during Difficult Conversations at Work

• Difficult Conversations: Never Easy - Always Worthwhile

Toronto based corporate trainer and executive coach Bruce Mayhew Consulting proudly offers leadership training and professional development.

The What, Why and How of Vulnerable Leadership

Researcher, speaker, New York Times bestseller Brené Brown is an expert on vulnerable leadership and the importance for us all to have courage, put ourselves out there and show more emotion. She – and others I’ll mention throughout this article write and speak about how vulnerability and building a culture of creativity, trust, and collaboration is important for organizations, leaders and of course employees to be successful and engaged.

Let’s start this discussion by exploring what vulnerability is. Vulnerability may look different for each of us. It depends on our personalities, our upbringing, our experiences and so much more. For some, vulnerability can mean fearing not always having the answers. It can mean searching for the courage to ask others for help. We can also feel vulnerable when we [should] say, “I was wrong” or “I made a mistake.” And I bet all of us have felt vulnerable when we’ve entered a room and discovered we don’t know anyone and/or don’t see anyone who looks like us.

So yes, there are many ways to feel vulnerable. At this point, as a leader you may be thinking, “If you want to see vulnerable – ask me to add this to my plate. How can I possibly find time in my already far too long To Do list to add one more thing – especially the idea of vulnerability?” And yet you still want to be the best leader you can be for yourself and your team. This is what makes you a terrific leader, even if you don’t [yet] have a formal position as a leader. So, what I suggest is that as you take a few minutes to read this article, ask yourself, “Is there one small step I can take?” And as you do this I invite you to think of vulnerability from a position leadership strength, not a weakness; an example of positivity and opportunity.

Now that we have a shared the idea to see vulnerability as a strength, let me outline two more important areas we will explore in the next few minutes:

1. The positive attributes of vulnerability.

2. How to build a culture that is safe and where everyone can be vulnerable.

The power of vulnerability in leadership. How great leaders see vulnerability as a strength, not a weakness.

You and I both know that leaders don’t have all the answers.

Success in today’s high tech, fast paced economy requires creativity and innovation at all levels of the organization. It also requires alignment across the team on our shared vision, mission and values (which I recommend be fine-tuned every year). For creativity and innovation to exist, every team and every company must work together towards creating a culture where people feel welcome to be themselves and show their emotions to their team, coworkers, clients, and suppliers. This doesn’t happen by accident.

When we believe we can be authentic at work, we are able to help build inspired solutions that will make us all proud and successful. The best leaders aren’t afraid to be vulnerable. Leaders who see vulnerability as a strength are able to build teams who are willing to dare greatly as Brené Brown might say. By embracing vulnerability, leaders create an environment that nurtures trust, opens channels of communication and listens to new ideas – from everyone. This is where a leader’s real strength can flourish as they help others collaborate and share their expertise.

In contrast, when leaders try to be all knowing and all-powerful they are not protecting themselves. Instead, they are putting their longer-term success at risk as well as the future success of their team.

How to build a culture that is safe and where everyone can be vulnerable?

From Brené Brown to perhaps the leading expert on Emotional Intelligence Dr. Daniel Goleman, to motivational speaker and author Simon Sinek to Canadian author focused on transformational leadership, social collaboration, and communication Celine Schillinger, they all agree great leaders create an environment of respect, safety, and curiosity that teams trust.

The power of vulnerability in leadership cannot be overstated. And while this all sounds amazing, you and I have years of pre-programing within our communities / cultures that has told us that vulnerability means weakness. It will take effort for you to unlearn some of our less helpful biases and past lessons and decide to forge a new path that sees vulnerability and showing emotion as strengths and opportunities. It’s time to embrace new ideas and new voices that will create relevant, timely and collaborative solutions that also help us feel engaged and proud.

To build a culture where everyone can be vulnerable, everyone on the team must be certain they are allowed to be creative and to start sentences with the words, “What if we were to…” as they begin to share inspired, improvised, half-baked ideas. Here are a few examples how you can start building a culture of trust.

1. Get to know each other.  You don’t have to become best friends, but start seeing people as more than a j.o.b. Explore what you have in common. Do you have pets, a summer cottage, traveled through Greece? Knowing someone is a good way [not a guaranteed way] to begin trusting someone.

2. Set an example when you are not doing well… when you are struggling. For example, if you are exhausted, frustrated or stressed, it’s fair to send someone else to a meeting on your behalf because you need some down-time. Delegating has the bonus of letting that person know you trust their ability to stand-in for you. Another example is asking for help if you are struggling with a task. In this example you are proving that asking for help is not only OK, but expected. And the bonus here is that it may give a junior employee a feeling of pride to be able to mentor you.

3. If you see someone else feeling vulnerable or attacked, help them! They may not feel they can stand up for themselves so do it for them. This demonstrates you are paying attention and that you care. And the people who see you do this will know it is OK to stand up for someone else as well.

4. Always stand up for the organizational values. As I shared earlier, your organizational values must be respected by all. And everyone in leadership positions must set the example. If leaders ignore shared values, they are telling others it’s OK for them to ignore them as well and that this jeopardizes team alignment, efficiencies and so much more – including perhaps the importance of building / honoring respect and trust.

“Leadership is not about being in charge. It's about taking care of those in your charge.” Simon Sinek

And while leaders must set the intention, it is all of our responsibility to build a trusting, vulnerable, safe workspace. The following are guideline examples for you to consider and expand upon:

1. Cultivate openness where everyone knows that when they share ideas, observations and opinions that they will be heard and valued.

2. Know that it’s unacceptable to not listen to others (and to learn).

3. Never joke, tease or gossip about someone elses expense. Everyone must know there is no risk of being made to feel stupid or embarrassed.

4. Acknowledge that leaders likely have insight into broader goals and have greater decision-making responsibility and therefore may make decisions we don’t fully understand or agree to… but must support.

5. Know our worth is not placed on whether our ideas are accepted.

6. Know that we all make mistakes, and we will use them as an opportunity to learn, not an opportunity to judge, accuse or demonize us.

7. Know that while we share our ideas, we must also know they may not be fully adopted but may spark other ideas.

8. Agree that if we have an idea or suggestion that is out of scope of the immediate topic under discussion that it might be best to arrange a smaller one-on-one meeting with our leader or one of our co-workers and start a discussion there. Staying on-topic during a meeting is also important.

All this to say, you can achieve honest, respectful relationships with your whole team when you agree to how you will treat each other. When team members can be vulnerable with each other, creativity and innovation are enhanced,.

Share Without Oversharing

Privacy and boundaries still exists in a vulnerable culture.

Questions many leaders ask themselves when practicing vulnerability is, “How do I embrace vulnerability without overdoing it and oversharing to the point of making someone uncomfortable — regardless of any positive intentions?”

A team that fully embraces vulnerability must also have an open discussion and shared agreement / recognition that we are all individuals with our own sensitivities and personalities. We must respect that someone may feel uncomfortable or vulnerable even though we don’t. It’s also true that some things are private – not everything about us needs be shared at work. The vulnerability we share at work doesn’t have to be the same vulnerability we share with our family or partner.

My suggestion is that if you are concerned you are oversharing or if you are worried your idea may trigger a sensitivity for someone on your team, this may be the perfect time to share the idea in a closed, one-on-one meeting with your superior. And if you are a leader who has already navigated this, I thank you for having your empathy and edit features turned on. Well done!

One last thing before I close. If you are wondering, “What if Bruce hasn’t done the task he said he would or is not being a team player. Shouldn’t I bring that forward?” To this, I say absolutely – but is that about creativity and a new idea or is that about Bruce putting the team and project in jeopardy? To me it sounds like the latter which suggests it is a conversation you should bring up with your leader or one of your co-workers in a private meeting – Bruce should not be made to feel vulnerable in that situation. Remember, for vulnerability to become a positive in your team it must be supported by trust and respect.

Conclusion

It is time for vulnerability to be part of our workplace culture; to show our emotions to our team and coworkers, our clients and suppliers. In recent years vulnerability for leaders and their teammates of all genders and generations has grown to become culturally acceptable, welcomed and even encouraged. Millennials and Gen Z especially are more comfortable asking for time to manage caregiver and mental health concerns. And lets face it, Millennials and Gen Z are now the dominant populations in our workforce.

If you’ve studied ‘Courageous Leadership’ and have been thinking of it as you read this article, that makes sense to me. Like courageous leadership, being a leader who begins developing a culture of vulnerability often starts with one or two small acts of courage. You can be certain that the best leaders aren’t afraid to be vulnerable. As you evolve down this path, and I imagine from time to time feel outside your comfort zone, I do hope you take pride in the steps you take, how you’ve evolved – grown during the process and how you now know you’ve have supported courageous leadership in your own way.

“Daring leaders work to make sure people can be themselves and feel a sense of belonging.” Brené Brown

When courageous leaders begin to demonstrate vulnerability and trust in their team, something truly special happens. I invite you to build a culture of collaboration, creativity and high employee engagement. 

Leadership is a journey, not a destination.

Thank you for spending time with me today and reading ‘The What, Why and How of Vulnerable Leadership’.

Bruce

Learn More About Bruce Mayhew

Toronto corporate trainer and executive coach Bruce Mayhew Consulting is in the people business… it just so happens that training and/or executive coaching is involved. Let us help you improve your productivity and employee engagement.

To learn more about how leadership training can to improve your skills call us at 416.617.0462.

Bruce Mayhew Consulting's most popular programs are Email Etiquette Training, Difficult Conversations, Generational Differences, Leadership Skills Training and Time Management Training

Related Workshops That Drive Business Success

• What Is Servant Leadership?

• Email Etiquette Training

• The Role of Empathy during Difficult Conversations at Work

• Difficult Conversations: Never Easy - Always Worthwhile

Toronto based corporate trainer and executive coach Bruce Mayhew Consulting proudly offers leadership training and professional development.

Disagree With Respect At Work: Part II

When you and I approach a problem and disagree with respect, it’s an opportunity for us to work as a productive team, to be creative, and build stronger relations as we build trust, loyalty, and pride in our outcomes.

In my previous article called Disagree With Respect At Work: Part I, I discuss three critical building blocks of a culture (at work or at home), where we can safely and respectfully explore different points of view. ‘Rules of Engagement’ is one of the three building blocks I discuss in Part I. With those Rules of Engagement we are able to be part of a culture – a workspace or family – where everyone can trust they will be safe and supported and therefore able to be their whole, honest, true self with all of their passion, creativity and flaws. 

As I wrote in Part I, especially when stakes are high, there is more to having successful, respectful difficult conversations than only those three critical building blocks. So, here is Part II where I share three more that we can all use to help us have successful difficult conversations and be able to disagree with respect at work, with family and even with strangers. These three additional approaches are:

1. Be Intentional About Time and Place

2. Have Conversations In-person, By Phone or By Video

3. Share Stories Instead of Assigning Blame

Lets dive right in.

Be Intentional About Time and Place

Even when we are in a trusting culture there will always be a level of anxiousness when we disagree. Simply by its nature, disagreement makes most of us feel vulnerable. But it’s important we do our best to create a time and place where everyone feels safe, respected and not rushed. Let me share three less than ideal examples:

• It’s not a good time or place to disagree with your boss while they are giving a project update to their boss. Doing this will immediately damage your reputation and destroy trust. This would also signal you are not a team player – and likely a half-dozen other unfavourable characteristics. This may also damage your bosses reputation as a leader.

• It’s not a good time to raise a disagreement with your co-worker when they are working hard to meet a different important end-of-day deadline and they also have to pick up their 6-year-old from daycare before it closes. In this example you are adding a stressful moment when they have to push back on your request and begin negotiating a better time.

• It’s not a good time or place to disagree with your partner in front of your child and their new boyfriend about how late they can stay out.

I bet that even as you read these examples, you felt – actually felt – these were not good times or places. These situations risk unwelcome feelings like surprise, humiliation, frustration, embarrassment, and more. I think we can all imagine many different other times or places for each of these examples where we could have disagreed with respect.

Have Conversations In-person, By Phone Or By Video

It’s near impossible for you and I to feel empathy and caring from an email or text message. In fact, we are more likely to feel the opposite. So, while sending an email or text message may feel ‘safe’ for you, please avoid disagreeing in writing. To disagree with respect I strongly encourage you to try to have these conversations in person… and if not in-person, try to hear each other’s voice. A happy middle-ground is a video conversation where everyone is on-camera (no blank screens). 

This isn’t conjecture. Studies back-up this best-practice. Professor Julia Schroeder at UC Berkley and her colleagues say, “Listening to someone’s voice is humanizing as they make a contradictory or controversial argument. It makes it easier to engage with what that person has to say.” When a person feels empathy or genuine curiosity, it goes a long way to feeling respected.

So, when you disagree, know that a 5-minute face to face conversation can have far greater impact than the email you spend 20, 30 or perhaps even 60-minutes writing. If it is important to have a physical record, go ahead and write a brief email after you have had the in-person, phone or video call.

Share Stories Instead Of Assigning Blame

Facts are important. Stories make a situation real.

We know sharing disagreement in person, by phone or by video call engages our empathy. Sharing stories takes our ability to disagree with respect to a whole other level. Stories also builds connection between people and events which supports greater trust and understanding. Stories also make the situation far more memorable.

To disagree with respect at work, your stories should get to the point quickly. Don’t let your stories drag on. In my Difficult Conversation Training Workshops I encourage participants to consider starting their story by answering ‘Why’ the conversation is important at the beginning before they share ‘What happened’.  Talking about ‘Why’ first does two things. First, it helps the other person (or people) feel safe and want to listen; to not put their defences up. Second, stories help them care and be curious. For example, consider the difference in being on the receiving end of the following two options with the second starting with ‘Why a conversation is important’ and the first and second examples being more inclined to immediately put Tom on the defensive:

1. Bad Example: “Tom, you talk over me in meetings and when you do, this makes me feel undervalued. I want you to stop.”

2. Bad, But Better Example: “Tom, you talk over me in meetings and when you do, this makes me feel undervalued. I want to discuss this with you because I want us to have creative conversations and a respectful work relationship.”

3. Ideal Example: “Tom, I have something important I’d like to share with you because I want us to have creative conversations and a respectful work relationship. When you talk over me in meetings it makes me feel undervalued. I’d like to work with you to find ways we could work together better.”

In the first example, the main goal isn’t to have Tom stop talking over them; it actually feels like the main goal is to assign blame. The second example is better, but still has the chance to immediately trigger Tom into being defensive. The third example has the greatest chance help Tom to stay engaged and curious and trust us (note I said help). If we can help Tom keep his defences down, he’ll be more likely to want to participate in this conversation. Only then can we have a productive, non-threatening conversation.

One last thing about trust. Whether someone trusts us depends on largely on our history with them and others. Are we known to be a good listener who is respectful, patient and curious… or do we have a reputation as a blunt… ‘If you don’t like it, too bad’ type of person?

What If You Are Surprised And Not Expecting It? (BONUS POINT)

The examples I’ve given are all about you and I starting the difficult conversation. But what if you are surprised? Can you still disagree with respect? You may be asking:

• “How do I act when someone comes to me – unexpectedly – to talk about a challenge or disagreement they have?”

• “What do I do when I’m working to a deadline and can’t be interrupted”

• “How can I turn things around when I receive an email that is clearly involves a difference of opinion, disagreement and I feel is both rude and abrupt?

Great questions! I believe everyone deserves the same kindness and respect no matter who you are or what you do. My quick answers to these three questions are:

• If you are feeling surprised and a bit off-balance by a difficult conversation or disagreement then it’s fair to ask for some time to prepare or at least a few moments to gather your thoughts. Even court trials have 15-minute recesses from time to time.

• Unless timing is urgent, if someone approaches you and wants to discuss something, it’s fair to ask to have the conversation at a different time. But, any delay should be short… and reasonable.

• If you feel an email you received is touching on disagreement, I believe it is 100% your best move to try to set up an in-person, video or phone conversation.

Conclusion

You may be thinking that this is all interesting and helpful learning… but what if the other person hasn’t read this article?  Sure, that is a hitch. But I believe this is also an opportunity for you to be a leader and a mentor.

Merriam-Webster defines a mentor as, “1: a trusted counselor or guide. 2: tutor, coach.” With that definition in mind, I bet each of us could think of a dozen people we engage with every day who we subtly or specifically mentor already. Every time we help someone find a solution or share our knowledge / experience we are potentially helping someone grow / learn.

One Last Suggestion

If someone gets upset during a difficult conversation, it’s best you give them some time. They may only need a few minutes, but they may need it to process new information and come to terms with their feelings. If they don’t have time to deal with their feelings, they may not be able to be open to what you are sharing. When they’ve processed their feelings, they will likely have questions and may even need to share their experience.

Disagree with the idea, not the person. Never make a disagreement personal or dismiss the other persons feelings, ideas or beliefs.

Thank you for spending time with me today and reading ‘How To Disagree With Respect At Work: Part II’. I hope you also enjoyed Part I.

Bruce

Learn More About Bruce Mayhew

Toronto corporate trainer and executive coach Bruce Mayhew Consulting is in the people business… it just so happens that training and/or executive coaching is involved. Let us help you improve your productivity and employee engagement.

To learn more about how leadership training can to improve your skills call us at 416.617.0462.

Bruce Mayhew Consulting's most popular programs are Email Etiquette Training, Difficult Conversations, Generational Differences, Leadership Skills Training and Time Management Training

Related Workshops That Drive Business Success

• What Is Servant Leadership?

• Email Etiquette Training

• The Role of Empathy during Difficult Conversations at Work

• Difficult Conversations: Never Easy - Always Worthwhile

Toronto based corporate trainer and executive coach Bruce Mayhew Consulting proudly offers leadership training and professional development.

Disagree With Respect At Work: Part I

To disagree with respect at work is a sign we are part of a healthy business culture.

There's a big difference between disagreeing with respect versus having a heated, uncomfortable encounter. Disagreeing with respect means we can even deal with challenging situations without harming or threatening each other. Feeling safe, both physically and emotionally, means we can still be productive and move forward with confidence – together.

Wonderful things happen when we two or more people know they can disagree with respect. When we’re able to disagree with respect at work, it means our workspace also values creativity, growth, new ideas and is an evolving workspace.

We all deserve to share space where respectful disagreement is natural.

When we feel physically and emotionally safe we are able to apply our unbridled individuality to every challenge, opportunity, and goal for our shared benefit. It means we can explore possibilities while still respecting each other’s uniqueness. Alternatively, a disagreement that becomes disrespectful causes hurt feelings, lower productivity, lower creativity and morale, and burns through trust like a wildfire.

1. Approach Opportunities With Curiosity

When we approach a problem or disagreement in a positive way it becomes an opportunity to be creative, work as a team and build stronger relations as we also build trust, loyalty, and pride in our work.

One way to infuse positivity into our difficult conversations and workplace culture is to embrace Appreciative Inquiry. For example, when solving a problem using Appreciative Inquiry, we all look at what went well and what we want more of. While we don’t ignore serious flaws, overall we do however take the point of view of a glass half full. Instead of spending meetings dwelling on what went wrong and assigning blame, we spend the bulk of our time focused on how we can get more of what works, what we are good at and what our clients want. This also has the benefit of creating an uplifting, learning space focused on teamwork.

The old saying two heads is better than one is still relevant today; not because it is folklore but because it is true. Each of us is unique and there are things you know that I don’t. Two heads allow us to rely on and learn from each other, especially in a culture that embraces Appreciative Inquiry and respects curiosity.

2. Rules Of Engagement

For us to disagree with respect, we must intentionally and relentlessly commit to building a healthy foundation of trust where we care for our shared physical and emotional safety. Physical safety is self-explanatory. But when it comes to emotional safety, I think it’s important to quickly discuss how emotional safety can include many things like knowing that our individuality will be celebrated and never mocked or dismissed. Emotional safety also includes our creative ideas, our education, our experiences, our values, and anything else about us.

The following are rules of engagement that often support a healthy personal and professional culture:

1. Find and clearly state – in writing – a goal everyone agrees on. Only then should we discuss different options on how to reach that goal.

2. Values must be clearly defined, discussed, and agree upon… with everyone.

3. When you win it doesn’t mean I lose. The idea is to get on the same page on how we move forward.

4. We treat each other with respect. This means each of us realize others may have different boundaries and needs than we do.

5. We must all be open and encouraged to actively participate in difficult conversations.

6. We must learn about and strive to overcome biases like sexism, ageism and/or any other ‘ism’ both as individuals and as teams.

7. Everyone must listen to each other with the intention to hear what they feel, need and are fearful of.

8. We don’t speak over each other.

9. While we might speak passionately, we don’t holler or use upsetting language.

10. If I want to be open to the possibility of changing your mind, I also must be open to the possibility that you might change my mind.

11. If I change my mind it doesn’t need to mean I was wrong, it may just means I understand things differently now.

3. Changing Our Mind Is Often One of The Biggest Barriers

As we learn to disagree with respect, many of us discover that in our past whenever we entered difficult conversations we had a goal to change what other people understand, feel or believe, “If we could only make them see things our way we would have harmony.” That is an important realization, so I invite you to take time with that thought.

As we learn to disagree with respect, it’s important to recognize that if we expect others to change what they understand, feel or believe, we should also be open to changing what we understand, feel or believe. The truth is that respectful disagreement and important solutions almost always mean one or both of us has an opportunity to learn something… if we are paying attention.

For most people changing our mind is personal – scary. Many of us subconsciously worry that if we change our mind that it must mean we were wrong and our identity or reputation is compromised. You may know someone who has built their reputation as being the expert, the person who knows the most and/or who has the most experience. They can feel uncomfortable and uneasy with change and disagreement because they have worked hard to build their reputation as an expert and change threatens that reputation. In these cases, building their trust is an important step. Warning: it usually will take some time to build their trust and it may not always work.

If someone is assertive and/or lashes out, we need to pause and ask ourselves “Why are they acting this way?” and “Do they recognize they are lashing out?” They may not see their behaviour as inappropriate; many don’t. A first step for us would be to use our calm approach to help them see other ways to behave – that they don’t need to be assertive with us. This means that initially, we are not even dealing with the issue. Instead, our first goal is earning their trust.

One last thing on this point. Saying something like, “You are wrong” or “I have a better idea” will almost never go over well when trying to disagree with respect. Instead, a more inclusive approach may be, “I have a new idea and I’m hoping I can get your input and expertise. If you don’t mind, I’d like to walk you through from start to finish before I get your thoughts.  Are you able to explore this new approach with me and is now a good time?”

Conclusion

Whatever we experience at work will also influence our behaviour, our relationships, and our enjoyment at home. This makes it even more important we recognize our responsibility to be part of a healthy business culture that embraces disagreeing with respect.

I believe that two things will happen when each of us learns to be respectful, open to listening and focused on shared goals:

• First, our cool, curious behaviour will calm the ‘feelings’ and ‘tensions’ in the room and encourage others to listen.

• Second, others will notice our steadiness and they will respect us for making the whole situation better… not making matters worse. We will be setting an example for others that disagreeing with respect is possible… and it feels good.

One Last Suggestion

If someone is disagreeing with you, don’t take it personal… because often, it isn’t personal. Often if someone is disagreeing with you it is simply because your goals are different and/or you have access to different information. Instead of taking it personally, listen to their ideas with curiosity. Look at the situation from the other persons perspective. What are their goals, needs and fears? Look for where there is alignment with your goals, needs and fears.

Remember, every coin has two sides. Same coin, but still, each side is different.

Thank you for spending time with me today and reading ‘How To Disagree With Respect At Work: Part I’. I hope you will enjoy Part II. I will post the link here when I launch it.

Bruce

Learn More About Bruce Mayhew

Toronto corporate trainer and executive coach Bruce Mayhew Consulting is in the people business… it just so happens that training and/or executive coaching is involved. Let us help you improve your productivity and employee engagement.

To learn more about how leadership training can to improve your skills call us at 416.617.0462.

Bruce Mayhew Consulting's most popular programs are Email Etiquette Training, Difficult Conversations, Generational Differences, Leadership Skills Training and Time Management Training

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Toronto based corporate trainer and executive coach Bruce Mayhew Consulting proudly offers leadership training and professional development.

What Is Best Alternative To A Negotiated Agreement or BATNA

When you are negotiating ANYTHING and your best option looks like it won’t happen, a BATNA will be your best alternative, or as it is formally defined, the acronym BATNA stands for, ‘your best alternative to a negotiated agreement’.

By preparing one and preferably more BATNAs (options), in advance of a negotiation, you empower yourself. Whether you are asking for a pay increase, buying a competitor company, or deciding with your partner where to go on vacation, when you prepare your BATNAs you give yourself choices you can feel good about because you’ve researched the pros and cons in advance. You can make good, informed decisions quickly, without regret because you’ve thought through alternatives.

As Kenny Rogers sang in the song ‘The Gambler’ “You got to know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em, know when to walk away and know when to run.” Little did Kenny know that when he first started singing “every hand’s a winner and every hand’s a loser”, that in 1981 Roger Fisher and William Ury would coin the term BATNA in their bestselling book, ‘Getting to Yes: Negotiating Without Giving In’. Fisher and Ury would define and idea that embodied preparing yourself to make good, informed decisions quickly. And I wonder if Kenny Rogers somehow inspired Roger Fisher and William Ury.

But thinking through your alternatives is only half of the process to determine your best choice. Imagine how empowering it would be to explore, as best you can, what the alternatives of the other person or business. For example, imagine you want to purchase a house and you’ve seen two that interest you. They both have similar pros, cons and pricing, but house A has just come on the market, and house B has been on the market for 45 days. The other difference is that house A is a 15-minute drive closer to your work than house B. While house A might be your preference, house B might be a good BATNA for you. And while a con is that house B means a longer drive to work, the owners of house B might be more motivated to negotiate price. How high house B sits on your priority list might include how price sensitive you are and how much of a demotivator it is to be 15-minutes further away from work.

Pros of BATNA

At a glance, the BATNA pros include:

• Provides an alternative if the primary negotiations fail.

• Empowers you or other negotiators to make the best decisions.

• You will know you don’t need to compromise as much when you know you have a good alternative.

• Your BATNA can keep you from getting caught up in the moment and accepting an offer that has fewer advantages.

• Reduces the impact of bias and emotion.

• Makes agreement more likely, as a well researched and fair BATNA is more likely to be acceptable by all.

• Reduces stress around negotiations, crucial conversations and potential difficult conversations.

How To Determine Your BATNA

Since BATNA is the identification of alternative solutions in advance of a negotiation, it’s important to know how to determine your BATNA or BATNAs.

While a BATNA may not always be easy to identify, the following are several steps you can take:

1. List as many alternatives you can think of if your negotiations for your ideal option don’t work out.

2. Evaluate the pros and cons of your alternatives based on your values, goals and resources. Other criteria can be anything that is important to you / the project or your organization and can also include (but not limited to):

   • Affordability

   • Long and short-term market impact

   • Long and short-term job impact

   • Long and short-term earnings / profit

   • Which is most affordable and feasible?

   • Which will have the most impact in the shortest amount of time?

3. Prioritize your options as best you can based on their strengths and weaknesses. Be very clear about what your lowest-valued / bottom-line BATNA is. Remember, sometimes it is best to walk away.

And as I mentioned earlier, when you’re done identifying, evaluating and prioritizing your BATNA, be sure to explore the alternatives, pros and cons of your counterpart's BATNAs.

Conclusion:

To reach the best possible outcome, it’s important to do as much preparation as possible before entering into negotiations. While BATNA dramatically improves your chances of a satisfactory outcome, it is not a guarantee. Even your BATNAs might become unattainable, but it is far less likely if you are prepared in advance.

If I was able to ask my dad what a BATNA is, I imagine he would simply say, “Know what your alternatives are and when the cost [any cost] is too high. And then, as best you can, know the same for the other person.” Dad always kept things simple.

Thank you for reading ‘What Is Best Alternative To A Negotiated Agreement’. If you have any thoughts or questions, please let me know.

Bruce

Learn More About Bruce Mayhew

Toronto corporate trainer and executive coach Bruce Mayhew Consulting is in the people business… it just so happens that training and/or executive coaching is involved. Let us help you improve your productivity and employee engagement.

To learn more about how leadership training can to improve your skills call us at 416.617.0462.

Bruce Mayhew Consulting's most popular programs are Email Etiquette Training, Difficult Conversations, Generational Differences, Leadership Skills Training and Time Management Training

Related Workshops That Drive Business Success

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• Email Etiquette Training

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Toronto based corporate trainer and executive coach Bruce Mayhew Consulting proudly offers leadership training and professional development.

How To Develop A Strategic Plan

Knowing how to develop a strategic plan that meets the needs of the organization, its’ employees and the community it serves is a wonderfully rewarding task; and it’s also no small job. Developing a strategic plan may feel as daunting as playing a game of chess against a master. Truth is, it will likely take months and you might benefit from the clarity of external help / coaching, but I assure you, you can do it and it is worth it.

So how do you go about being successful when faced with this mammoth task? My quick advice is, “Be patient, take it one step at a time – don’t skip any steps, and include as many other people as possible at every step”.

Step 1. Get Others Involved and Excited

Everyone who will be impacted by the strategic plan must care about the goals that are developed. One of the best ways to build compelling goals and buy-in at the same time is to involve as many voices / perspectives as possible.

Your first step in getting others involved and excited is to create a diverse task force.

At your first task force meeting, take a victory lap of past successes. This should help build unity, excitement, and positive energy. If there have been some challenges, acknowledge those as well… but don’t dwell on them. It’s healthy to acknowledge and take responsibility for challenges but move on once you’ve learned from them. When you talk about both your successes and challenges, frame the discussions so that you explore what went well and what you want more of, (called Appreciative Inquiry). Even challenges must have had some aspect that went well, like perhaps how the team rallied together.

Step 2. Ask Questions

I recommend reaching beyond your task force using a combination of surveys and in-person meetings to ask anyone you can for input – from your clients to your suppliers and of course your employees. Treat this as a fact-finding project. This is a time to do more listening than talking or planning. Use simple, open-ended questions like:

1. What makes us best in class today – what do we do well?

2. What made us best in class yesterday – is there any option to capitalize on that reputation / experience?

3. What are some out-of-the-box options for where we could be in the future?

4. What do our clients / customers dream of?

5. What is most exciting in our industry today?

6. (For Employees Specifically) As an employee, if you could learn or do any one thing, what would it be?

Step 3. Answer ‘Why’ Your Department / Organization Does What It Does

As you hear the answers to the questions you asked it will be tempting to start working on some of the wonderful ideas you and perhaps others have. Your excitement is terrific – but I encourage you to not go too far down that path and don’t get too invested into those ideas too quickly.

In addition to the answers and ideas your questions have raised, some of the most important inspiration for any strategic plan should also come from your mission statement and vision statement. For example, imagine your vision and mission statements were as follows:

• Vision: To become the world's most trusted, innovative, and profitable provider of data security solutions for the protection of highly critical sectors.

• Mission: To be considered a partner by our clients and to assist them to be productive, successful, and trusted by their clients.

From these two examples you can already imagine how your vision statement and mission statement will inform the important ‘What we do’ and ‘How we do it’ chapters of your strategic plan. The words ‘trusted’ ‘innovative’ ‘partner’ are just as important as ‘profitable’.  These words will give your task force a clear direction as they answer the question “Why what we do is important”. I’d suggest actually defining a ‘Why what we do is important’ statement. Empower your process by letting ‘Why’ become the foundation on which your brand and your corporate culture are built. This work will do wonders to position your strategic plan.

Simon Sinek is famous for championing the ‘Why’. And you know what? He’s right! Be sure your team knows the decisions they will make will be informed by and measured against how they relate to ‘Why’.

Step 4. Define The Goals Using The Vision, Mission and ‘Why’ Answer

As we’ve discussed, your vision and mission statements offer a guide – an opportunity by which strategic decisions can be evaluated and defended. So, empower and encourage the people in your task force to use them to define the opportunities / goals. It’s very likely that by now they have created a robust list of possible opportunities / goals to consider. That’s great! Now is the time to apply the ‘Why’ statement to the possibilities. The ‘Why’ statement should be a powerful tool that adds clarity to what to prioritize and what must change and evolve. The ‘Why’ statement will also defend and prioritize any larger change that might have to take place down the road.

A word about change and evolution. It's worth saying, some resistance to change is natural. You may even experience it yourself. But change and evolution are important to your business AND everyone connected to the business. For example, change keeps our work interesting and maintains our own personal and professional growth (evolution) and competitiveness. The way I see it, change is enviable so you might as well try to guide it (as best you can) because if you don’t try to take an active part in guiding it, you will be 100% guided by it.

The ‘Why’ that comes from exploring your vision statement and mission statement will also guide what you spend your budget on – and help you defend your requests if you are asking for an increased budget. These statements will also form the categories you and the finance team will measure including the ROI. And, if your strategic plan calls for a short-term drop in ROI, the guidance these statements offer should be able to explain how the investment is expected to catapult the company ahead of the competition.

Step 5. Delegate And Measure

Strategic plans are terrific… but once they are done, now what? Every strategic plan needs a strategic implementation protocol to turn the plan into reality. You’ve done a great job so far by including everyone in the process, and while it may feel like your job is almost done I urge you to not take your foot off the gas (as my dad would say). Many great projects and great ideas don’t reach their potential because of a lack of attention and commitment after the strategic plan is written. Instead, people get busy doing their “busy work” the same way they always have and none (or few) of the great strategic ideas get implemented. I urge you not to fall into this trap.

A challenge many leaders have (especially new leaders) is delegation. It is important leaders do less of the ‘doing’ and instead keep everyone’s focus on achieving the strategic plan by consistently guiding, inspiring, and supporting employees and employee teams. Consistency is an important word here! Another major leadership task is to build trust with your employees / teams so they come to you quickly with challenges so you can help guide solutions and when necessary use your seniority and experience to manage roadblocks. 

Step 6. Keep Everyone Informed

From day 1, keep everyone informed what is going on throughout the strategic planning process. Even people who are not part of the task force should have a high-level understanding of the importance of each step. Transparency builds trust and lack of information builds fear!

As the strategic plan is implemented, let everyone know what they should be expecting… and why. ‘Why’ is as important throughout the implementation as it was during the planning process. ‘Why’ will continue to build alignment and commitment, not to mention personal and professional pride. Keeping everyone informed will also help minimize fear and can even inspire a willing commitment to change. For example, imagine being an employee who is faced with having to learn a new process and/or a new piece of software. Instead of experiencing fear of the unknown and worry of not looking competent, what if the message was positioned to remind everyone that the change they are experiencing will make the company they’ve chosen to work for an industry leader, AND the change will also put them at the forefront of their profession as an expert in this emerging market. WOW!

Step 7. Monitor, Keep Measuring and Course Correct

Organizations must constantly monitor, measure, and course correct their goals and strategic plan. Measurement may fall on the task force but should be an important senior level responsibility. Measurement should include that that the strategic plan is being implemented and that the defined elements of the strategic plan are staying true to the overall mission, vision, and values. Also, as I eluded to earlier, expect the finance department to play a serious role in monitoring and measuring that plans are staying on budget.  

Something unexpected is going to happen so don’t be surprised – it is part of the process. Perhaps there will be new technology you can use, or perhaps there will be a new competitor or perhaps there will be a pandemic (COVID must have taught is something). Or, it might be that the changes aren’t working the way your task force expected. As quickly as you can, get employee, client / customer and supplier feedback. You must be prepared to take their advice and adjust your game plan. Sometimes that means mid-course corrections. Other times, it means scrapping a planned project / goal and starting from scratch. That’s not defeat — it’s the ultimate sign that you value the buy-in and ideas your community have.

Conclusion

Partnering with others is important to developing a compelling strategic plan. It is also key to growing commitment and trust in the future. Partnering with others also does one other thing I love to see by leaders; it means delegation workload and sharing responsibility. The best leaders delegate responsibly.

Thank you for reading ‘How To Develop A Strategic Plan’. If you have any thoughts or questions, please let me know.

Bruce

Learn More About Bruce Mayhew

Toronto corporate trainer and executive coach Bruce Mayhew Consulting is in the people business… it just so happens that training and/or executive coaching is involved. Let us help you improve your productivity and employee engagement.

To learn more about how leadership training can to improve your skills call us at 416.617.0462.

Bruce Mayhew Consulting's most popular programs are Email Etiquette Training, Difficult Conversations, Generational Differences, Leadership Skills Training and Time Management Training

Related Workshops That Drive Business Success

• What Is Servant Leadership?

• Email Etiquette Training

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• Difficult Conversations: Never Easy - Always Worthwhile

Toronto based corporate trainer and executive coach Bruce Mayhew Consulting proudly offers leadership training and professional development.

Work-Life Balance Requires Respect, Trust And Choice By Everyone

Organizations are continuing to struggle finding ways to address the reality that for a company to succeed, employees need to feel like their leaders care about them. This is a struggle because businesses can’t survive if all they do is care for your employees. Instead, the business – employee relationship must be a delicate balance of respect, trust, clear expectations, flexibility, collaboration and choice. 

The question is, "What is the balance between employee needs and business needs?"

Take work-life balance and flexible hours in an office environment as an example. Some employees may work the early part of the day from 7AM to 3PM as their regular hours. Other employees may be on a later schedule from 11AM to 7PM. That is terrific, but what happens when you have to schedule a project meeting and the only time everyone is available is 9:30AM except for the one person whose regular, agreed upon start time is 11AM?

I believe the answer exists within the above mentioned balance of respect, trust, clear expectations, flexibility, collaboration and choice. 

In this example:

• Respect and trust mean that everyone can be confident that there was a serious attempt to find a time during everyone’s typical work hours. They also mean that everyone will respect and trust each other and previous agreements.

• Clear expectations means that everyone knows that if someone can’t make a meeting – no matter what the reason – the person who can’t attend will understand and respect that the meeting must still take place.

• Flexibly, collaboration and choice mean the person who has the conflict has the opportunity – and the responsibility to make one of the following three choices:

1. Choose to make a special adjustment and attend the meeting.

2. Choose to assign an alternate person to represent and speak for them.

3. Choose to be OK receiving the meeting minutes and support any decisions made.

For organizations to succeed they (and by extension the leaders AND every employee), must make each employee feel like their success as employees AND as individuals matters. Employees at every level must feel valued and be proud they are part of the team. This is what it means to build a strong corporate culture where difficult decisions and difficult conversations can actually be prevented.

When people feel valued and proud, they become more creative, more collaborative and more loyal. Nobody should be treated as disposable cogs in a machine that exist only to do their j.o.b. and obey.

One last thing – leadership requires intentionality! As a leader, even if you are not in a leadership position (yet), you must focus on the well-being of others and what you can do to inspire them (and yourself) to greatness. Being a great leader takes conscious effort to find balance between the ever-changing business goals and employee needs… all the time… everyday.

Thank you for reading ‘Work-Life Balance Requires Respect, Trust and Choice By Everyone’. If you have a moment, please let us know, “How do you respect work-life balance?”

Bruce

Learn More About Bruce Mayhew

Toronto corporate trainer and executive coach Bruce Mayhew Consulting is in the people business… it just so happens that training and/or executive coaching is involved. Let us help you improve your productivity and employee engagement.

To learn more about how leadership training can to improve your skills call us at 416.617.0462.

Bruce Mayhew Consulting's most popular programs are Email Etiquette Training, Difficult Conversations, Generational Differences, Leadership Skills Training and Time Management Training

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Toronto based corporate trainer and executive coach Bruce Mayhew Consulting proudly offers leadership training and professional development.

What Are Core Values?

Welcome to the second in my trilogy of articles covering the importance and use of Vision Statements, Core Values (this article) and Mission Statements.

I like to think of core values as common ground we are all aware of, share, understand and can count on. Core values help unite us – be it families, the companies we work for and purchase from or the non-profit charities we support. Whether it’s connecting leadership to employees, employees to customers, or customers to a feeling of trust, core values bring people, ideas and actions together.

Defining, communicating, and living core values is essential to a company or department reaching its full potential. Yes, you can have a high-functioning department with a great leader and team who embrace shared values within a less-than-ideal company.

If you want a one sentence definition of what are core values, here it is. Core values are a list of action-oriented verbs that clearly and concisely represents the company’s guiding principles.

A company’s core values establish guidance for company leadership and employees. Core values help companies make important decisions and keep everyone on the team focused and accountable, particularly during time or challenge or change or when faced with difficult decisions. Core values are also a useful tool for recruitment. Similarly, core values are excellent tools to help improve customer awareness and confidence. When customers understand the business’s core values and see how they align with their own, they’ll more than likely trust the company.

How to Use Core Values

Before you publish the core values, determine how they will be used. How will the company help every employee begin living these values with every discussion they have, meeting they participate in and decision they make? How will these values be used in product design, implementation, marketing materials, sales discussion, and client support? When will they be used to say “Yes” and most importantly, when will they be used to say “No” or “I made a mistake.” How will these amazing new core values be integrated into every employee’s goal setting discussion and performance reviews – from the most senior to the most junior? Hold everyone accountable for living your core values – no exceptions.

Share them everywhere and all the time. What else is there to say? Implementation of your core values must be more than putting up posters in the conference rooms and updating them on your website. If that is all you do, you many as well not have done any of this work.

Finally, integrate them into your vision statement (your future looking document) and your mission statement (your what we are doing today document).

How to Build Core Values

Uncovering your core values is an important project that provides stability and guidance throughout the company. Consider these steps when planning how to find your company’s unique set of core values.

1. Assemble a Team

   As with the exercise to uncover your vision statement, assemble a team who will share in this project. Ideally, include people from different levels of the organization. An outside agency will be a great asset as they can be a neutral voice and help guide the process.

2. Brainstorm values

   In a small business you may be able to ask everyone for their insight. In a larger operation, you may need to be more selective as you capture a range of employee voices from different levels of the company. Ask employees to use verbs – action words and short statements to describe how they feel about the company, the work they do and the impact they make. Also ask what they would like to company to represent in the future. Don’t edit their feedback. You will likely end up with a long list of interesting ideas. Note, some of this feedback may not be positive or inspirational. That is valuable information into your corporate culture, and I encourage you to use it to work on your employee engagement.

3. Group themes

   Now is the time to consolidate and group similar words and statements. Look for themes that represent your business now. I also encourage you to explore themes that are inspirational and will assist in supporting change and growth.

4. Look for words that pop

   Have each person on your values team independently select 10 words they feel best meets the company’s current and future potential and uniqueness. Ask them to rate from highest to lowest and include a brief explanation of why they chose that word. Then, assemble the team and discuss. This is a time to practice your listening skills. Try to choose six core words which may have a few related words listed below them. If you have more than six core words don’t worry – go with that for now. Remember, you are looking for unique, relevant and truthful words that are inspirational for today and into the future.  

5. Draft a support statement for each word

   Try writing one sentence for each of the six word you chose in the previous step. You may want to ask each member of your team to draft a few versions of this sentence and then meet to review and discuss each option. Once you have agreed on a sentence for each word, ask questions like, “Are we missing anything?” and “Do we really believe them?”

6. Finalize core values

   Share your proposed core values with others from top leadership to your newest employee. How do they feel about them? What feedback do they have about them? Use their feedback and see if there must be any further adjustment before you lock down your final core values and support statements.

Conclusion

I recently was approached by a prospect to do some leadership training. As part of our initial discussion we began to talk about their vision statement and their core values which they were proud of for good reason, they had recently invested a good amount of time to update them as part of their current and future strategy. To honour their hard work and the hard work of other teams who want to embark on this journey, I decided to write a trilogy of articles that walks through the important process of creating and using:

• A Vision Statement

• Company Core Values (this article)

• A Mission Statement

I will link to the other two articles here as I launch them.

For now, let me leave you with one last thought about core values. Exploring, sharing and working each day being guided by your companies core values will help everyone as individuals achieve excellence as they work united toward the companies – and their own personal and professional goals.

Thank you for reading ‘What Are Core Values?’.

Be well and happy communicating, leading and creating a culture of belonging within your company or within your team.

Bruce

Learn More About Bruce Mayhew

Toronto corporate trainer and executive coach Bruce Mayhew Consulting is in the people business… it just so happens that training and/or executive coaching is involved. Let us help you improve your productivity and employee engagement.

To learn more about how leadership training can to improve your skills call us at 416.617.0462.

Bruce Mayhew Consulting's most popular programs are Email Etiquette Training, Difficult Conversations, Generational Differences, Leadership Skills Training and Time Management Training

Related Workshops That Drive Business Success

• What Is Servant Leadership?

• Email Etiquette Training

• Having Difficult Conversations

• The Role of Empathy during Difficult Conversations at Work

Toronto based corporate trainer and executive coach Bruce Mayhew Consulting offers leadership training and professional development across Canada and the USA.

Being A Great Leader Today Takes Hard Work

Being a great leader takes hard work, determination, and dedication; it’s a big responsibility. To explore with you what makes a great leader today, I’d like to talk about the elephant in the room so we can all be on the same page. Being a great leader today is a very different job than it used to be. And, while you and most of the people around you may be just beginning or in the middle of your career, I encourage you to recognize many of the management ‘structures’ most of us work within, as well as the mentors we have had at home, school and work have been strongly influenced by ‘old-school’, hierarchical leadership style. It is still a relatively new experience to be a leader of many as four different generations in our workplaces and to have to navigate the needs, challenges and opportunities that today’s highly technical and international work cultures offer. Again, it is a big responsibility.

So what does being a great leader today mean? Well, it has very little to do with being a boss and a great deal about inspiring everyone you work with. It means creating a team out of a group of individuals while respecting and encouraging their individuality. Being a great leader also impacts every email, every conversation, every meeting, every goal strategy session, every difficult conversation, and every performance review; it means we are always ‘on’.

One more thing before we get going because I hear “But I’m an introvert” frequently. Well, I can honestly share I am also an introvert, and I know it is possible to help everyone around you to believe in themselves and what they can accomplish in ways that are comfortable to you so that you can still feel authentic and respect your individuality. But let me also reassure those of you who are extraverts. No matter if you are an introvert or an extravert, both tap into empathy on a regular basis, therefore we can be genuinely empathetic when we are working to inspire people around us. It’s just that each tap into it in different ways. 

If you are still asking the question, “How do I unlock my leadership skills so I can take myself and my team to the next level?” Great! That’s what I like to hear. Let’s explore how you can unlock your full potential which requires through a bit of self-reflection / self-awareness and how you can invest in yourself.

Self-Reflection / Self-Awareness

A high degree of self-reflection / self-awareness is foundational to being a great leader. It is empowering to know how you act when faced with feelings like curiosity, surprise, difficulty, or joy. It is also empowering to know how others “see” you. Are you approachable, warm, trustworthy, curious, and fair or are you the opposite? Do you have a reputation as being dependable and creative or are you known as the first one to look for an opportunity to delay a project or deflect responsibility? In a nutshell (as my dad would say), what are your best characteristics… and which ones might be holding you back, and frankly also holding your team back?

Being self-aware is one of the most important of all the soft skills we will discuss because it provides an opportunity to explore many of the other leadership characteristics of great leaders. It is a process where you can learn about yourself and help you set new expectations for your own personal and professional development. I also want to acknowledge that exploring your own self-awareness takes a bit of courage… ok, perhaps a lot of courage. The journey may make us feel exposed and vulnerable… especially if we believe a leader must exhibit unshakable confidence and authority.

I recommend taking a three-pronged approach in your self-reflection / self-aware journey. 

1. Know you are likely going to hear things that will be a surprise. This surprise may be positive, but may also be… constructive. With challenging news, don’t get defensive, and don’t blame those people who cared enough for you that they chose to trust you and share their observations and experiences. Instead, be grateful and accept the information humbly and with a growth mindset – accept you are going to use that information productively to better yourself.

2. Approach trusted friends, family and colleagues. We cannot rely on only our own interpretation of our impact. If we do we may not see or learn about behaviours that are challenging. And to be fair, we may not see or undervalue some of our most important qualities.
   

   Let your trusted community know you are looking to improve yourself and need their help. If you think they will be hesitant to share this feedback with you in-person, that may already be a red-flag for you. But, if you want to make an accommodation for them, arrange it so that everyone submits their responses to questions anonymously, in writing. Ask questions like:

   a)   Do I inspire confidence within the people I work with?

   b)   When challenges arise, how do I deal with them? Do I inspire calm?

   c)   Do I stay grounded when I feel overwhelmed?

   d)   Do others feel I help them feel proud of their work? How frequently do I do this?

   e)   Do I appear to share information (transparency) or be somewhat guarded?

   f)    Am I a good listener?

   g)   Do I encourage others to share their point of view, thoughts, experience?

   h)   Do I empower others to be able to work independently?

   i)    Do the people around me feel I trust their work and their experience?

   j)    What are my best qualities? What should I keep doing?

   k)   What qualities should I work on? How can I improve?

3. Use a formal 360 type feedback mechanism which is very popular in at-work environments. 360’s are an anonymous feedback process where (as an example) co-workers, people who report into us, colleagues from other teams and potentially even clients and suppliers are asked to provide their written feedback to predefined questions.

Your search should gather information about your success in creating an inspired culture of trust, cooperation, and respect. Are the people you lead guided by shared goals and values and proud of what they accomplish as well as what the team accomplishes?

In the end, recognize there is great power in this exploration since nobody rises to low or no expectations.

Exercise Your Comfort Communicating

Being a great communicator is another of the most important leadership skills. Being crystal clear about the information you share with others as well as how you are sharing that information gives the people around you a rich understanding of what is expected of them. Crystal clear communication is critical to helping those around you feel included, that everyone has the information they need to feel empowered and successfully get their jobs done.

Great communication provides team members a shared focus of their work and greater alignment of the decisions they make whether they are working late at night by themselves or in the middle of a team brainstorming meeting. Being a strong communicator is also an opportunity to reinforce your shared company vision and values; the ‘Why’s and How’s’ associated to their work. Exercising your comfort communicating also means being generous with encouragement and praise.

Simply put, clear understanding, autonomy and responsibility encourage pride in their effort, self-esteem, confidence, and builds leadership skills in others. With more and more of the people working remotely some or all the time, our comfort communicating is now even more important.

Offer Encouragement And Praise When It Is Due

Being a great leader means taking opportunities to make sure people know they are doing well. Once a year during a 10-minute performance review just doesn’t cut it anymore. We all have a need to feel a sense of relevance and progress. You and I want to feel the work we do is meaningful and we are adding to the greater good. The greater good could be the team, it could be the company, it could be our community and planet… or it could be all of these.

Encouragement and praise from other people – especially people we trust and admire is like using a high-performance gasoline. Still the same engine, but now we are empowered to do more… and we do this with an exciting vroom vroom in our step.

And don’t worry, especially if outward praise doesn’t come natural to you. Encouragement and praise don’t have to be complicated (or expensive). Employees don’t need front-of-the room presentations, and they don’t need expensive bonuses (although nobody I know would say no to a cash bonus). Unfortunately, using money as the primary symbol of praise and recognition is a legacy of my dad’s generation. Don’t get me wrong – being paid fairly is important, but verbal and even non-verbal feedback is amazingly powerful… and timely. For example, when you see Bruce doing a great job solving a client issue, tell him… and be specific about what he did well. Say something like, “I saw how you took initiative and worked to fully understand what they needed and then offered a few solutions so they felt they had choice.” Or “Bruce, I noticed how you re-formatted all the tables in the presentation to follow the same layout. Even though content was from three departments, it reinforced how we are trying to project a single source solution.” 

Stay In Touch

Staying in touch is more than going to meetings, assigning projects, and giving or getting updates. Sure, all those things are important and must be done but staying in touch with your team also means listening and being there for them.  

The thing is, staying in touch is a two-way-street. It is an opportunity to get ahead of challenges – sure – but it should be so much more. Staying in touch is an opportunity to build a micro-culture where you enjoy trusting relationships with others, where you learn what motivates people, you get to know them… and you give them an opportunity to get to know you.

I want to encourage you to consider other opportunities to build trust and community by staying in touch. Create a routine where you regularly check in with your employees. Don’t leave these discussions and relationship building opportunities to their annual or semi-annual performance review. For example, have formal monthly meetings with your senior team. In addition, set and prioritize bi-weekly one-on-one meetings with each member of your team (or even a business partner) with the goal of being there for them verses them being there for you. For example, have what I call ‘15-minute Laser Meetings’ where your team member is the one who decides the agenda. They come to the meeting prepared to discuss one or two topics that are important to them and might include:

• Project updates (if that is their choice)

• An FYI on potential risks that may be brewing with a project or supplier

• An outright ask for your help to get buy-in from another department (or person)

• A discussion on how they are feeling overwhelmed by their workload

• An update on some family challenges that may require some workplace flexibility over the next month

• A request for career advice or to help them find a mentor

• A request for professional development training

One amazingly powerful way to build a trusting workplace community and stay in touch is to go macro during some of your one-on-one (and team) meetings. Instead of discussing the detail of a project, discuss the impact of their work and a project on the overall organizational goals and values.

Another way to stay in touch is to recognize success. When is the last time you ended a meeting or video call and simply (and genuinely) said something like, “Hi Paula, I noticed how confident and well prepared you were for the briefing yesterday. You did a great job. I hope you are proud of yourself.” Imagine how inspired Paula will be for the next week… and potentially even longer.

When you are experiencing organizational change, I can assure you that this is a time when staying in touch is imperative. When facing such challenges as navigating organizational change, be transparent about the tasks at hand and infuse your team with a shared vision of how your company can benefit from the impending transition. Continually provide updates and reiterate the plan for moving forward to ensure your employees are aligned and understand how their work factors into larger corporate objectives.

Being self-aware helps you stay in touch. For example, if you are an extravert, being self-aware will help you pull back from what may be a natural tendency to insert yourself into the conversation, or to stop using sentences that start with, “What I would do would be to…”.   Being self-aware may also help introverts give themselves a small push to engage in a different way. If all of this sounds like I’m encouraging you to exercise your soft skills, you are right.

Be Your Authentic Self… And Stretch Your Authentic Self

Can you imagine how many times have I heard someone say, “That is great for you, but that is not me” during a leadership-based conversation. If that is the case for you, here is some tough love. Being authentic doesn’t mean not learning and growing. You were ‘authentic’ when you started your first job. You were still ‘authentic’ last month, and since then I’m sure you have had new experiences that have further developed your authentic self. I’m not encouraging you to be someone you are not, I am encouraging you to be more aware of what is around you, and the opportunities you take to learn, grow and show your authentic self. I’d also encourage you to be curious about how people are responding to you and to situations you are involved in. After a team meeting or your monthly management meeting, do your team members hurriedly and quietly gather their belongings and rush out of your office, or are they usually energized and excited by your meetings?

Self-reflection is one way for you to choose to make a few changes in how you engage with others and from your investment, to experience some of the most immediate benefits, quickly inspiring trust, enhancing your performance, your team’s performance, and everyone’s pride and satisfaction from your shared accomplishments. So, I’m inviting you to decide how you might want to interact differently… for your own benefit and the benefit of those around you.

Find a balance where you can be yourself and still intentionally open yourself to new experiences and new things to learn. If you are an extravert, perhaps work on practicing your patience and listening skills. If you are an introvert, perhaps work on being ‘out there’ a bit more. As an introverted leader, having the structured laser meetings I discussed in the ‘Stay In Touch’ section might be a really good way to feel safe as you push yourself out of your comfort zone.

Being your authentic self through this journey will enable you to build a greater sense of trust… one of the most critical qualities of a great leader. When you are trusted and your team trust each other, each will proudly feel:

• Less stress

• Higher productivity

• Greater engagement

• Greater loyalty

Conclusion

We’ve discussed a lot of opportunity for you to become a great leader. As I was saying to someone just the other day, if you have time to address urgent issues, you have time to be proactive and take care of yourself and your team.

And let me share one last piece of advice. Have fun. Give yourself time to learn and adapt as you dedicate time for self-reflection and regular check-ins with your team. Allow yourself to make mistakes, because if you embark on this journey, you will make mistakes. Just apologize when you do – after all, you are only human.

Be well and happy communicating, leading and creating a culture of belonging.

Bruce

Learn More About Bruce Mayhew

Toronto corporate trainer and executive coach Bruce Mayhew Consulting is in the people business… it just so happens that training and/or executive coaching is involved. Let us help you improve your productivity and employee engagement.

To learn more about how leadership training can to improve your skills call us at 416.617.0462.

Bruce Mayhew Consulting's most popular programs are Email Etiquette Training, Difficult Conversations, Generational Differences, Leadership Skills Training and Time Management Training

Related Workshops That Drive Business Success

• What Is Servant Leadership?

• Email Etiquette Training

• Having Difficult Conversations

• The Role of Empathy during Difficult Conversations at Work

Toronto based corporate trainer and executive coach Bruce Mayhew Consulting offers leadership training and professional development across Canada and the USA.

Honouring Our Values: Letting Values Be Our Guide During Adversity

Our values draw us toward people we admire and love. They guide our everyday choices and instinctively inform us to what is right and wrong behaviour. Our values are also our superpower when we encounter difficult situations and adversity. When we are challenged, our values help us make difficult decisions, reconciling what we should and should not do (or say and should not say), especially if there is a ‘price’ to pay for our action or inaction.

This article is an exploration of how we can ease our journey through adversity by understanding how our values can help us in a very conscious way.

Step 1. Know Our Personal and Professional Values and What They Mean To Us

Most of us don’t pay attention to our values, and that is OK. When nothing unusual is happening our values sit in the background, like software running on our computer always doing something. But there is still great benefit in taking time to get to know our personal and professional values and what they mean to us.

When we have explored what our values are and what they mean to us, we can use them to make the right decisions quickly and confidently… especially when we have to make difficult or challenging decisions. Knowing our values allows us to confidently stand for what we believe in and to show ourselves respect. This ability to make good decisions quickly also becomes part of our reputation, we become known for our quick, thoughtful, and reliable decision making.

Step 2. Consciously Use Our Values To Explore Challenging Situations

When we feel worried, confused, vulnerable or even threatened, what do we do? We have only two choices. React or Respond. 

When our emotions get triggered you and I react, and risk making less than ideal decisions. When we react our actions are based on instinct and have very little to no analytical engagement. Questions like “Why is this happening?”, “What is most important to me?, and “What are my options,” have a slim chance of being evaluated. We need to accept that when our values are challenged we often will feel uncomfortable, vulnerable and even defensive. But, it doesn’t have to be this way when we spend some time getting to know our values in advance.

We can respond with confidence and clarity of mind when we consciously, purposefully use our values to guide our decisions and actions. When we respond versus react, our values help us understand what is going on, what we are feeling and help us decide what we want to do next. We can evaluate what is important to us, the pros and cons of our actions and confidently be responsible for our decisions. All this may take only a fraction of a second or it may take some time… but it happens.

And, perhaps most important of all, knowing our values allow us to keep from forcing our values and our beliefs on others. I don’t believe our values should ever impact other people’s rights to express their values and beliefs. Challenging situations not only allow us to patiently evaluate a situation, they also allow us to evaluate our values, what they say about us and if this may be a time for us and/or our values to evolve.

Step 3. Use Our Values To Embrace Change and Growth

When we use our values to explore new ideas (or new values) and to consciously decide how we want to respond, means we are also giving ourselves a gift… we are giving ourselves an opportunity to learn, grow and change for the better every single time in a thoughtful, intentional way. Even the experience you are having at this moment by reading this article means you are intentionally using your values (like curiosity). And, even if you disagree with some or all of what I am sharing, the simple act of being thoughtful and evaluating a topic often translates to personal evolution and growth. I love this!

Unfortunately, fear sometimes prevents us from our instinct to grow. Instead of trying something new we go with what we know – what we think is safe but is actually holding us back. For example, how often do you order something completely different at a restaurant… or even choose to go to a new restaurant? I get it… the unknown can be scary and unpredictable. But look on the bright side, what new flavours, tastes and even company are you missing? What new favourite foods and friends might be out there so far… unexplored?

At work we have to accept that in today’s fast paced, highly technical, global market we can’t be expected to know everything. Even the smartest people and the best leaders don’t have all the answers. So, whether it is our personal lives, or our professional lives, we need to try to let our main values be ‘Growth Through Curiosity’ at least some of the time. We can learn to let our fear inform us and even empower us. Recognize that our fear is just letting us know there are new people and/or new information we have not yet had a chance to consider.

Conclusion

Get to know our values and how they can help us and the people around us in so many ways. Our values give us clarity and confidence, because getting to know our values allows us to get to know ourselves better.

Thank you for reading ‘Honouring Our Values: Letting Values Be Our Guide During Adversity’.

Be well and happy communicating, leading and creating a culture of belonging within your company or within your team.

Bruce

Learn More About Bruce Mayhew

Toronto corporate trainer and executive coach Bruce Mayhew Consulting is in the people business… it just so happens that training and/or executive coaching is involved. Let us help you improve your productivity and employee engagement.

To learn more about how leadership training can to improve your skills call us at 416.617.0462.

Bruce Mayhew Consulting's most popular programs are Email Etiquette Training, Difficult Conversations, Generational Differences, Leadership Skills Training and Time Management Training

Related Workshops That Drive Business Success

• What Is Servant Leadership?

• Email Etiquette Training

• Having Difficult Conversations

• The Role of Empathy during Difficult Conversations at Work

Toronto based corporate trainer and executive coach Bruce Mayhew Consulting offers leadership training and professional development across Canada and the USA.

Great Leaders Create a Culture of Belonging

Is your superpower the ability to help your employees feel they belong? When employees know they are part of a team that ‘has each other’s back’ and their contribution matters, employees experience amazing mental, physical, and financial health benefits. Imagine how fantastic that would feel. And there is also benefit to your success as their leader and the company when you help your employees feel they belong. Imagine how much less stress you would feel knowing you lead a high-performing team that is loyal, creative, productive and has greater attention to detail (I could go on). Simply put, creating a culture of belonging is a Win-Win-Win.

Create a Culture of Belonging

So, let’s explore how to create an at-work culture of belonging. To do this I think it is important to start by recognizing that every team culture will be unique – just like every family has a culture that is also unique. I also want to recognize that every great leader from Alan Mulally (one of my all-time favourites), to Bob Iger, Jeff Weiner and Reshma Saujani likely have best-practices that are unique to their style and personality… just like I expect you have a style that is unique to you. But to get your creative juices flowing, let me share a few recommendations I share with leaders I’ve coached. 

1.     Be Authentic, become Trustworthy

Be sure you are being yourself. If you try to ‘be’ someone else, others will recognize this and wonder what you are hiding and when you are going to fall out of your act; they wont be able to trust you or their surroundings.

One of the most difficult things for many leaders is admitting they don’t have all the answers. But it’s also important to know that even the very best leaders make mistakes and have something to learn. Learning, listening and pushing your boundaries should be moments of authenticity your whole team expects and duplicates. Another example of authenticity may be if you are participating in training and team building activities. It’s OK to share this is new territory for you as well and that like them, you may feel a bit uncomfortable. The important thing is to find a way to participate, have fun and be part of their team. People respect honesty. Being authentic and transparent will build trust with those around you, and it will likely help others do the same.

2.     Honour Values

Values are not something to keep secret. Values are who we are; they influence our how we respond to joy, pressure, challenges and the unknown.

Your values will influence your behaviour and the decisions you make. Your values are often the things people remember about you minutes, days and even years later. It is difficult to fake values – especially for a long time which is why as a leader, hiring people for their values is often more important than hiring them for their skills. As a leader it is also important to be sure your team know the corporate values and how they can use those values to inform their behaviour and decisions as they work which in turn help your team rely on each other, decisions that haven’t even been made yet and of course, your customer / client experience. 

3.     Have One-on-One Meetings

I’ve always been a big fan of leaders having one-on-one meetings with their direct reports. Typically, every two weeks should work well, however in times of great change, high-stress or high-volume, it may be better to have one meeting each week.

I also want to share my recommendation that as a leader, have one-on-one, ‘welcome to the team, just want us to get to know each other’ introductory conversations with new employees. I don’t mean just your direct reports, I also mean having one-on-one introduction meetings with the new employees who report into your direct reports and even perhaps two levels below (depending on the size of your teams). Nothing says “I matter and I belong” more on day #1 of your new job than finding a meeting has already been booked for you to have a 30-minute one-on-one intro conversation with your boss’s boss for later that week.

4.     Help Others Feel Great

Be sure your team feel they are respected, and their work is relevant. There are many ways to help people feel respected. What is important is to find ways that are natural for you. Here are a few recommendations, but please note, this is not an exhaustive list.

• Option 1. Tell them they did a great job. Give them encouragement, even if they have experienced a set-back. Validate their effort, not only the results, especially if they worked hard but the project didn’t turn out exactly as planned. Success almost never happens the first time, it takes an iterative process so help them feel proud especially when they may be feeling discouraged.

• Option 2. Let them see and/or speak with an end-user of your product or service. Help them hear stories of the meaningful impact and important contribution their contribution has had.

• Option 3. Help them know what happens next with the work they do. Help them see how important their quality work and perhaps their creative work is, and how it makes someone else’s job one step down the line better and less stressful.

5.     Empower Autonomy

Employees are often happier when they feel they have some input over what they do and when they do it, especially if their position allows them to work in a hybrid model.

Empowering autonomy often generates an increased sense of commitment, responsibility, pride in their work and pride in the respect the company provides them. It’s still OK to have some company or department structure. For example, one company I heard of allows flexibility through the week but asks everyone to be in-office every Wednesday to help facilitate community, provide opportunity for spontaneous conversations and to implement formal training. So, go ahead and give them some autonomy while making sure they know you are always available for support, the purpose of a project and the important timelines. They will make the right decisions.

6.     Promote ‘Everyone Has a Voice’

Develop a more productive teamwork model by making sure everyone has a voice – an opportunity to contribute. Practice an attitude of acceptance and glass half full and instead listen to each other’s ideas and learned experience. A great corporate culture recognizes great ideas don’t pay attention to hierarchy and the people who are closest to the clients or manufacturers likely have some of the most relevant ideas. To support this, when someone’s idea is moved forward and/or included, be sure to recognize their contribution.

7.     Nourish Creativity

Embrace new ways of thinking and even go out of your way to be exposed to new ideas and new people. Lead by example so people can see how it ‘works’.

As a leader (and in many ways we are all leaders), encourage and support everyone around you to find ways for them to experience something different at work and outside of work. Ask others what they are reading and watching and consider reading and watching yourself. Attend conferences, take an online class and/or attend corporate training opportunities. Start building a reading library at work for people to recommend and share books and articles. And above and beyond anything, keep an open mind.

8.     Build ‘Familiarity’ Within Your Team

The pandemic has been a challenging ‘friend’ to teamwork and creating a culture of belonging. At the same time, it has provided an opportunity for us all to stretch and grow as we faced new personal and professional challenges including how to connect virtually. I don’t want virtual meetings to replace all in-person communication, but as we move forward. I do hope we can use our newly learned skills and acceptance of virtual connection as one more opportunity to bring teams – especially remote teams together to share each other’s work, to participate in education and training and to find ways to get to know each other as individuals.

9.     Encourage Connection with Community

There are endless ways to connect with our community and none of them must be formal or corporate driven. For example:

• Option 1. Support your team getting together for half-a-day once a month to do something community oriented like visit a Foodbank and pack groceries. Especially if you all can’t be off-line at once you can do this as a team, mini-teams or as individuals.

• Option 2. Ask everyone to pitch in $10 so you can outfit a child from head-to-toe who could use some help as they start playing soccer, baseball, hockey or whatever.

• Option 3. Invite a guest speaker from a local not-for-profit to share what their organization does and how their organization impacts the community.

Conclusion

Being surrounded by others doesn’t mean you and I will automatically feel a sense of belonging. A culture of belonging is all about feeling accepted, of being part of something worthwhile that deepen our sense of importance, pride and accomplishment.

Belonging is so powerful that it becomes part of our identity; it shapes how you and I think, how we respond to things and will influence many of our basic behaviours. The desire to belong is also a fundamental and extremely powerful motivator. As a leader, recognizing the importance and power of inspiring a sense of belonging with those around you - be it at work, with people you share a hobby, people at the gym or simply with your family. Your sense of belonging is an important opportunity to drive success for yourself and for everyone / everything round you.

Be well and happy communicating, leading and creating a culture of belonging within your company or within your team.

Bruce

Learn More About Bruce Mayhew

Toronto corporate trainer and executive coach Bruce Mayhew Consulting is in the people business… it just so happens that training and/or executive coaching is involved. Let us help you improve your productivity and employee engagement.

To learn more about how leadership training can to improve your skills call us at 416.617.0462.

Bruce Mayhew Consulting's most popular programs are Email Etiquette Training, Difficult Conversations, Generational Differences, Leadership Skills Training and Time Management Training

Related Workshops That Drive Business Success

• Email Etiquette Training

• Having Difficult Conversations

• The Role of Empathy during Difficult Conversations at Work

Toronto based corporate trainer and executive coach Bruce Mayhew Consulting offers leadership training and professional development across Canada and the USA.

What Is Servant Leadership?

This article explores the question “What is servant leadership?” and some recommendations for leaders who want to become great servant leaders.

Servant Leadership as a formal leadership approach has been around since the 1970’s. The positive impact a leader who follows the servant leadership approach has is impressive. It is widely accepted that employees who are supported by a leader who embraces the servant leadership model feel more engaged and purpose driven. In short, employees have greater trust in their leader and as such feel a greater sense of ownership, impact and creativity for their work and often the organization. All of this leads to employees who are more loyal and therefore turnover costs and loss of institutional knowledge decreases. 

I have to say I am not fond of the phrase ‘servant’, instinctively it is a negative trigger word for me and may be for you as well. And yes, I know that in this context it is meant as positive – to intentionally and willingly support others so they can be the best they can be. I liken this to how a parent chooses to put their children’s needs before their own so their children can grow and become the best they can be. Still, I wish that Robert K. Greenleaf who initially coined the name ‘Servant Leadership’ would have found another name.

I think it is important to lay a foundation and share my belief that every one of us can be called on to be a leader, no matter what our official title may be. For example, if people look to you for your expertise during a meeting, you are likely being a subject matter expert and leader in that moment. Therefore, anyone can follow the servant leadership model in their day-to-day work. Let me also share my belief that while an organization may not embrace a servant leadership culture, an individual can still develop a culture within their own department / bubble that embraces qualities of service leadership.

What Is The Difference Between Servant Leadership And Traditional Leadership?

A popular question is “What is the difference between servant leadership and traditional leadership?”

Servant leadership occurs when a leader sees the support and growth of their people (including their personal and professional health and development) as their main responsibility; basically, people come first. The main focus of a servant leader is to support the company’s employees and to provide them with the resources, information, flexibility, training and coaching they need (see my 11 Principles below), so they will be inspired and committed to working together to reach the company goals and market success. Service leadership is about empowering people as a valuable asset and enriching them in order to reach defined company goals.

Traditional Leadership focuses more on hierarchy and a high degree of guidance and influence in what employees do, how they do it and when; basically, company comes first. Following a pre-established process is typical in a traditional leadership model. Employees are given very little decision-making opportunity or autonomy. This ‘distance’ and lack of personal control means employees often feel very little ownership and commitment to their work or the company. The main focus of a traditional leader is to reach the company goals and market success in any way possible using people (to varying degrees) as a necessary resource.

Being A Servant Leader in 2022

Successful leaders in 2022 must accept they don’t have all the answers. New technology, new ways to work, new market conditions, new employee needs and new client needs are constantly shifting our world. Servant leaders embrace this and see this insight as a positive… a superpower that their competition may not (and often do not) have.

Servant leaders empower and inspire their employees to bring their whole self and unique expertise to each task. To do this servant leaders invest time to get to know the people around them. Servant leaders get to know people’s skills, what inspires them, how they communicate, their goals and opportunities for growth. Servant leaders learn how to help others succeed.

The same way a servant leader helps their employees develop new skills and be their best in their personal and professional lives, servant leaders also embrace growth in their own personal and professional lives; they serve as a living example for their team. In 2022, I believe one of the most important attributes of a successful leader is knowing that being a leader is a privilege and must be seen as a constant journey, a never-ending opportunity for each of us to invest in ourselves. There will always be strengths a great leader will have to learn, be reminded of and even re-learn. The moment a leader feels comfortable is the moment they will be losing their advantage.

Bruce Mayhew’s 11 Principles of a Powerful Servant Leader

As I mentioned above, I’m not thrilled about the term ‘Servant Leadership’ so for now I’m going to call these principles my ‘11 Principles of Service Leadership’. In one way of another, many of the people I work with ask me, “What do I have to do to be a great leader?” To be a leader no matter what your title says you are, you have to be committed to a life of learning about and practicing all of the following 11 principles.

1. Acceptance that leadership is a never-ending journey

2. Self-aware (Our Strengths, How We Act, Our Impact on Others)

3. Humanity (Values, Individuality, Empathy / Compassion)

4. Earn Trust (Faith, Confidence, Reliance / Commitment)

5. Vision (Dreamer, Prophet, Communicate Strategic Direction)

6. Transparent (Vision is shared, ‘Why’ is shared, Measurements of Success shared)

7. Foster Inclusivity (A trusted method for Input, Belonging, Diversity, Respect)

8. Be a Gardener to Individuals and Teams (Coach, Inspire, Ownership / Responsibility, Develop Others, Let others fail /learn, Support / Reward, Collaboration / Community)

9. Patience (Stamina, Serenity, A Listener)

10. Competence (Capability, Skill, Experience)

11. Character (Charm, Charisma, A Healer)

Conclusion

A servant leader sees beyond the company goals and ROI and instead actively seeks to develop and empower each employee and to align each employees’ goals and need with the goals and needs of the company.

I encourage you to explore how you can position your employees first and how you can align their goals with the goals of the company. On your own leadership journey, explore how self-aware you are and the trust you may or may not be developing as you support and communicate with others. And don’t forget to invest in yourself. Being a great leader is rarely a natural skill and learning how to be a great leader is not easy and doesn’t happen overnight. If you need help, find a mentor and a coach (I said and, not or) to help you become a better leader.

Thank you for reading “What Is Servant Leadership?”. I look forward to your thoughts, comments, stories.

Learn More About Our Leadership Training

Toronto corporate trainer and executive coach Bruce Mayhew Consulting is in the people business… it just so happens that training and/or executive coaching is involved. Let us help you improve your productivity and employee engagement.

To learn more about how leadership training can to improve your skills call us at 416.617.0462.

Bruce Mayhew Consulting's most popular programs are Email Etiquette Training, Difficult Conversations, Generational Differences, Leadership Skills Training and Time Management Training

Related Workshops That Drive Business Success

• Email Etiquette Training

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Toronto based corporate trainer and executive coach Bruce Mayhew Consulting offers leadership training and professional development across Canada and the USA.

The Best Kind of Belonging

We all want to belong somewhere and to be part of something important. This is a good thing.

The challenge comes when we change how we act in order to fit in – seeking approval in a way that my dad would say is, “Going against our grain”. That never really works. Instead of belonging we are constantly making small changes / adjustments along the way to make sure we are behaving how we think we need to behave. We are always on guard, feeling stress and wondering when our charade will be discovered.

Yes, change is inevitable, change is even important. Growing and evolving is part of life; it’s exciting. But, being true to ourselves is also important. Being true to ourselves and growing / evolving is different than changing who we ‘appear’ to be in order to fit in. Growing is about getting bigger, exploring, finding new parts of ourselves and making parts we already know of even better. Fitting in is about getting smaller and ignoring parts of us that are important to our true nature. As Author Roy T Bennett said, “It’s only after you’ve stepped outside of your comfort zone that you begin to change, grow and transform.”

Because belonging means we have to first be true to ourselves, belonging means that sometimes we have to stand alone. The beauty is that when we get to know ourselves we also get to decide… to choose when we don’t fit in. We can be comfortable standing alone because we know why we are standing alone. Knowing why is an incredibly important part of understanding; it gives clarity, focus and strength. In this case, standing alone is a demonstration of confidence, not defiance or fear; we are not diminishing the value some one or some team by choosing to stand alone. Quite the opposite should be true. While we choose to stand alone or go in another direction we must keep the communication channels open with others, we owe that respect to ourselves and to others.

In our personal lives, the concept of belonging often starts the moment we meet someone. We know quickly if we feel we have anything in common – often because we intuitively pick up on key markers like other peoples values, integrity and ethical principles. If we don’t have anything in common, even the most superficial conversations can feel difficult and emotionally draining. Our response is that we let go of (or minimize) these relationships as quickly as we can.

In our professional lives, the same kind of emotional challenges we have in our personal lives happen, and those challenges make work easy and enjoyable or difficult and draining. And, when ‘difficult and draining’ happens, the overall energy, trust and loyalty of each person on the team begins to degrade. You know this – we’ve all experienced it when our values and ethical principles are not in-line with someone we work with.

The best kind of belonging is not something others give to us, it comes from within. True belonging is a gift to ourselves. When we belong 100 percent to ourselves, that is when we are able to belong to a tribe and know we can trust that bond… even if that tribe consists of only one other person. The kind of trust I call ‘Earned Trust’. For me, that is the best part of belonging because even though some people may think we are weird we can be comfortable being authentic. In addition, the people around us can always trust we will uphold our reputation and our values, and we will give our best, no matter how our relationship is defined.

As I mention above, deep trust lives within the best kind of belonging - the kind of trust that is earned over time, trust we can count on and trust that can count on us. To put a fine point on this, lets take a look at what I mean when I say earned trust.

• Earned Trust: Sharing something I value - putting it or me at risk (my reputation or career for example), because over time I have learned to believe that the thing I value… and me as an individual are safe with you and respected.

• Distrust: Keeping something I value private - guarding it (my experience, connections or creativity for example), because I don't believe the thing I value… and me as an individual are safe with you or respected.

Thank you for reading The Best Kind of Belonging. I look forward to your thoughts, comments, stories.

NOTE: Because hiring the right people is so important as part of my leadership series I teach Behaviour Event Interview best practices.

About Bruce and Bruce Mayhew Consulting.

Bruce is Corporate Trainer, Keynote Speaker and Executive Coach.

Bruce Mayhew Consulting specializes in customized Difficult Conversations, Crucial Conversations or Conflict Management Training, Email Etiquette Training, Leadership & New Leadership Development, Generational Differences, Time Management Training and other soft skills training solutions in Toronto and across Canada. Bruce is also an Executive Coach to a few select clients.

Bruce is an experienced motivational speaker in Toronto and has inspired audiences across Canada and within the USA and the UK. Bruce works hard to always make sure your training event, conference, retreat, or annual general meeting is a success.

Empathy at Work During the Covid Pandemic and Moving Forward

An exploration of empathy is an important opportunity as we all push through the Covid-19 pandemic. Learning what other people may be feeling, believing and/or needing during this difficult time helps us learn about ourselves and what is important to us. Practicing empathy also helps us be strong, recover and even emerge out of a bad experience with greater awareness and resilience. It helps us be the people we want to be and build the future we deserve.

We can all agree the Covid pandemic has us under greater stress. If we’ve been able to continue working during the pandemic we’ve likely either separated from others with plexiglass and masks (as important as they are), or we’ve fallen into a pattern of back-to-back, highly efficient Zoom calls and even more email than ever. Covid also has added stress to our family lives, sometimes keeping family members apart while keeping others together 24/7 for weeks and even months on end. Even grocery shopping and other simple tasks has become complicated. And, worst of all, Covid has taken friends and loved ones away from many of us.

At this stage of the pandemic most of us are exhausted, less connected and are quite simply out of practice at how to be social and build personal connections, both of which help us have trusting, respectful and mutually beneficial relationships.

Finding the silver lining

We can give our shared distress some meaning. Nelson Mandela said, “Everyone can rise above their circumstances and achieve success if they are dedicated to and passionate about what they do.” As we rebuild, we have an opportunity to reflect on what we are learning about ourselves, our communities and our workspaces. We also get to decide how we want to move forward as we celebrate our strength and resilience.

Even though we may not be fully out of the Covid pandemic, let’s not wait to take a positive next step.

In our workspaces each of us (from the brand new employee to the veteran leader) have an opportunity to champion healthy workspaces and build healthy teams and healthy companies. All of us can take on a leadership role to create empathetic workspaces built upon shared respect and trust… even if it is within our own bubble, one positive step will lead to another and will influence someone else. Another Nelson Mandela quote seems appropriate here, “As we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same”.

Opportunities to practice empathy and the benefits

Empathy is at our fingertips, all we have to do is choose to use it. And best of all, it is free of charge and very effective.

Here are 6 of my favourite opportunities to practice empathy:

1. Explore our personal and shared values… and what they mean

2. Be open to learn about each other and from each other (I love hearing other peoples stories)

3. Strive to develop greater team communication and inclusion

4. Support greater collaboration, commitment, creativity and innovation

5. Support greater work life balance

6. Be very open to continuous change (all of these opportunities will require an element of change)

By following the above mentioned opportunities to practice empathy, in addition to greater workplace harmony we all can experience the following Win-Win benefits for ourselves, our friends/coworkers and our company (I think this is amazing, especially since empathy costs nothing):

• Less burnout

• Greater satisfaction, pride and sense of purpose in our work (for us and for others)

• Greater productivity

• Lower turnover

• Greater customer experiences and customer satisfaction

Using empathy at work and other places

Empathy is at the heart of feeling respect for ourselves and others. When we feel respected it meets our individual need to feel valued for our contribution. There are so many ways to explore empathy both within ourselves and outwardly as we all push through the Covid-19 pandemic. In addition to the 6 opportunities to practice empathy during the covid pandemic and moving forward that I mentioned above, here are 5 more described in a bit more detail.

• Make a conscious effort to use empathy to rebuild trusting and respectful relationships. Show the people you work with that you care about them by learning about them and listening to their stories with no judgement. And, if they have a challenge, don’t jump into solutions mode. Instead, pause and listen; be understanding. That might be all they need.

• Every once in a while, call a friend, family member or business connection to just to say hi – especially if you don’t need anything from them. Take a moment to sincerely ask how they are. This shows them you care about them as individuals.

• Be respectful, especially if their preferences and beliefs are different than your own. There are two types of respect that build trusting relationships; Earned Respect and Owed Respect.

  • Owed Respect is based on a sense of equally and everyone should experience it. If it is lacking there is often micromanaging, abuse of power, dismissiveness, passive aggressive behaviour.

  • Earned Respect is based on our individual accomplishments or qualities. We are recognized for our expertise and given opportunity to contribute and perhaps even lead when we are the subject matter expert. If it is lacking, we feel interchangeable and don’t get credit for our unique contribution and/or ideas.

• Be open to the idea that compromise is a source of strength, not weakness. Finding a shared solution does mean we learn about each others needs and therefore often take a bit more time. In workspaces shared solutions are often more impactful and more creative. And, because shared solutions are supported by multiple people and/or departments, respect, commitment and collaboration also increase… all because of compromise.

• Volunteer somewhere. Studies show that when we help other people we trigger our mesolimbic system, the part of our brain that is responsible for feelings of reward, pride and an increase in self-esteem. Volunteering also provides us opportunities to be in low stress situations, to do something good and to be around other like-minded people. All of this means we are able to practice our communication skills, build good bonds with new ‘friends’ and build even stronger bonds with existing friends and family. Overall, another Win-Win.

Conclusion

This is just a snapshot of how empathy provides a life-long opportunity to grow and become a better version of ourselves. As we emerge out of the Covid-19 pandemic we all have the opportunity to do so with greater awareness of who we want to be, how we want to act and who we want to be with and work with. All we have to do is begin to explore our potential.

Now more than ever lets remember to practice patience with ourselves and others and take this moment to explore how we have practiced empathy in the past and how we can ratchet it up a notch or two moving forward.

Thank you for reading about how to move forward as we all push through the Covid-19 pandemic.

Bruce

Other articles in this series include:

• The Importance of Empathy at Work

• How to Practice Empathy at Work

• 8 Habits of Highly Empathic People

• The Role of Empathy During Difficult Conversations at Work

About Bruce and Bruce Mayhew Consulting.

Bruce is Corporate Trainer, Keynote Speaker and Executive Coach.

Bruce Mayhew Consulting specializes in customized Difficult Conversations, Crucial Conversations or Conflict Management Training, Email Etiquette Training, Leadership & New Leadership Development, Generational Differences, Time Management Training and other soft skills training solutions in Toronto and across Canada. Bruce is also an Executive Coach to a few select clients.

Bruce is an experienced motivational speaker in Toronto and has inspired audiences across Canada and within the USA and the UK. Bruce works hard to always make sure your training event, conference, retreat, or annual general meeting is a success.

My 8 Habits of Highly Empathic People

Have you ever felt you just needed someone to hear you – to listen to what you were feeling or experiencing and to not judge you, offer advice or problem solve? Sometimes all we need is for people to respect us enough to acknowledge that what we are experiencing is real to us even if they can’t relate to or fully understand what we are going through.

I recall a conversation with a great friend about a time when they were having a heated disagreement with their partner at home. My friend was not feeling they mattered or was being respected. During this disagreement their partner kept saying, “Just tell me what you want me to say.” My friend said this frustrated them even more. They felt disrespected because (in their words) “My feelings and needs were being treated like an equation, that whenever I said X that my partner should respond with Y and all would be fine”. My friend had not studied emotional intelligence or empathy, but they knew that their feelings were not linear and predictable. All my friend wanted was to trust that they mattered enough that they could share what they were experiencing with their partner and to feel respected and safe… even if their partner didn’t fully understand their feelings and needs.

The example I share with you is clearly a personal one, but it would not take much to imagine a similar workplace disagreement. Lets face it, workplaces are filled with policies, guidelines and rules. And while policies, guidelines and rules are important to healthy workspaces, so are things like trust, patience, care and respect to help everyone know they matter.

This month I’ve focused much of my writing on the topic of empathy. Some of my other recent posts are ‘The Importance of Empathy at Work’ and ‘How to Practice Empathy at Work’. I also have one called ‘The Role of Empathy During Difficult Conversations’ on the drawing board that I expect to publish soon. But for this article I felt it important to share an example of our need for empathy and to outline 8 habits of highly empathic people and how these habits can help build relationships based on positivity and respect because we are all capable of empathy and we are all in need of empathy.

My 8 Habits of Highly Empathic People

Habit 1: Empathetic people are intentionally curious about other people, places, how things are done… and why. They see life as a collection of experiences and that growth and change are what help us evolve, stay healthy and stay interesting.

Habit 2: Empathetic people openly embrace opportunities to authentically experience how other people live, eat, work, rest and play. They know that their needs, feelings, experiences, likes and dislikes are unique to themselves and that there is a great opportunity for them to both learn from other people as well as teach other people.

Habit 3. They spend time trying to understand their own emotions in order to understand their own motivation, communication style, actions and impact. They know that their greatest accomplishment is to know themselves and that as they learn about themselves they are able to build better relationships with other people.

Habit 4. They challenge their own prejudices and biases – looking instead for goals, needs, experiences and/or feelings we have in common. Empathic people realize that as humans, it is natural and often healthy to have prejudices and biases that help us quickly respond to opportunity or danger. But, empathic people also know there are many times when we have to overcome some of our learned prejudices and biases so we (and others) can grow and be amazing.

Habit 5: Empathic people embrace growth, imagination and new ideas. Empathic people also know that some of us have an insatiable appetite for growth and change while others (like my mother) approach change slowly… and all approaches are OK.

Habit 6. They do what they can to help other people feel safe and respected, especially if they don’t agree with them. Empathic people find time to be with other people without needing to understand them, change them or fix them.

Habit 7. Empathic people listen without needing to speak, problem solve or push their agenda. They watch body language and what someone may be saying, not saying and needing. Instead of commenting they ask open-ended questions or may just stay silent and present.

Habit 8: They spend time trying to understand the emotions others may be experiencing in order to understand their own motivation, communication style actions and impact. As part of their own learning cycle they see communication as a way to learn about and support other people as well as an opportunity to learn about and support themselves.

Lets just be clear there is a difference between kindness and empathy. For example:

• Getting a coffee for a coworker when you are going for one yourself is kindness.

• Getting a coffee for a coworker who is struggling to meet a deadline, loves their morning coffee and hasn’t had a chance to get away from their desk is kindness and empathy.

• Getting a coffee for your boss to gain favour is sucking up.

Why Studying Empathy Is Important

I believe studying empathy is important because it is what binds us together. As Jo Cox, a famous British Member of Parliament who fought for social justice and equality said, “We have more in common than what divides us”. Looking at what we have in common used to be easy, but in today’s global, digital, hyper-connected, hyper-disconnected, instantaneous and often competitive world, it is easy to only see what is different and separates us.

Empathy helps build trust and respect. And even when this process is slow, when we strive to understand and trust each other we are more likely to work together to find collaborative, mutually beneficial, Win-Win solutions. The alternative is Win-Lose, and why should we settle for Win-Lose when Win-Win is an option?

Studying empathy is important because it is in decline. A study by the University of Michigan Institute for Social Research combined the results of 72 different studies between 1979 and 2009. Using meta-analysis researcher Sara Konrath found that participants in 2009 were 40% less empathetic than participants in 1979, and the steepest decline in empathy took place over the last decade.

In our world today we are often disconnected from those around us. This starts early as more and more children are entertained and communicate almost exclusively using smart phones and smart pads instead of watching and engaging with people around them. Just the other day I was in a restaurant and a small child around 3-years old was consumed with playing a game on a tablet while their parents ignored them and talked among themselves. How is that child going to learn how to recognize feelings (their own and others) and then also learn how to express and manage them when they are shut off during their most impressionable time of their lives? I recall when I was young my parents would not even allow the TV or radio to be on during a meal which in retrospect I am very grateful.

Conclusion

I’d like to leave you with one final thought. Empathy is like a muscle; sometimes situations are so familiar like when we pick up a glass we don’t even realize we are using our strength. But often we find ourselves needing a bit more strength to lift heavy things or a delicate touch when dealing with something fragile. When it comes to empathy, many of us are good with the average please and thank you, but more often than we forget we need to pay attention to our emotional strength. Perhaps it will be an argument with our partner or it will be discussing a difference of opinion with coworkers; whatever the situations are, these are times when our previous investment into understanding and expressing our empathy ‘muscle’ will be important.

In those cases, I hope that following these habits of highly empathic people can help you exercise your empathy and keep in mind how to keep trust, patience, care and respect in mind.

Thank you for reading about my 8 habits of highly empathic people.

Bruce

Other articles in this series include:

• The Importance of Empathy at Work

• How to Practice Empathy at Work

• Practicing Empathy During & After the Covid-19 Pandemic

• The Role of Empathy During Difficult Conversations at Work
  

About Bruce and Bruce Mayhew Consulting.

Bruce is Corporate Trainer, Keynote Speaker and Executive Coach.

Bruce Mayhew Consulting specializes in customized Difficult Conversations, Crucial Conversations or Conflict Management Training, Email Etiquette Training, Leadership & New Leadership Development, Generational Differences, Time Management Training and other soft skills training solutions in Toronto and across Canada. Bruce is also an Executive Coach to a few select clients.

Bruce is an experienced motivational speaker in Toronto and has inspired audiences across Canada and within the USA and the UK. Bruce works hard to always make sure your training event, conference, retreat, or annual general meeting is a success.

How to Practice Empathy at Work

Some people are naturally more empathic than others

Generally, we begin to develop our empathic skills when we are children by observing and learning from our family, communities, coaches, mentors, teachers and entertainment. When we mirror these behaviours we are rewarded (often with praise and attention) which further locks our understanding and comfort exhibiting these behaviours. During this process we usually also gain an ability to recognize empathic behaviours in others. The same goes when we practice empathy at work. When we are rewarded we repeat behaviours – both good and bad. So, in order to practice empathy at work we have to have leaders, coworkers and even suppliers and customers who demonstrate empathy and we all (or at least most of us) have to reward each other when we recognize it.

Why Do We Struggle Accessing Empathy?

To experience empathy we have to get in touch with our emotions. It is natural our empathy may be underdeveloped if our awareness, understanding and practice of empathy has not been nurtured. In more extreme cases, some people suffer from Empathy Deficit Disorder (EDD), but for most of us we all have some level of empathy. Some of us are more empathetic than others and many of us have learned to me more empathetic or less empathetic in certain situations, like at work.

There are many reasons why we may struggle accessing empathy. Here are eight:

1. We may learn to not feel empathy for survival. Imagine a hostile family setting or workspace that we can’t leave because of financial reasons. Knowingly or not, we may learn to not feel based for survival. Unfortunately, shutting down in one space often impacts all the other spaces we exist.

2. People who have an empathy impairment may be antisocial or have a narcissistic personality, autism or schizophrenia. Another reason people demonstrate low levels of empathy is that they may have been raised in families that avoided their feelings and even condemned others for feeling emotions. Some people have learned to shut down their feelings early in their lives to such a degree that they can’t even recognize or name their own feelings, and if we can’t recognize our own feelings we certainly can’t feel empathy for what other people are feeling, needing or experiencing.

   Whatever the reason, people who lack empathy are often disconnected from themselves and the people around them. They may not even aware of their disconnect and that something important is missing. In most cases these people need professional support to learn to connect with their emotions.

3. Some businesspeople may wrongly have learned that empathy makes them weak or has no place in business / at work.

4. In our personal lives some people may push away empathy and vulnerability in relationships in order to protect themselves because they have been hurt in the past.

5. Some people may believe that if the empathize with someone that means they agree. (It does not).

6. Some people may have learned that showing empathy means they are weak.

7. Some people avoid empathy so that they can avoid dealing with their own fears and emotions that may cause them pain. Truth is, it is likely that those unprocessed feelings are causing them pain anyway. Again, the best way to learn to safely connect with their emotions is to get professional support.

8. Some people may believe empathy also means we share an unhealthy or inappropriate intimacy.

Empathy Is A Teachable Skill. How We Can Build And Practice Empathy At Work

Yes, we can learn to be more empathetic over time. This change process is called Neuro plasticity – the creation of new brain patterns. Neuro plasticity is like a reset – the more we change practice the more new habits become new reflexes. And, as I mentioned earlier, in the most difficult cases the best way to learn to safely connect with emotions will likely mean getting professional support.

The same way that great leaders become great by studying leadership techniques, learning and practicing, same goes for empathy. In most adult cases, learning to cultivate empathy and create new brain patterns is possible only when the individual is willing to change. We should also recognize that while supportive people and environments help us cultivate our empathy, angry and disconnected people and environments can weaken our ability to access our own empathy.

As A Leader… Helping Your Team or Team Member Practice Empathy At Work

As a leader I recommend the following two-step approach to helping your team or a member of your team be more empathetic.

Step 1.

The approach to teaching empathy often is customized depending on the person’s motivation and personal style and their environment / culture. In all circumstances, appreciation, positive rewards and recognition are also strongly encouraged as a core element to help individuals feel good about the empathetic choices they are making.

Whether in a personal or business space steps all related to manage each other’s expectations:

1. Share with them what behaviours are expected and not expected. Whether it is a technical skill or a soft skill, people can’t do what you expect if they don’t know what you expect.

2. Share why the behaviours that are expected and why they are important to the family and/or company as well as themselves. We all have greater motivation when we know the benefit (the why) our efforts are important and how we are making a difference.

3. Begin with empathy experiences that will resonate with their own goals and personal motivators. For example, if they are motivated by being seen as an expert in an area or by knowing they have contributed / added to a project, point out how you demonstrate empathy as a reward.

4. Be careful with what is considered ‘constructive feedback’. In time this will be a useful tool, but in the early stages it may feel demotivating. Instead, in the early stages focus far more on progress made while still acknowledging room for further development. Once individuals experienced success and gained some confidence in the process and their ability… and trust you, constructive feedback can be included. It may also be helpful to use a hypothetical example of how to demonstrate empathy when someone is falling short of expectations. This may provide some clarity without having to impact potential fears until their confidence or trust improves.

Step 2.

Learn to use / deepen your empathy. Your brain has neuroplasticity, it changes based on you repeating actions and / or though patterns and eventually they become routine, easy to access or easy to do. To learn how to be more empathetic, use your body to help your mind.

1. Listen with empathy. Put yourself in their shoes. Imagine what it would be like to have experienced what they are experiencing… or perhaps remember a time when you have felt like they feel… even if the circumstances are different.

   1. Listen more than you talk – listen attentively. Don’t think about what you will say.

   2. Ask open ended questions like “Tell me more”

   3. Notice how you are feeling – the first step in self-regulating. The second step is to ask “Is what I’m feeling helpful? How do I want to respond? Should I respond? What will be helpful? Will being quiet be what they really need now?

   4. Imagine how they might be feeling. Name the feelings. “They are angry”, “They are feeling they don’t matter” etc.

      1. Discuss how you would feel if you felt that. Would you be motivated or demotivated? What would you do in the short and long term

      2. Discuss the feelings they might be having. Would they be motivated or demotivated? How might they act in the short and long term.

2. Afterwards, explore what you learned about yourself and about them.  Where did you empathize? How did it go?  What went well? What might you do a bit differently next time?

As An Individual… Helping Yourself Practice Empathy At Work

If you are trying to help yourself fine-tune your empathy, I have a few recommendations to help you become more empathetic.

1. Do not try to change everything all at once. One of the first steps in this process is recognition of feelings and emotions within ourselves.

2. Don’t start on something that is going to be most difficult for you to change.

3. Do try to change something that is going to have meaningful, noticeable impact so you can feel a win, those around you can notice your effort and change and your efforts will make a difference.

Example: Perhaps start with offering greater recognition and being a mindful listener, but when it comes to having difficult conversations, bring support to those discussions. See growth as one step at a time and that eventually you will be prepared to handle difficult conversations on your own.

Conclusion

The more experiences we have feeling and learning about emotions – especially as youngsters, the more capable at managing our own emotions and being able to correctly recognize and relate to those emotions in other. As adults it can be a longer process but learning how to be more empathetic starts with recognizing the need and practicing empathy.

Let me leave you with one quick discussion of what not to do if you want to be more empathetic.

1. Don’t invalidate other persons feelings.

2. Don’t tell others how they should or should not feel (You shouldn’t think that, you should be grateful).

3. Don’t one-up them, “I know how you feel” or “You think that is big, listen to what happened to me”.

Thank you for reading about how to practice empathy at work.

Bruce

Other articles in this series include:

• The Importance of Empathy at Work

• 8 Habits of Highly Empathic People

• Practicing Empathy During & After the Covid-19 Pandemic

• The Role of Empathy During Difficult Conversations at Work

About Bruce and Bruce Mayhew Consulting.

Bruce is Corporate Trainer, Keynote Speaker and Executive Coach.

Bruce Mayhew Consulting specializes in customized Difficult Conversations, Crucial Conversations or Conflict Management Training, Email Etiquette Training, Leadership & New Leadership Development, Generational Differences, Time Management Training and other soft skills training solutions in Toronto and across Canada. Bruce is also an Executive Coach to a few select clients.

Bruce is an experienced motivational speaker in Toronto and has inspired audiences across Canada and within the USA and the UK. Bruce works hard to always make sure your training event, conference, retreat, or annual general meeting is a success.

The Importance of Empathy at Work

Empathy, trust, being supportive and having perspective are four attributes great leaders have. As Simon Sinek said in his keynote at the Live2Lead event in 2016, “Great leadership is not about being in charge, it’s about taking care of the people in their charge. Great leaders go through a transition from being responsible for the job and become responsible for the people who are responsible for the job.” Sinek continues, “One problem is we are suffering from business theories left over from the 80’s, one being the concept of shareholder supremacy.” Shareholder supremacy is when leaders are focused on meeting the quarterly and annual revenue targets and not on building a caring, trusting, supportive environment where employees are proud, can do their best work and are loyal. As Sinek says, “Shareholder supremacy is a theory that is bad for people and bad for business.” When leaders only focus on shareholder value and their primary goal, they lose focus on “taking care of the people in their charge” says Sinek.

Today great leaders build a company that has the support of their employees and their customers as their primary goal by building an environment based on empathy, trust and shared perspective. Great leaders and great companies help each member of their team embrace purpose while also aligning business goals with individual goals. When employees business goals are supported, great things happen; creativity is high, productivity is high, solutions are responsive and appropriate, clients and suppliers are happy, brand reputation goes up, costs and expenses go down, turnover goes down.

What Exactly Is Empathy?

Empathy is being present with our self and with other people. A common description is that it is about being able to put yourself in the other persons shoes; to imagine what emotion they are experiencing and what it is like for them. Empathy is an acknowledgement (not agreement) of the other person and what they may be feeling / needing / believing. In times of creativity or disagreement empathetic people listen to what other people are saying, feeling and needing without judgement and without trying to influence what the other people are feeling, believing or needing.

Empathy is an interpersonal skill, a soft skill that is part of a person’s Emotional Intelligence (EI) or Emotional Quotient (EQ) (same thing, different name). In a professional setting, great leaders know that what will work for person A will be different than what will work for person B. Great leaders use skills like active listening and empathy to learn about each person in their charge so they can build trust and find that important balance between individual needs and company needs. In other words, a balance between empathy, trust and perspective. 

Many people incorrectly think empathy is about being nice and doing unto others as you would have them do unto you. It is far more than that. As George Bernard Shaw said, “Do not do unto others as you would have them do unto you—they might have different tastes.” Empathy is about discovering those tastes. It is about being patient, respectful, thoughtful and trustworthy.

There are three types of empathy 1) Cognitive Empathy (a desire to understand), 2) Emotional Empathy (a desire to feel), 3) Compassionate Empathy, (a desire to help). For now, let’s focus only on Emotional Empathy and Cognitive Empathy:

• Emotional Empathy – unconscious empathy. Empathy that evokes behaviours we have learned (often as children), and that are natural / instinctive for us. They demonstrate as second nature to us and likely considered one of our personal values.

• Cognitive Empathy – empathy we deliberately turn on and turn off when we feel the need.

To be high on the EI / IQ scale, we use both. To really be ‘ON’ and with someone we have to choose to add Cognitive empathy to our situation to further support emotional empathy.

Empathy should not be confused with Mindfulness, but they are related, like cousins. Mindfulness is about “Paying attention, on purpose, without judgement”, Jon Kabat-Zinn. In contrast, Dr. Leslie S Greenberg shares a formal definition of empathy (which he calls empathic attunement) in his latest book called Changing Emotion with Emotion. Greenburg writes, “Empathic attunement to affect involves a kinesthetic and emotional sensing of another’s inner world, knowing their rhythm, feeling and experiencing by metaphorically being in their skin.”

Why is Empathy at Work Important?

People are attracted to people and to places that respect them and make them feel respected and safe.

When we are treated poorly and we don’t feel others trust us, it is unlikely we will trust the other person or people; we will protect our vulnerability. Both in a personal and professional setting, if you don’t trust someone else, it is unlikely you would be able to say, “I screwed up, I made a mistake, I don’t agree, or I am worried.” Another way common way many of us protect our vulnerability is to hold back on our creativity and new ideas. Instead, everyone plays it safe – hides and protects themselves.

When we demonstrate empathy, the other person / persons recognize we are showing them attention which is a validating feeling that they matter. When we feel we matter and also feel safe and respected and trusted, we can continue to have a supportive, productive relationship and work together even when we disagree; this is where we will be willingly open to find a compromise.

On an individual level, being an empathetic person (demonstrating empathy) can also make you and me happier. In an experiment, Daniel Goleman, a leader in EI walked through New York for 50 blocks. As he passed people… stressed out New Yorkers… he offered a positive greeting, sending out love and kindness. As it says in his Washington post article the result of this experiment is that he felt joy, a calming, pleasing, intrinsic reward he gave himself.

Conclusion

Empathy plays a significant role in getting the best from the people in our charge. A helpful mindset is to think, ‘how do I help my people be their best’ vs ‘how do I get the most out of my people’. The difference is subtle, but it is important.

I have one suggestion as you may explore your own relationship with empathy. Have people you let your guard down with and who you can be yourself; be able to give and receive empathy. It is always important for us to be able to freely connect with our emotions and to practice connecting with others around us. The alternative is that we can fall out of practice, especially if we live and/or work in a space that has little to no empathy. And in those cases where empathy is limited, do your very best to not close yourself off or begin reflecting the same unhealthy communication and emotional intelligence as those around you.

Thank you for reading about the importance of empathy at work… and everywhere else.

You may also be interested in reading my post, ‘How to Practice Empathy at Work’.

Bruce

Other articles in this series include:

• How to Practice Empathy at Work

• 8 Habits of Highly Empathic People

• Practicing Empathy During & After the Covid-19 Pandemic

• The Role of Empathy During Difficult Conversations at Work

About Bruce and Bruce Mayhew Consulting.

Bruce is Corporate Trainer, Keynote Speaker and Executive Coach.

Bruce Mayhew Consulting specializes in customized Difficult Conversations, Crucial Conversations or Conflict Management Training, Email Etiquette Training, Leadership & New Leadership Development, Generational Differences, Time Management Training and other soft skills training solutions in Toronto and across Canada. Bruce is also an Executive Coach to a few select clients.

Bruce is an experienced motivational speaker in Toronto and has inspired audiences across Canada and within the USA and the UK. Bruce works hard to always make sure your training event, conference, retreat, or annual general meeting is a success.

How To Eliminate Rude, Bossy & Passive Aggressive Email Tone

Most of us don’t mean to write rude, bossy and passive aggressive email, but it happens.

Thankfully there are easy ways to eliminate rude, bossy and passive aggressive email tone and instead use our email and text messages to build high-quality and highly productive relationships.

Tone is one of the most important parts of our email or text messages. Why? Because tone influences what our readers understand and how they feel about us. Our tone also influences our readers motivation to do what we are asking. We choose to be respectful, thoughtful and considerate… or not.

We often don’t take a moment to consider if we are writing rude, bossy and passive aggressive email and text message. Unfortunately, by not investing those few seconds, the compounding impact of all of our messages likely is having a negative impact on our personal and professional reputation not to mention increased stress and even lower productivity for everyone.

We choose the type of relationships we have

There are two kinds of relationships we choose have with others. We choose to have trusting, respectful, thoughtful and mutually beneficial relationships, or we choose to build frustrating, rude and stressful relationships.

Respect, appreciation and being treated with kindness are important building blocks of loyal work relationships. You know from your own experience that when you feel respected and appreciated you will usually make sure you do your very best, go the extra mile and even go our of your way to work with that other person. Alternatively, when we feel disrespected, even the most capable and creative of us will often deliver a ‘Meets Expectations’ performance and have a ‘Do what I’m asked – nothing more’ attitude. For this reason (and others), a bossy or aggressive writer doesn’t only cause stress and frustration for others when they write disrespectful, rude and/or passive aggressive messages; they also create stress and frustration for themselves.

So, how can you keep your messages from sounding rude, bossy, self-important, disrespectful and passive aggressive?

1.     Be polite.

People deserve to feel respected even if they are getting a paycheque. I don’t mean waste time with lots of social niceties. In fact, getting to the point is critical and something everyone prefers.

Being polite and respectful is one of the top values people say they appreciate in others. So, this means use words like Hi, Hello, Please and Thank You. It’s natural and polite to walk into someone’s office or call them on the phone and say, “Hi Bruce”. So why not when we email?

For example, if you were to receive the following message – especially if it was unexpected, you could easily interpret it as rude, bossy and disrespectful.

“What is the pricing on the XYZ account and when is the renewal date?”

This next version isn’t perfect, but it does sound less aggressive, more polite and more respectful… just by saying Hi, using their name and saying thanks.

“Hi Jessy,

What is the pricing on the XYZ account and when is the renewal date?

Thanks”

The one variation on this rule is if you and I write to each-other all day long. In this case, as long as you and I have talked – literally talked and agree that saying “Hi” and “thanks, isn’t necessary, then it is OK to drop it (but it may still be nice to add ‘Hi Bruce, hope you had a great weekend” at the end of our first email on a Monday morning).

2.     Manage other peoples expectations… and our own expectations.

There is nothing worse than interrupting what you are doing or rescheduling a meet because your boss sent you what sounds like an urgent request, only to find out when you deliver it that they didn’t need it for a day or two… or three. It often leaves us feeling manipulated and that our bosses don’t respect us and the time we dedicate to scheduling our commitments.

The solution is to be crystal clear and always include:

• What you need (likely you already do this)

• When you need it (helps others prioritize their schedule)

• Why you need it (helps others prioritize and often helps them determine how to format what they send to you)

• What you understand (helps everyone be clear about what each of us understand)

• What you will do (helps us not duplicate work… or worse yet miss something that needs to be done)

Using the example from point #1, the following is an even better way to build trusting, respectful, mutually beneficial relationships within a short message while we also manage other peoples expectations… and our own.

“Hi Jessy,

Please let me know by 10AM tomorrow the pricing on the XYZ account and when the renewal date is so I can include it in the proposal that is due at noon. If you need additional resources please let me know.

Thanks.”

The added benefit of the approach of this short, two-sentence email is that besides being polite, it tells Jessy what you need, when you need it and why it is important you get it by 10AM. It clearly manages Jessy’s expectations and your own. And, while you could eliminate the second sentence and still be OK, I do like it because it gives Jessy some control because it provides an opportunity to let you know if they need additional support. 

3.     Let someone know when they did a good job.

Again, you may be emailing or texting someone you pay, but everyone wants to know the work they are doing is important and they made a difference. So consider adding a line like “Those are exactly the numbers I needed.” Or “That presentation deck looks great”.

Be assured I am not recommending we praise others every time they do something, but every once in a while I urge you to recognize their work. Your 5-second investment from time to time will create positive energy and goodwill that cannot be measured.   

4.     Remember you are writing to someone else.

Most of us write as if we are writing to ourselves – with our own priorities, needs and experience but even if we are working in the same department it is likely that our priorities are different.

Example 1. Your priority may be to get a marketing forecast out by end of week, while mine is to balance my advertising spend for one of our biggest clients.

Example 2. You may have lots of industry experience and knowledge while I may be new or from a different department so don’t understand all that is involved and who to include when you ask for a ‘Agile Project Forecast’.

Example 3. Your ‘quick question’ may not have a ‘quick answer’. You may think the answer is simple, but I need to organize input from three different departments to get you the answer.

So when you are writing to someone else always try to be aware of the other peoples experience, understanding of industry language and priorities. And as I mentioned above, be sure to consider manage expectations as outlined in point 2 including providing others an opportunity to ask questions or give you feedback.

5.     Keep from sounding passive aggressive.

So far we’ve talked a lot about tone, so now lets focus in on passive aggressive messages.

I have a relative who is the queen of passive aggressive. She always seems to have an alternative motive or double meaning. The sad part is even when she isn’t being passive aggressive the rest of the family are wondering “What does she really mean?” or “What does she really want?” That is not the reputation you want to build for yourself.

Sounding passive aggressive is a bit habit forming; some people do it without even realizing it. And, expecting certain people to be passive aggressive is also habit forming. For example, if I expect you to be passive aggressive – or even rude or bossy, unless you are really careful I will always interpret your messages that way. Fortunately, people can unlearn bad habits and can rebuild their reputation.

The best way to avoid sounding passive aggressive is to re-read your messages. Ask yourself, if you were to receive it, would you be taken back? If you have the slightest feeling it is, rewrite.

That said, here are a few of my favourite passive aggressive approaches to avoid.

A: Stop asking the same question over and over. Just because you want a different answer, asking me again and again isn’t going to change reality.

B: “As per my last email”. You can hear the writers’ attitude. Perhaps it is frustration in repeating themselves over and over… or perhaps they are angry about something and someone else… but if you write it, know it will likely negatively impact your relationship with that person and perhaps others who see that email.

C: “No doubt you are aware”. This is about as blatantly passive aggressive as you can get. If someone missed something it’s right to bring their attention to it but, you don’t have to be insulting – even if they did overlook it on purpose. Remember, other people may read your message at some point and not know the whole story.

D: “For future reference” can be interpreted in many ways. Often, it means “don’t bother me again when the solution is obvious if you gave it a second of thought or did your job.” It’s worth noting that what is obvious to you may not be to me. I may be in another department, new, under extremely tight deadlines or perhaps my boss is asking me to send this and I really wish I didn’t have to. So next time – do your own reputation a favour and leave out these three words. “Here is where you will find files on this topic,” is much more friendly than “For future reference, here is where you will find files on this topic,”.

E: “Thanks in advance” is one of my least favourite statements. For the few times I receive it, it is usually followed by a request that is not my responsibility, the bottom of my priority list or junk email.

6.     When you ask for a meeting, be prompt with the start and stop time.

I know this doesn’t have anything to do with tone in writing; unfortunately running over timelines happens all too often, causing major frustration with employees, coworkers and suppliers. It is also passive aggressive behaviour so I thought I would include it.

Nowadays many of us have back to back online meetings using Zoom or Microsoft Teams. We go directly from one meeting to another with no break. Showing respect for others means we start meetings on time. It also means we end meetings on time… or early (imagine that). If we are a meeting organizer or presenter and force 10 coworkers and other department heads to wait for us because we are 5-minutes late, that means we just cost our company 50-minutes of productivity. If this happens routinely we build a reputation as selfish, entitled, disorganized and even unaware of how hard others are working.

Key time management and reputation saving tip is to start meetings on time and be sure to cover the critical elements first. Then, if there is time go ahead and discuss topics that are not part of the agenda and meeting purpose. Too often the reverse is done and the real meeting agenda is squeezed into the last 10-minutes and we find we are late for our next meeting.

Whether you make $30,000 or $300,000 respect the people you work with and yourself.

Conclusion:

Turning the table for a moment, when you receive a rude, bossy and passive aggressive email or text message, there is always a way to reply and not join their club. Unfortunately, when we respond using passive aggressive phrases, that will reflect back on us. Remember, it’s all about your brand and your reputation; if someone is being ridiculous, foolish or unprofessional that is all about them and their reputation. And, when we keep ourselves under control and professional – especially at those times – people will notice… and that is a good thing for us.

For everyone else, it’s always important to remember that tone is always one of the most important parts of our email or text messages. The examples I’ve shared here are some of the most effective ways to eliminate rude, bossy and passive aggressive email tone from our messages and instead use our email and text messages to build trusting, respectful, mutually beneficial relationships.

So, as you move forward writing email and text messages I hope you routinely take a moment to consider how others will interpret your messages. The few seconds you spend getting into the habit of writing great messages will save you countless time and help you build a personal and professional reputation you can be proud of.

Thank you for reading about how to eliminate rude, bossy and passive aggressive email tone from your writing.

Bruce

About Bruce and Bruce Mayhew Consulting.

Bruce is Corporate Trainer, Keynote Speaker and Executive Coach.

Bruce Mayhew Consulting specializes in customized Difficult Conversations, Crucial Conversations or Conflict Management Training, Email Etiquette Training, Leadership & New Leadership Development, Generational Differences, Time Management Training and other soft skills training solutions in Toronto and across Canada. Bruce is also an Executive Coach to a few select clients.

Bruce is an experienced motivational speaker in Toronto and has inspired audiences across Canada and within the USA and the UK. Bruce works hard to always make sure your training event, conference, retreat, or annual general meeting is a success.