The Best Kind of Belonging

We all want to belong somewhere and to be part of something important. This is a good thing.

The challenge comes when we change how we act in order to fit in – seeking approval in a way that my dad would say is, “Going against our grain”. That never really works. Instead of belonging we are constantly making small changes / adjustments along the way to make sure we are behaving how we think we need to behave. We are always on guard, feeling stress and wondering when our charade will be discovered.

Yes, change is inevitable, change is even important. Growing and evolving is part of life; it’s exciting. But, being true to ourselves is also important. Being true to ourselves and growing / evolving is different than changing who we ‘appear’ to be in order to fit in. Growing is about getting bigger, exploring, finding new parts of ourselves and making parts we already know of even better. Fitting in is about getting smaller and ignoring parts of us that are important to our true nature. As Author Roy T Bennett said, “It’s only after you’ve stepped outside of your comfort zone that you begin to change, grow and transform.”

Because belonging means we have to first be true to ourselves, belonging means that sometimes we have to stand alone. The beauty is that when we get to know ourselves we also get to decide… to choose when we don’t fit in. We can be comfortable standing alone because we know why we are standing alone. Knowing why is an incredibly important part of understanding; it gives clarity, focus and strength. In this case, standing alone is a demonstration of confidence, not defiance or fear; we are not diminishing the value some one or some team by choosing to stand alone. Quite the opposite should be true. While we choose to stand alone or go in another direction we must keep the communication channels open with others, we owe that respect to ourselves and to others.

In our personal lives, the concept of belonging often starts the moment we meet someone. We know quickly if we feel we have anything in common – often because we intuitively pick up on key markers like other peoples values, integrity and ethical principles. If we don’t have anything in common, even the most superficial conversations can feel difficult and emotionally draining. Our response is that we let go of (or minimize) these relationships as quickly as we can.

In our professional lives, the same kind of emotional challenges we have in our personal lives happen, and those challenges make work easy and enjoyable or difficult and draining. And, when ‘difficult and draining’ happens, the overall energy, trust and loyalty of each person on the team begins to degrade. You know this – we’ve all experienced it when our values and ethical principles are not in-line with someone we work with.

The best kind of belonging is not something others give to us, it comes from within. True belonging is a gift to ourselves. When we belong 100 percent to ourselves, that is when we are able to belong to a tribe and know we can trust that bond… even if that tribe consists of only one other person. The kind of trust I call ‘Earned Trust’. For me, that is the best part of belonging because even though some people may think we are weird we can be comfortable being authentic. In addition, the people around us can always trust we will uphold our reputation and our values, and we will give our best, no matter how our relationship is defined.

As I mention above, deep trust lives within the best kind of belonging - the kind of trust that is earned over time, trust we can count on and trust that can count on us. To put a fine point on this, lets take a look at what I mean when I say earned trust.

• Earned Trust: Sharing something I value - putting it or me at risk (my reputation or career for example), because over time I have learned to believe that the thing I value… and me as an individual are safe with you and respected.

• Distrust: Keeping something I value private - guarding it (my experience, connections or creativity for example), because I don't believe the thing I value… and me as an individual are safe with you or respected.

Thank you for reading The Best Kind of Belonging. I look forward to your thoughts, comments, stories.

NOTE: Because hiring the right people is so important as part of my leadership series I teach Behaviour Event Interview best practices.

About Bruce and Bruce Mayhew Consulting.

Bruce is Corporate Trainer, Keynote Speaker and Executive Coach.

Bruce Mayhew Consulting specializes in customized Difficult Conversations, Crucial Conversations or Conflict Management Training, Email Etiquette Training, Leadership & New Leadership Development, Generational Differences, Time Management Training and other soft skills training solutions in Toronto and across Canada. Bruce is also an Executive Coach to a few select clients.

Bruce is an experienced motivational speaker in Toronto and has inspired audiences across Canada and within the USA and the UK. Bruce works hard to always make sure your training event, conference, retreat, or annual general meeting is a success.

Empathy at Work During the Covid Pandemic and Moving Forward

An exploration of empathy is an important opportunity as we all push through the Covid-19 pandemic. Learning what other people may be feeling, believing and/or needing during this difficult time helps us learn about ourselves and what is important to us. Practicing empathy also helps us be strong, recover and even emerge out of a bad experience with greater awareness and resilience. It helps us be the people we want to be and build the future we deserve.

We can all agree the Covid pandemic has us under greater stress. If we’ve been able to continue working during the pandemic we’ve likely either separated from others with plexiglass and masks (as important as they are), or we’ve fallen into a pattern of back-to-back, highly efficient Zoom calls and even more email than ever. Covid also has added stress to our family lives, sometimes keeping family members apart while keeping others together 24/7 for weeks and even months on end. Even grocery shopping and other simple tasks has become complicated. And, worst of all, Covid has taken friends and loved ones away from many of us.

At this stage of the pandemic most of us are exhausted, less connected and are quite simply out of practice at how to be social and build personal connections, both of which help us have trusting, respectful and mutually beneficial relationships.

Finding the silver lining

We can give our shared distress some meaning. Nelson Mandela said, “Everyone can rise above their circumstances and achieve success if they are dedicated to and passionate about what they do.” As we rebuild, we have an opportunity to reflect on what we are learning about ourselves, our communities and our workspaces. We also get to decide how we want to move forward as we celebrate our strength and resilience.

Even though we may not be fully out of the Covid pandemic, let’s not wait to take a positive next step.

In our workspaces each of us (from the brand new employee to the veteran leader) have an opportunity to champion healthy workspaces and build healthy teams and healthy companies. All of us can take on a leadership role to create empathetic workspaces built upon shared respect and trust… even if it is within our own bubble, one positive step will lead to another and will influence someone else. Another Nelson Mandela quote seems appropriate here, “As we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same”.

Opportunities to practice empathy and the benefits

Empathy is at our fingertips, all we have to do is choose to use it. And best of all, it is free of charge and very effective.

Here are 6 of my favourite opportunities to practice empathy:

1. Explore our personal and shared values… and what they mean

2. Be open to learn about each other and from each other (I love hearing other peoples stories)

3. Strive to develop greater team communication and inclusion

4. Support greater collaboration, commitment, creativity and innovation

5. Support greater work life balance

6. Be very open to continuous change (all of these opportunities will require an element of change)

By following the above mentioned opportunities to practice empathy, in addition to greater workplace harmony we all can experience the following Win-Win benefits for ourselves, our friends/coworkers and our company (I think this is amazing, especially since empathy costs nothing):

• Less burnout

• Greater satisfaction, pride and sense of purpose in our work (for us and for others)

• Greater productivity

• Lower turnover

• Greater customer experiences and customer satisfaction

Using empathy at work and other places

Empathy is at the heart of feeling respect for ourselves and others. When we feel respected it meets our individual need to feel valued for our contribution. There are so many ways to explore empathy both within ourselves and outwardly as we all push through the Covid-19 pandemic. In addition to the 6 opportunities to practice empathy during the covid pandemic and moving forward that I mentioned above, here are 5 more described in a bit more detail.

• Make a conscious effort to use empathy to rebuild trusting and respectful relationships. Show the people you work with that you care about them by learning about them and listening to their stories with no judgement. And, if they have a challenge, don’t jump into solutions mode. Instead, pause and listen; be understanding. That might be all they need.

• Every once in a while, call a friend, family member or business connection to just to say hi – especially if you don’t need anything from them. Take a moment to sincerely ask how they are. This shows them you care about them as individuals.

• Be respectful, especially if their preferences and beliefs are different than your own. There are two types of respect that build trusting relationships; Earned Respect and Owed Respect.

  • Owed Respect is based on a sense of equally and everyone should experience it. If it is lacking there is often micromanaging, abuse of power, dismissiveness, passive aggressive behaviour.

  • Earned Respect is based on our individual accomplishments or qualities. We are recognized for our expertise and given opportunity to contribute and perhaps even lead when we are the subject matter expert. If it is lacking, we feel interchangeable and don’t get credit for our unique contribution and/or ideas.

• Be open to the idea that compromise is a source of strength, not weakness. Finding a shared solution does mean we learn about each others needs and therefore often take a bit more time. In workspaces shared solutions are often more impactful and more creative. And, because shared solutions are supported by multiple people and/or departments, respect, commitment and collaboration also increase… all because of compromise.

• Volunteer somewhere. Studies show that when we help other people we trigger our mesolimbic system, the part of our brain that is responsible for feelings of reward, pride and an increase in self-esteem. Volunteering also provides us opportunities to be in low stress situations, to do something good and to be around other like-minded people. All of this means we are able to practice our communication skills, build good bonds with new ‘friends’ and build even stronger bonds with existing friends and family. Overall, another Win-Win.

Conclusion

This is just a snapshot of how empathy provides a life-long opportunity to grow and become a better version of ourselves. As we emerge out of the Covid-19 pandemic we all have the opportunity to do so with greater awareness of who we want to be, how we want to act and who we want to be with and work with. All we have to do is begin to explore our potential.

Now more than ever lets remember to practice patience with ourselves and others and take this moment to explore how we have practiced empathy in the past and how we can ratchet it up a notch or two moving forward.

Thank you for reading about how to move forward as we all push through the Covid-19 pandemic.

Bruce

Other articles in this series include:

• The Importance of Empathy at Work

• How to Practice Empathy at Work

• 8 Habits of Highly Empathic People

• The Role of Empathy During Difficult Conversations at Work

About Bruce and Bruce Mayhew Consulting.

Bruce is Corporate Trainer, Keynote Speaker and Executive Coach.

Bruce Mayhew Consulting specializes in customized Difficult Conversations, Crucial Conversations or Conflict Management Training, Email Etiquette Training, Leadership & New Leadership Development, Generational Differences, Time Management Training and other soft skills training solutions in Toronto and across Canada. Bruce is also an Executive Coach to a few select clients.

Bruce is an experienced motivational speaker in Toronto and has inspired audiences across Canada and within the USA and the UK. Bruce works hard to always make sure your training event, conference, retreat, or annual general meeting is a success.

My 8 Habits of Highly Empathic People

Have you ever felt you just needed someone to hear you – to listen to what you were feeling or experiencing and to not judge you, offer advice or problem solve? Sometimes all we need is for people to respect us enough to acknowledge that what we are experiencing is real to us even if they can’t relate to or fully understand what we are going through.

I recall a conversation with a great friend about a time when they were having a heated disagreement with their partner at home. My friend was not feeling they mattered or was being respected. During this disagreement their partner kept saying, “Just tell me what you want me to say.” My friend said this frustrated them even more. They felt disrespected because (in their words) “My feelings and needs were being treated like an equation, that whenever I said X that my partner should respond with Y and all would be fine”. My friend had not studied emotional intelligence or empathy, but they knew that their feelings were not linear and predictable. All my friend wanted was to trust that they mattered enough that they could share what they were experiencing with their partner and to feel respected and safe… even if their partner didn’t fully understand their feelings and needs.

The example I share with you is clearly a personal one, but it would not take much to imagine a similar workplace disagreement. Lets face it, workplaces are filled with policies, guidelines and rules. And while policies, guidelines and rules are important to healthy workspaces, so are things like trust, patience, care and respect to help everyone know they matter.

This month I’ve focused much of my writing on the topic of empathy. Some of my other recent posts are ‘The Importance of Empathy at Work’ and ‘How to Practice Empathy at Work’. I also have one called ‘The Role of Empathy During Difficult Conversations’ on the drawing board that I expect to publish soon. But for this article I felt it important to share an example of our need for empathy and to outline 8 habits of highly empathic people and how these habits can help build relationships based on positivity and respect because we are all capable of empathy and we are all in need of empathy.

My 8 Habits of Highly Empathic People

Habit 1: Empathetic people are intentionally curious about other people, places, how things are done… and why. They see life as a collection of experiences and that growth and change are what help us evolve, stay healthy and stay interesting.

Habit 2: Empathetic people openly embrace opportunities to authentically experience how other people live, eat, work, rest and play. They know that their needs, feelings, experiences, likes and dislikes are unique to themselves and that there is a great opportunity for them to both learn from other people as well as teach other people.

Habit 3. They spend time trying to understand their own emotions in order to understand their own motivation, communication style, actions and impact. They know that their greatest accomplishment is to know themselves and that as they learn about themselves they are able to build better relationships with other people.

Habit 4. They challenge their own prejudices and biases – looking instead for goals, needs, experiences and/or feelings we have in common. Empathic people realize that as humans, it is natural and often healthy to have prejudices and biases that help us quickly respond to opportunity or danger. But, empathic people also know there are many times when we have to overcome some of our learned prejudices and biases so we (and others) can grow and be amazing.

Habit 5: Empathic people embrace growth, imagination and new ideas. Empathic people also know that some of us have an insatiable appetite for growth and change while others (like my mother) approach change slowly… and all approaches are OK.

Habit 6. They do what they can to help other people feel safe and respected, especially if they don’t agree with them. Empathic people find time to be with other people without needing to understand them, change them or fix them.

Habit 7. Empathic people listen without needing to speak, problem solve or push their agenda. They watch body language and what someone may be saying, not saying and needing. Instead of commenting they ask open-ended questions or may just stay silent and present.

Habit 8: They spend time trying to understand the emotions others may be experiencing in order to understand their own motivation, communication style actions and impact. As part of their own learning cycle they see communication as a way to learn about and support other people as well as an opportunity to learn about and support themselves.

Lets just be clear there is a difference between kindness and empathy. For example:

• Getting a coffee for a coworker when you are going for one yourself is kindness.

• Getting a coffee for a coworker who is struggling to meet a deadline, loves their morning coffee and hasn’t had a chance to get away from their desk is kindness and empathy.

• Getting a coffee for your boss to gain favour is sucking up.

Why Studying Empathy Is Important

I believe studying empathy is important because it is what binds us together. As Jo Cox, a famous British Member of Parliament who fought for social justice and equality said, “We have more in common than what divides us”. Looking at what we have in common used to be easy, but in today’s global, digital, hyper-connected, hyper-disconnected, instantaneous and often competitive world, it is easy to only see what is different and separates us.

Empathy helps build trust and respect. And even when this process is slow, when we strive to understand and trust each other we are more likely to work together to find collaborative, mutually beneficial, Win-Win solutions. The alternative is Win-Lose, and why should we settle for Win-Lose when Win-Win is an option?

Studying empathy is important because it is in decline. A study by the University of Michigan Institute for Social Research combined the results of 72 different studies between 1979 and 2009. Using meta-analysis researcher Sara Konrath found that participants in 2009 were 40% less empathetic than participants in 1979, and the steepest decline in empathy took place over the last decade.

In our world today we are often disconnected from those around us. This starts early as more and more children are entertained and communicate almost exclusively using smart phones and smart pads instead of watching and engaging with people around them. Just the other day I was in a restaurant and a small child around 3-years old was consumed with playing a game on a tablet while their parents ignored them and talked among themselves. How is that child going to learn how to recognize feelings (their own and others) and then also learn how to express and manage them when they are shut off during their most impressionable time of their lives? I recall when I was young my parents would not even allow the TV or radio to be on during a meal which in retrospect I am very grateful.

Conclusion

I’d like to leave you with one final thought. Empathy is like a muscle; sometimes situations are so familiar like when we pick up a glass we don’t even realize we are using our strength. But often we find ourselves needing a bit more strength to lift heavy things or a delicate touch when dealing with something fragile. When it comes to empathy, many of us are good with the average please and thank you, but more often than we forget we need to pay attention to our emotional strength. Perhaps it will be an argument with our partner or it will be discussing a difference of opinion with coworkers; whatever the situations are, these are times when our previous investment into understanding and expressing our empathy ‘muscle’ will be important.

In those cases, I hope that following these habits of highly empathic people can help you exercise your empathy and keep in mind how to keep trust, patience, care and respect in mind.

Thank you for reading about my 8 habits of highly empathic people.

Bruce

Other articles in this series include:

• The Importance of Empathy at Work

• How to Practice Empathy at Work

• Practicing Empathy During & After the Covid-19 Pandemic

• The Role of Empathy During Difficult Conversations at Work
  

About Bruce and Bruce Mayhew Consulting.

Bruce is Corporate Trainer, Keynote Speaker and Executive Coach.

Bruce Mayhew Consulting specializes in customized Difficult Conversations, Crucial Conversations or Conflict Management Training, Email Etiquette Training, Leadership & New Leadership Development, Generational Differences, Time Management Training and other soft skills training solutions in Toronto and across Canada. Bruce is also an Executive Coach to a few select clients.

Bruce is an experienced motivational speaker in Toronto and has inspired audiences across Canada and within the USA and the UK. Bruce works hard to always make sure your training event, conference, retreat, or annual general meeting is a success.

How to Practice Empathy at Work

Some people are naturally more empathic than others

Generally, we begin to develop our empathic skills when we are children by observing and learning from our family, communities, coaches, mentors, teachers and entertainment. When we mirror these behaviours we are rewarded (often with praise and attention) which further locks our understanding and comfort exhibiting these behaviours. During this process we usually also gain an ability to recognize empathic behaviours in others. The same goes when we practice empathy at work. When we are rewarded we repeat behaviours – both good and bad. So, in order to practice empathy at work we have to have leaders, coworkers and even suppliers and customers who demonstrate empathy and we all (or at least most of us) have to reward each other when we recognize it.

Why Do We Struggle Accessing Empathy?

To experience empathy we have to get in touch with our emotions. It is natural our empathy may be underdeveloped if our awareness, understanding and practice of empathy has not been nurtured. In more extreme cases, some people suffer from Empathy Deficit Disorder (EDD), but for most of us we all have some level of empathy. Some of us are more empathetic than others and many of us have learned to me more empathetic or less empathetic in certain situations, like at work.

There are many reasons why we may struggle accessing empathy. Here are eight:

1. We may learn to not feel empathy for survival. Imagine a hostile family setting or workspace that we can’t leave because of financial reasons. Knowingly or not, we may learn to not feel based for survival. Unfortunately, shutting down in one space often impacts all the other spaces we exist.

2. People who have an empathy impairment may be antisocial or have a narcissistic personality, autism or schizophrenia. Another reason people demonstrate low levels of empathy is that they may have been raised in families that avoided their feelings and even condemned others for feeling emotions. Some people have learned to shut down their feelings early in their lives to such a degree that they can’t even recognize or name their own feelings, and if we can’t recognize our own feelings we certainly can’t feel empathy for what other people are feeling, needing or experiencing.

   Whatever the reason, people who lack empathy are often disconnected from themselves and the people around them. They may not even aware of their disconnect and that something important is missing. In most cases these people need professional support to learn to connect with their emotions.

3. Some businesspeople may wrongly have learned that empathy makes them weak or has no place in business / at work.

4. In our personal lives some people may push away empathy and vulnerability in relationships in order to protect themselves because they have been hurt in the past.

5. Some people may believe that if the empathize with someone that means they agree. (It does not).

6. Some people may have learned that showing empathy means they are weak.

7. Some people avoid empathy so that they can avoid dealing with their own fears and emotions that may cause them pain. Truth is, it is likely that those unprocessed feelings are causing them pain anyway. Again, the best way to learn to safely connect with their emotions is to get professional support.

8. Some people may believe empathy also means we share an unhealthy or inappropriate intimacy.

Empathy Is A Teachable Skill. How We Can Build And Practice Empathy At Work

Yes, we can learn to be more empathetic over time. This change process is called Neuro plasticity – the creation of new brain patterns. Neuro plasticity is like a reset – the more we change practice the more new habits become new reflexes. And, as I mentioned earlier, in the most difficult cases the best way to learn to safely connect with emotions will likely mean getting professional support.

The same way that great leaders become great by studying leadership techniques, learning and practicing, same goes for empathy. In most adult cases, learning to cultivate empathy and create new brain patterns is possible only when the individual is willing to change. We should also recognize that while supportive people and environments help us cultivate our empathy, angry and disconnected people and environments can weaken our ability to access our own empathy.

As A Leader… Helping Your Team or Team Member Practice Empathy At Work

As a leader I recommend the following two-step approach to helping your team or a member of your team be more empathetic.

Step 1.

The approach to teaching empathy often is customized depending on the person’s motivation and personal style and their environment / culture. In all circumstances, appreciation, positive rewards and recognition are also strongly encouraged as a core element to help individuals feel good about the empathetic choices they are making.

Whether in a personal or business space steps all related to manage each other’s expectations:

1. Share with them what behaviours are expected and not expected. Whether it is a technical skill or a soft skill, people can’t do what you expect if they don’t know what you expect.

2. Share why the behaviours that are expected and why they are important to the family and/or company as well as themselves. We all have greater motivation when we know the benefit (the why) our efforts are important and how we are making a difference.

3. Begin with empathy experiences that will resonate with their own goals and personal motivators. For example, if they are motivated by being seen as an expert in an area or by knowing they have contributed / added to a project, point out how you demonstrate empathy as a reward.

4. Be careful with what is considered ‘constructive feedback’. In time this will be a useful tool, but in the early stages it may feel demotivating. Instead, in the early stages focus far more on progress made while still acknowledging room for further development. Once individuals experienced success and gained some confidence in the process and their ability… and trust you, constructive feedback can be included. It may also be helpful to use a hypothetical example of how to demonstrate empathy when someone is falling short of expectations. This may provide some clarity without having to impact potential fears until their confidence or trust improves.

Step 2.

Learn to use / deepen your empathy. Your brain has neuroplasticity, it changes based on you repeating actions and / or though patterns and eventually they become routine, easy to access or easy to do. To learn how to be more empathetic, use your body to help your mind.

1. Listen with empathy. Put yourself in their shoes. Imagine what it would be like to have experienced what they are experiencing… or perhaps remember a time when you have felt like they feel… even if the circumstances are different.

   1. Listen more than you talk – listen attentively. Don’t think about what you will say.

   2. Ask open ended questions like “Tell me more”

   3. Notice how you are feeling – the first step in self-regulating. The second step is to ask “Is what I’m feeling helpful? How do I want to respond? Should I respond? What will be helpful? Will being quiet be what they really need now?

   4. Imagine how they might be feeling. Name the feelings. “They are angry”, “They are feeling they don’t matter” etc.

      1. Discuss how you would feel if you felt that. Would you be motivated or demotivated? What would you do in the short and long term

      2. Discuss the feelings they might be having. Would they be motivated or demotivated? How might they act in the short and long term.

2. Afterwards, explore what you learned about yourself and about them.  Where did you empathize? How did it go?  What went well? What might you do a bit differently next time?

As An Individual… Helping Yourself Practice Empathy At Work

If you are trying to help yourself fine-tune your empathy, I have a few recommendations to help you become more empathetic.

1. Do not try to change everything all at once. One of the first steps in this process is recognition of feelings and emotions within ourselves.

2. Don’t start on something that is going to be most difficult for you to change.

3. Do try to change something that is going to have meaningful, noticeable impact so you can feel a win, those around you can notice your effort and change and your efforts will make a difference.

Example: Perhaps start with offering greater recognition and being a mindful listener, but when it comes to having difficult conversations, bring support to those discussions. See growth as one step at a time and that eventually you will be prepared to handle difficult conversations on your own.

Conclusion

The more experiences we have feeling and learning about emotions – especially as youngsters, the more capable at managing our own emotions and being able to correctly recognize and relate to those emotions in other. As adults it can be a longer process but learning how to be more empathetic starts with recognizing the need and practicing empathy.

Let me leave you with one quick discussion of what not to do if you want to be more empathetic.

1. Don’t invalidate other persons feelings.

2. Don’t tell others how they should or should not feel (You shouldn’t think that, you should be grateful).

3. Don’t one-up them, “I know how you feel” or “You think that is big, listen to what happened to me”.

Thank you for reading about how to practice empathy at work.

Bruce

Other articles in this series include:

• The Importance of Empathy at Work

• 8 Habits of Highly Empathic People

• Practicing Empathy During & After the Covid-19 Pandemic

• The Role of Empathy During Difficult Conversations at Work

About Bruce and Bruce Mayhew Consulting.

Bruce is Corporate Trainer, Keynote Speaker and Executive Coach.

Bruce Mayhew Consulting specializes in customized Difficult Conversations, Crucial Conversations or Conflict Management Training, Email Etiquette Training, Leadership & New Leadership Development, Generational Differences, Time Management Training and other soft skills training solutions in Toronto and across Canada. Bruce is also an Executive Coach to a few select clients.

Bruce is an experienced motivational speaker in Toronto and has inspired audiences across Canada and within the USA and the UK. Bruce works hard to always make sure your training event, conference, retreat, or annual general meeting is a success.

The Importance of Empathy at Work

Empathy, trust, being supportive and having perspective are four attributes great leaders have. As Simon Sinek said in his keynote at the Live2Lead event in 2016, “Great leadership is not about being in charge, it’s about taking care of the people in their charge. Great leaders go through a transition from being responsible for the job and become responsible for the people who are responsible for the job.” Sinek continues, “One problem is we are suffering from business theories left over from the 80’s, one being the concept of shareholder supremacy.” Shareholder supremacy is when leaders are focused on meeting the quarterly and annual revenue targets and not on building a caring, trusting, supportive environment where employees are proud, can do their best work and are loyal. As Sinek says, “Shareholder supremacy is a theory that is bad for people and bad for business.” When leaders only focus on shareholder value and their primary goal, they lose focus on “taking care of the people in their charge” says Sinek.

Today great leaders build a company that has the support of their employees and their customers as their primary goal by building an environment based on empathy, trust and shared perspective. Great leaders and great companies help each member of their team embrace purpose while also aligning business goals with individual goals. When employees business goals are supported, great things happen; creativity is high, productivity is high, solutions are responsive and appropriate, clients and suppliers are happy, brand reputation goes up, costs and expenses go down, turnover goes down.

What Exactly Is Empathy?

Empathy is being present with our self and with other people. A common description is that it is about being able to put yourself in the other persons shoes; to imagine what emotion they are experiencing and what it is like for them. Empathy is an acknowledgement (not agreement) of the other person and what they may be feeling / needing / believing. In times of creativity or disagreement empathetic people listen to what other people are saying, feeling and needing without judgement and without trying to influence what the other people are feeling, believing or needing.

Empathy is an interpersonal skill, a soft skill that is part of a person’s Emotional Intelligence (EI) or Emotional Quotient (EQ) (same thing, different name). In a professional setting, great leaders know that what will work for person A will be different than what will work for person B. Great leaders use skills like active listening and empathy to learn about each person in their charge so they can build trust and find that important balance between individual needs and company needs. In other words, a balance between empathy, trust and perspective. 

Many people incorrectly think empathy is about being nice and doing unto others as you would have them do unto you. It is far more than that. As George Bernard Shaw said, “Do not do unto others as you would have them do unto you—they might have different tastes.” Empathy is about discovering those tastes. It is about being patient, respectful, thoughtful and trustworthy.

There are three types of empathy 1) Cognitive Empathy (a desire to understand), 2) Emotional Empathy (a desire to feel), 3) Compassionate Empathy, (a desire to help). For now, let’s focus only on Emotional Empathy and Cognitive Empathy:

• Emotional Empathy – unconscious empathy. Empathy that evokes behaviours we have learned (often as children), and that are natural / instinctive for us. They demonstrate as second nature to us and likely considered one of our personal values.

• Cognitive Empathy – empathy we deliberately turn on and turn off when we feel the need.

To be high on the EI / IQ scale, we use both. To really be ‘ON’ and with someone we have to choose to add Cognitive empathy to our situation to further support emotional empathy.

Empathy should not be confused with Mindfulness, but they are related, like cousins. Mindfulness is about “Paying attention, on purpose, without judgement”, Jon Kabat-Zinn. In contrast, Dr. Leslie S Greenberg shares a formal definition of empathy (which he calls empathic attunement) in his latest book called Changing Emotion with Emotion. Greenburg writes, “Empathic attunement to affect involves a kinesthetic and emotional sensing of another’s inner world, knowing their rhythm, feeling and experiencing by metaphorically being in their skin.”

Why is Empathy at Work Important?

People are attracted to people and to places that respect them and make them feel respected and safe.

When we are treated poorly and we don’t feel others trust us, it is unlikely we will trust the other person or people; we will protect our vulnerability. Both in a personal and professional setting, if you don’t trust someone else, it is unlikely you would be able to say, “I screwed up, I made a mistake, I don’t agree, or I am worried.” Another way common way many of us protect our vulnerability is to hold back on our creativity and new ideas. Instead, everyone plays it safe – hides and protects themselves.

When we demonstrate empathy, the other person / persons recognize we are showing them attention which is a validating feeling that they matter. When we feel we matter and also feel safe and respected and trusted, we can continue to have a supportive, productive relationship and work together even when we disagree; this is where we will be willingly open to find a compromise.

On an individual level, being an empathetic person (demonstrating empathy) can also make you and me happier. In an experiment, Daniel Goleman, a leader in EI walked through New York for 50 blocks. As he passed people… stressed out New Yorkers… he offered a positive greeting, sending out love and kindness. As it says in his Washington post article the result of this experiment is that he felt joy, a calming, pleasing, intrinsic reward he gave himself.

Conclusion

Empathy plays a significant role in getting the best from the people in our charge. A helpful mindset is to think, ‘how do I help my people be their best’ vs ‘how do I get the most out of my people’. The difference is subtle, but it is important.

I have one suggestion as you may explore your own relationship with empathy. Have people you let your guard down with and who you can be yourself; be able to give and receive empathy. It is always important for us to be able to freely connect with our emotions and to practice connecting with others around us. The alternative is that we can fall out of practice, especially if we live and/or work in a space that has little to no empathy. And in those cases where empathy is limited, do your very best to not close yourself off or begin reflecting the same unhealthy communication and emotional intelligence as those around you.

Thank you for reading about the importance of empathy at work… and everywhere else.

You may also be interested in reading my post, ‘How to Practice Empathy at Work’.

Bruce

Other articles in this series include:

• How to Practice Empathy at Work

• 8 Habits of Highly Empathic People

• Practicing Empathy During & After the Covid-19 Pandemic

• The Role of Empathy During Difficult Conversations at Work

About Bruce and Bruce Mayhew Consulting.

Bruce is Corporate Trainer, Keynote Speaker and Executive Coach.

Bruce Mayhew Consulting specializes in customized Difficult Conversations, Crucial Conversations or Conflict Management Training, Email Etiquette Training, Leadership & New Leadership Development, Generational Differences, Time Management Training and other soft skills training solutions in Toronto and across Canada. Bruce is also an Executive Coach to a few select clients.

Bruce is an experienced motivational speaker in Toronto and has inspired audiences across Canada and within the USA and the UK. Bruce works hard to always make sure your training event, conference, retreat, or annual general meeting is a success.

How To Eliminate Rude, Bossy & Passive Aggressive Email Tone

Most of us don’t mean to write rude, bossy and passive aggressive email, but it happens.

Thankfully there are easy ways to eliminate rude, bossy and passive aggressive email tone and instead use our email and text messages to build high-quality and highly productive relationships.

Tone is one of the most important parts of our email or text messages. Why? Because tone influences what our readers understand and how they feel about us. Our tone also influences our readers motivation to do what we are asking. We choose to be respectful, thoughtful and considerate… or not.

We often don’t take a moment to consider if we are writing rude, bossy and passive aggressive email and text message. Unfortunately, by not investing those few seconds, the compounding impact of all of our messages likely is having a negative impact on our personal and professional reputation not to mention increased stress and even lower productivity for everyone.

We choose the type of relationships we have

There are two kinds of relationships we choose have with others. We choose to have trusting, respectful, thoughtful and mutually beneficial relationships, or we choose to build frustrating, rude and stressful relationships.

Respect, appreciation and being treated with kindness are important building blocks of loyal work relationships. You know from your own experience that when you feel respected and appreciated you will usually make sure you do your very best, go the extra mile and even go our of your way to work with that other person. Alternatively, when we feel disrespected, even the most capable and creative of us will often deliver a ‘Meets Expectations’ performance and have a ‘Do what I’m asked – nothing more’ attitude. For this reason (and others), a bossy or aggressive writer doesn’t only cause stress and frustration for others when they write disrespectful, rude and/or passive aggressive messages; they also create stress and frustration for themselves.

So, how can you keep your messages from sounding rude, bossy, self-important, disrespectful and passive aggressive?

1.     Be polite.

People deserve to feel respected even if they are getting a paycheque. I don’t mean waste time with lots of social niceties. In fact, getting to the point is critical and something everyone prefers.

Being polite and respectful is one of the top values people say they appreciate in others. So, this means use words like Hi, Hello, Please and Thank You. It’s natural and polite to walk into someone’s office or call them on the phone and say, “Hi Bruce”. So why not when we email?

For example, if you were to receive the following message – especially if it was unexpected, you could easily interpret it as rude, bossy and disrespectful.

“What is the pricing on the XYZ account and when is the renewal date?”

This next version isn’t perfect, but it does sound less aggressive, more polite and more respectful… just by saying Hi, using their name and saying thanks.

“Hi Jessy,

What is the pricing on the XYZ account and when is the renewal date?

Thanks”

The one variation on this rule is if you and I write to each-other all day long. In this case, as long as you and I have talked – literally talked and agree that saying “Hi” and “thanks, isn’t necessary, then it is OK to drop it (but it may still be nice to add ‘Hi Bruce, hope you had a great weekend” at the end of our first email on a Monday morning).

2.     Manage other peoples expectations… and our own expectations.

There is nothing worse than interrupting what you are doing or rescheduling a meet because your boss sent you what sounds like an urgent request, only to find out when you deliver it that they didn’t need it for a day or two… or three. It often leaves us feeling manipulated and that our bosses don’t respect us and the time we dedicate to scheduling our commitments.

The solution is to be crystal clear and always include:

• What you need (likely you already do this)

• When you need it (helps others prioritize their schedule)

• Why you need it (helps others prioritize and often helps them determine how to format what they send to you)

• What you understand (helps everyone be clear about what each of us understand)

• What you will do (helps us not duplicate work… or worse yet miss something that needs to be done)

Using the example from point #1, the following is an even better way to build trusting, respectful, mutually beneficial relationships within a short message while we also manage other peoples expectations… and our own.

“Hi Jessy,

Please let me know by 10AM tomorrow the pricing on the XYZ account and when the renewal date is so I can include it in the proposal that is due at noon. If you need additional resources please let me know.

Thanks.”

The added benefit of the approach of this short, two-sentence email is that besides being polite, it tells Jessy what you need, when you need it and why it is important you get it by 10AM. It clearly manages Jessy’s expectations and your own. And, while you could eliminate the second sentence and still be OK, I do like it because it gives Jessy some control because it provides an opportunity to let you know if they need additional support. 

3.     Let someone know when they did a good job.

Again, you may be emailing or texting someone you pay, but everyone wants to know the work they are doing is important and they made a difference. So consider adding a line like “Those are exactly the numbers I needed.” Or “That presentation deck looks great”.

Be assured I am not recommending we praise others every time they do something, but every once in a while I urge you to recognize their work. Your 5-second investment from time to time will create positive energy and goodwill that cannot be measured.   

4.     Remember you are writing to someone else.

Most of us write as if we are writing to ourselves – with our own priorities, needs and experience but even if we are working in the same department it is likely that our priorities are different.

Example 1. Your priority may be to get a marketing forecast out by end of week, while mine is to balance my advertising spend for one of our biggest clients.

Example 2. You may have lots of industry experience and knowledge while I may be new or from a different department so don’t understand all that is involved and who to include when you ask for a ‘Agile Project Forecast’.

Example 3. Your ‘quick question’ may not have a ‘quick answer’. You may think the answer is simple, but I need to organize input from three different departments to get you the answer.

So when you are writing to someone else always try to be aware of the other peoples experience, understanding of industry language and priorities. And as I mentioned above, be sure to consider manage expectations as outlined in point 2 including providing others an opportunity to ask questions or give you feedback.

5.     Keep from sounding passive aggressive.

So far we’ve talked a lot about tone, so now lets focus in on passive aggressive messages.

I have a relative who is the queen of passive aggressive. She always seems to have an alternative motive or double meaning. The sad part is even when she isn’t being passive aggressive the rest of the family are wondering “What does she really mean?” or “What does she really want?” That is not the reputation you want to build for yourself.

Sounding passive aggressive is a bit habit forming; some people do it without even realizing it. And, expecting certain people to be passive aggressive is also habit forming. For example, if I expect you to be passive aggressive – or even rude or bossy, unless you are really careful I will always interpret your messages that way. Fortunately, people can unlearn bad habits and can rebuild their reputation.

The best way to avoid sounding passive aggressive is to re-read your messages. Ask yourself, if you were to receive it, would you be taken back? If you have the slightest feeling it is, rewrite.

That said, here are a few of my favourite passive aggressive approaches to avoid.

A: Stop asking the same question over and over. Just because you want a different answer, asking me again and again isn’t going to change reality.

B: “As per my last email”. You can hear the writers’ attitude. Perhaps it is frustration in repeating themselves over and over… or perhaps they are angry about something and someone else… but if you write it, know it will likely negatively impact your relationship with that person and perhaps others who see that email.

C: “No doubt you are aware”. This is about as blatantly passive aggressive as you can get. If someone missed something it’s right to bring their attention to it but, you don’t have to be insulting – even if they did overlook it on purpose. Remember, other people may read your message at some point and not know the whole story.

D: “For future reference” can be interpreted in many ways. Often, it means “don’t bother me again when the solution is obvious if you gave it a second of thought or did your job.” It’s worth noting that what is obvious to you may not be to me. I may be in another department, new, under extremely tight deadlines or perhaps my boss is asking me to send this and I really wish I didn’t have to. So next time – do your own reputation a favour and leave out these three words. “Here is where you will find files on this topic,” is much more friendly than “For future reference, here is where you will find files on this topic,”.

E: “Thanks in advance” is one of my least favourite statements. For the few times I receive it, it is usually followed by a request that is not my responsibility, the bottom of my priority list or junk email.

6.     When you ask for a meeting, be prompt with the start and stop time.

I know this doesn’t have anything to do with tone in writing; unfortunately running over timelines happens all too often, causing major frustration with employees, coworkers and suppliers. It is also passive aggressive behaviour so I thought I would include it.

Nowadays many of us have back to back online meetings using Zoom or Microsoft Teams. We go directly from one meeting to another with no break. Showing respect for others means we start meetings on time. It also means we end meetings on time… or early (imagine that). If we are a meeting organizer or presenter and force 10 coworkers and other department heads to wait for us because we are 5-minutes late, that means we just cost our company 50-minutes of productivity. If this happens routinely we build a reputation as selfish, entitled, disorganized and even unaware of how hard others are working.

Key time management and reputation saving tip is to start meetings on time and be sure to cover the critical elements first. Then, if there is time go ahead and discuss topics that are not part of the agenda and meeting purpose. Too often the reverse is done and the real meeting agenda is squeezed into the last 10-minutes and we find we are late for our next meeting.

Whether you make $30,000 or $300,000 respect the people you work with and yourself.

Conclusion:

Turning the table for a moment, when you receive a rude, bossy and passive aggressive email or text message, there is always a way to reply and not join their club. Unfortunately, when we respond using passive aggressive phrases, that will reflect back on us. Remember, it’s all about your brand and your reputation; if someone is being ridiculous, foolish or unprofessional that is all about them and their reputation. And, when we keep ourselves under control and professional – especially at those times – people will notice… and that is a good thing for us.

For everyone else, it’s always important to remember that tone is always one of the most important parts of our email or text messages. The examples I’ve shared here are some of the most effective ways to eliminate rude, bossy and passive aggressive email tone from our messages and instead use our email and text messages to build trusting, respectful, mutually beneficial relationships.

So, as you move forward writing email and text messages I hope you routinely take a moment to consider how others will interpret your messages. The few seconds you spend getting into the habit of writing great messages will save you countless time and help you build a personal and professional reputation you can be proud of.

Thank you for reading about how to eliminate rude, bossy and passive aggressive email tone from your writing.

Bruce

About Bruce and Bruce Mayhew Consulting.

Bruce is Corporate Trainer, Keynote Speaker and Executive Coach.

Bruce Mayhew Consulting specializes in customized Difficult Conversations, Crucial Conversations or Conflict Management Training, Email Etiquette Training, Leadership & New Leadership Development, Generational Differences, Time Management Training and other soft skills training solutions in Toronto and across Canada. Bruce is also an Executive Coach to a few select clients.

Bruce is an experienced motivational speaker in Toronto and has inspired audiences across Canada and within the USA and the UK. Bruce works hard to always make sure your training event, conference, retreat, or annual general meeting is a success.

When Leaders are Poor Communicators, Who Pays The Price: Part 2

In Part 1 of this post I mentioned how important it is for leaders to use professional evaluation tools to assess their communication skills. This is important because studies show many of us would rate ourselves as good communicators when we are not. The reality is, very few of us have invested in ourselves to learn and develop good leadership communication skills. Yes, some leaders have taken presentation skills training which has helped them speak to groups, but in their day-to-day, minute-by-minute, employee-to-employee and meeting-to-meeting work, I again propose few have invested in themselves to truly become good communicators.

I also outlined in Part 1 a total of 14 different ways leaders can be better leader communicators. But a long list like that may be overwhelming, so with that in mind lets discuss 5 of my favourite ways leaders can develop effective communication skills. Let me also give you one piece of advice now; if you are ever stuck, do whatever you feel the people you are leading need at that moment in order for them to be happy, inspired and productive employees who are loyal to you - their leader as well as loyal to their team and the company.

5 Ways Leaders Can Become Better Communicators:

#1.       Lead with a clear reflection of the company’s Vision and Values.

It’s easy to get busy and see only what is in front of us, but great leaders help their team and team members also stay focused on the big picture… the vision and values of the organization.

A focus on the company’s vision and values reminds everyone why they are working on a project and how the purpose of that project supports the teams, companies and customers success. Having a discussion at the beginning of a project to outline how the task and results will support the companies vision and values helps everyone make decisions (either independently or as a team) because they have a shared understanding of the goals and can see how that project is like one important piece of a puzzle and how it must fit. This creates harmony by streamlining goals and aligning decision making, increases commitment and accountability by everyone and saves money by delivering solutions quickly and with little waste.

#2.       Be clear with your expectations.

Being clear about your expectations is important from your big picture expectations and down to each request.

Communication Example:

Early in my career I learned the hard way that my job description was not a guide on how to be a top performer and get Exceeds Expectations; it was the minimum of what was expected of me. How wonderful it would have been if someone shared that insight with me.

When I say be clear about each request, I don’t mean micro-manage. What I do mean is answer the basics of Who, What, Where, When and How… especially when someone is new and doesn’t know your / your teams style. Far too often a leader will ask for something and everyone immediately drops what they are doing, meanwhile the request isn’t urgent. Also, far too often a leader will ask for information but doesn’t share how it will be used so their team spends far too little or far too much time ‘packaging’ it into a report that is far too brief or far too robust.

And when being clear with expectations, be sure to always keep your team motivated by shining a light on how they have met your expectations and the progress they’ve made. Remind them they have grown, and you are there as a coach as well as boss and you want to help them succeed. As leaders, far too often we tell people when they've fallen short but don’t tell them when they've met or exceeded our expectations and the reason we use is “it’s their job”. Let’s change this.

#3.       Encourage employees to ask for clarity or help 

The last thing anyone wants is someone who won’t ask for help or clarity. Unfortunately, when this happens one of three things often happen. They:

• Waste time overproducing

• Do a really bad job that can’t be used

• Bury the request and do nothing at all… which usually becomes a crisis

Too often the reason for not asking for help is because they feel they will look weak or incompetent if they ask.

In today’s workspace things are complicated and ever-changing. If an employees is doing something new (and we all should be in order to stay current and grow), we have to make sure we are clear about expectations. It is a leaders biggest frustration when they get work back they can’t use and/or have to fix themselves. This is also one of the biggest frustrations and let-downs for employees who are scared to ask their boss or work diligently on something only to see it not meet expectations and not be used. 

Great leaders let their team know that asking for help is a sign of respect for everyone and confidence in themselves. It can also be a sign of how that employee is growing and learning new skills. 

#4        Give people autonomy to make decisions

When leaders are transparent it allows team members to align their work and decisions. When employees know what is expected of them another benefit is that teams and team members are able to work more independently, choosing when and where to work.  This way, leaders can focus on getting updates and on bigger picture aspects of knowing the project is on time and on budget versus every minor decision. A critical part of this will also be to remember that ‘your way’ is not always ‘the only way’.

For example, I used to have a boss who would wordsmith copy changing a word here and a word there but never impacting the value of the document. One downside of this was that passing everything by him slowed down every project. It also had two other very negative impacts. First, everyone on the team started getting the ‘why should I bother spend more time perfecting my copy’ attitude because they knew he was going to edit and change the document. It just seemed we wasted less time by giving him ‘good but not great’ copy. Second, we never felt ownership or proud of anything final, so we began losing our inspiration to do our best. Thirdly, our loyalty to the leader, the project and the company dropped. While at that time I didn’t have a formal leadership position, I remember noticing that turnover was a bit hirer in our department than in others.

#5        Working 24/7 isn’t impressive

It’s not uncommon for people to think that being ‘busy’ is a sign of success and how valuable they are. At the same time when I teach Time Management people always talk about wanting more work-life balance.

It’s often a sign you are a good leader when your team occasionally pitch in during a crunch or to help with a great new opportunity for the company. But if this is happening all the time it is a sign something is wrong and your most valuable assets – your employees – are at risk of burning out. Note: burning out usually means short term disability or they quit. Either way it is a lose-lose situation for everyone.

The world at work is speeding up and especially since the COVID pandemic began people are stressed at home and often working far more than they or you ever signed up for. As a leader watch out for opportunities to tell your team how much they are appreciated. Also, as soon as you can reset everyone’s expectations, give them a break and perhaps lighten their load… and do that by bringing them in and asking them what ideas they have and what they need.

One last thought. Sometimes we try to give our team a break by letting timelines or quality slip. Lightening someone’s load for a short time or even a full break if they need it but lowering your and their standards isn’t the solution; people have to be proud that they did and will continue to deliver quality work.

Conclusion

Leadership is an iterative process that ebbs and flows. On one hand it is all about being in control and building a corporate culture focused on a vision and organizational values while on the other hand you are helping individuals bring their unique self to work, feel engaged and supported. It’s not easy.

As I mentioned in Part 1, the fact that 69% of managers are uncomfortable communicating with their employees says quite a bit. And I bet when looking at communication effectiveness, the number is actually higher if we were to ask the individuals who work with those managers. , it means there are opportunities for most of us (and I would wager all of us) to be better.

There is, however, one deceptively simple tactic that can help: ask people. Ask them, “How can I best support you?” or “What environment would help you do your best work?”. They may not have an answer immediately, but you’ll get them thinking. You’ll show them that you’re interested in their perspective. And provided you keep asking, you’ll get the answers you need to help them be happy, inspired and productive employees who are loyal to their leader, their team and the company.

Thank you for checking out ‘When Leaders Are Poor Communicators, Who Pays The Price? Part 2’..

An other article you might like.

When Leaders Are Poor Communicators, Who Pays The Price? Part 1

About Bruce and Bruce Mayhew Consulting.

Bruce is Corporate Trainer, Keynote Speaker and Executive Coach.

Bruce Mayhew Consulting specializes in customized Email Etiquette Training, Leadership & New Leadership Development, Generational Differences, Time Management Training and other soft skills training solutions in Toronto and across Canada. Bruce is also an Executive Coach to a few select clients.

Bruce is an experienced motivational speaker in Toronto and has inspired audiences across Canada and within the USA and the UK. Bruce works hard to always make sure your training event, conference, retreat, or annual general meeting is a success.

When Leaders are Poor Communicators, Who Pays The Price? Part 1

Imagine, 69% of managers are uncomfortable communicating with their employees as reported by Harvard Business Review. And since 60%-80% of most leaders’ responsibilities are now considered Soft Skills… I think we can all agree this is a serious gap / challenge.

When leaders are poor communicators, who pays the price for this gap? The answer is everyone!

• The employee: They don’t feel pride and don’t grow, leading to feeling uninspired to do their best work which starts the cycle over again.

• The company: Doesn’t get the investment, insight and loyalty from their employees that they need and that their employees want do give… if they felt proud.

• The customer / client: They don’t feel as important as they should, respected as they should and don’t get solutions that inspired employees could provide if they were engaged, respected and encouraged.

• The leader: Even the leader is eventually found out, but often not before many employees and customers have become disengaged and moved on, costing the company dearly. 

What makes a great leader communicator?

A great leader communicator starts with awareness of course. If you are wondering about yourself, look externally for your proof. Studies have shown that in almost every case we will rate ourselves as far greater - or far poorer leaders and communicators than we actually are. I encourage you to reach out to a reputable service that offers psychometric evaluations and/or who will coordinate a robust 360 degree evaluation for you and everyone else on you team… not just your leaders.

Another key aspect of being a great leader communicator is knowing what you should be doing. The following is a long list of strong leadership traits, but I will never say that a list I create is complete. I am sure everyone could add another great leadership trait that you have or do admire.

A great leader communicator is someone who:

1. Works with others to create a vision / strategy to shape their future.

2. Is an ambassador of the values of the team / organization.

3. Listens more than they speak.

4. Communicates frequently and is transparent with opportunities, goals, expectations and feedback.

5. Recognizes everyone is unique and has something special to offer.

6. Is compassionate and not afraid of their - or other peoples emotions / needs.

7. Inspires people to do their best as they work toward that vision and live those values.

8. Helps everyone incorporate each other’s style into the work and the values of the organization. IE: Does not micromanage and force others to do things ‘my way or the highway’.

9. Recognizes employee engagement is not a one-size fits all solution. For example, four motivators that engage people are competency, autonomy, purpose and impact. 

10. Builds, mentors and coaches their team so they can feel proud of their efforts and develop skill to meet their personal and professional goals.

11. Doesn't lose focus but also embraces the need to change and adapt from time to time.

12. Accepts they are not always right.

13. Accepts they don't always have the answer - someone else will likely be the Subject Matter Expert.

14. Accepts they also have something to learn and additional skills to develop.

The fact that 69% of managers are uncomfortable communicating with their employees, it means there are opportunities for most of us (and I would wager all of us) to be better. So, with that in mind, lets discuss some of the things that many leaders hesitate to communicate but also things that happy, inspired and productive employees need and want to know.

#1.       Lead with a clear reflection of the company’s Vision and Values.

It’s easy to get busy and see only what is in front of us, but great leaders help their team and team members also stay focused on the big picture… the vision and values of the organization. The great part of this is that reminds everyone why they are working on a project and how the purpose of that project supports the teams, companies and customers success. Having a discussion at the beginning of a project that outlines how the task and results will support the companies vision and values helps everyone make decisions (either independently or as a team) because they have a shared understanding of the goals and can see how that project is like one important piece of a puzzle and how it must fit. This creates harmony by streamlining goals and aligning decision making, increases commitment and accountability by everyone and saves money by delivering solutions quickly and with little waste.

#2.       Be clear with your expectations.

Being clear about your expectations is important from your big picture expectations and down to each request.

For example:

Early in my career I learned the hard way that my job description was not a guide on how to be a top performer and get Exceeds Expectations; it was the minimum of what was expected of me. How wonderful it would have been if someone shared that insight with me.

When I say be clear about each request, I don’t mean micro-manage. What I do mean is answer the basics of Who, What, Where, When and How… especially when someone is new and doesn’t know your / your teams style. Far too often a leader will ask for something and everyone immediately drops what they are doing, meanwhile the request isn’t urgent. Also, far too often the leader asks for information but doesn’t share how it will be used so their team spends far too much time ‘packaging’ it into a brief, or far too little time and present only the basics.

Above all, always keep your team motivated by shining a light on the progress they’ve made. Remind them they have grown, and you are there as a coach as well as boss and you want to help them succeed. 

#3.       Encourage employees to ask for clarity or help 

The last thing anyone wants is someone who won’t ask for help or clarity and instead:

• Wastes time overproducing

• Does a really bad job that can’t be used

• Buries the request and does nothing at all

Too often the reason for not asking for help is because they feel they will look weak or incompetent if they ask. Truth is, in today’s workspace things are complicated so if an employees is doing something new (and we all should be in order to stay current and grow), we have to  make sure we are clear about expectations. It is a leaders biggest frustration when they get work back they cant use and/or have to fix themselves and also one of the biggest frustrations and let-downs for employees who are scared to ask their boss or work diligently on something only to see it not meet expectations and not be used. 

Great leaders let their team know that asking for help is a sign of respect for everyone and confidence in themselves. It can also be a sign of how that employee is growing and learning new skills. 

#4        Give people autonomy to make decisions

As mentioned above, when leaders are transparent it allows team members to align their work and decisions. When they know what is expected of them another benefit is that teams and team members are able to work more independently, choosing when and where to work.  This way, leaders can focus on getting updates and on bigger picture aspects of knowing the project is on time and on budget versus every minor decision. A critical part of this will also be to remember that ‘your way’ is not always ‘the only way’.

For example, I used to have a boss who would wordsmith copy changing a word here and a word there but never impacting the value of the document; whether it was his intention or not, all he did was make it sound more like him. The downside of this is that passing everything by him slowed down every project. It also had two other very negative impacts. First, everyone on the team started getting the ‘why should I bother spend more time perfecting my copy’ attitude because they knew he was going to edit and change the document. It just seemed we wasted less time by giving him ‘good but not great’ copy. Second, we never felt ownership or proud of anything final, so we began losing our inspiration to do our best. Thirdly, our loyalty to the leader for sure and often to the project and the company dropped. While at that time I didn’t have a formal leadership position, I remember noticing that turnover was a bit hirer in our department than in others.

#5        Working 24/7 isn’t impressive

It’s not uncommon for people to think that being ‘busy’ is a sign of success and how valuable they are. At the same time when I teach Time Management people always talk about wanting more work-life balance.

It’s often a sign you are a good leader when your team occasionally pitch in during a crunch or to help with a great new opportunity for the company. But if this is happening all the time it is a sign something is wrong and your most valuable assets – your employees – are at risk of burning out. Note: burning out usually means short term disability or they quit. Either way it is a lose-lose situation for everyone.

The world at work is speeding up and especially since the COVID pandemic began people are stressed at home and often working far more than they or you ever signed up for. As a leader watch out for opportunities to tell your team how much they are appreciated. Also, as soon as you can reset everyone’s expectations, give them a break and perhaps lighten their load… and do that by bringing them in and asking them what ideas they have and what they need.

One last thought. Sometimes we try to give our team a break by letting timelines or quality slip. Lightening someone’s load for a short time or even a full break if they need it but lowering your and their standards isn’t the solution; people have to be proud that they did and will continue to deliver quality work.

Conclusion

Leadership is an iterative process that ebbs and flows. On one hand it is all about being in control and building a corporate culture focused on a vision and organizational values while on the other hand you are helping individuals bring their unique self to work, feel engaged and supported. It’s not easy.

There is, however, one deceptively simple tactic that can help: ask people. Ask them, “How can I best support you?” or “What environment would help you do your best work?”. They may not have an answer immediately, but you’ll get them thinking. You’ll show them that you’re interested in their perspective. And provided you keep asking, you’ll get the answers eventually.

Remember that people want to succeed and feel proud of where they work and how they contribute. They rarely need control. Instead they need room to flourish. A leader’s job is to build the right team so that company, team and individual priorities are aligned and that happens when leaders are transparent, flexible, trusting, trustworthy and respectful.

Thank you for checking out ‘When Leaders Are Poor Communicators, Who Pays The Price? Part 1’.

An other article you might like.

When Leaders Are Poor Communicators, Who Pays The Price? Part 2

About Bruce and Bruce Mayhew Consulting.

Bruce is Corporate Trainer, Keynote Speaker and Executive Coach.

Bruce Mayhew Consulting specializes in customized Email Etiquette Training, Leadership & New Leadership Development, Generational Differences, Time Management Training and other soft skills training solutions in Toronto and across Canada. Bruce is also an Executive Coach to a few select clients.

Bruce is an experienced motivational speaker in Toronto and has inspired audiences across Canada and within the USA and the UK. Bruce works hard to always make sure your training event, conference, retreat, or annual general meeting is a success.

Discuss Values With Your Team

Values help teams and individuals know which solutions are best when they make decisions. This clarity also offers practical support to decision in the following days, weeks and even years down the road. The confidence, consistency and success values provide cannot be underestimated; this is why it’s important to discuss your corporate values with your team.

Because values provide information about what decisions are right (or wrong) and why, they build a foundation of integrity and trust between people, even when their responsibilities and experiences are very different. When values are understood conflict is reduced, decisions are made more quickly, and commitment to those decisions is high… and remains high. Values also help a company generate alignment and harmony with their employees and within their products / services. If all of that isn’t enough, in the mid and long term, aligning decisions with your shared corporate values will also decrease scope-creep (skōp·krēp; Verb: continuous changes or growth in a project’s scope), and back-pedalling (back·ped·al; Verb: to reverse one's previous action or opinion), along the project. In short, shared values increases productivity and decreases waste therefore creating a net win-win-win-win-win.

We all have doubts from time to time, but shared values provide clarity, confidence and consistency.

Defining Your Corporate Values

If updating or defining your corporate values it’s important to involve every employee in discussions. Give everyone an opportunity to share what values they think should guide the company, why those values are important, their view of what each value means and how they influence each other’s actions and decisions. This important work should not be done in isolation by one person or a small C-suite team.

There is a process for helping everyone share their input; it isn’t as complicated as it may sound. The importance of having everyone’s input means that once values are agreed upon and adopted, everyone will be committed to them – no exceptions. Everyone must also understand that should someone continue to choose to work outside of those values, they are also choosing to be dismissed – no exceptions.

For newly hired employees, it’s important to introduce the company values in a robust and intentional manner. During the interview process you will have already determined their values are aligned with the company values. Now, as part of their on-boarding, take the time to share how important values are within your corporate culture, how they will be expected to use them in their work and even how your values were defined (companywide review). To be fair, this discussion should also include the impact on their career aspirations should they choose to work outside of those values.

When your corporate values are clear, making decisions becomes easier.

Does Your Company Share Your Values?

How do you know if the company and/or team you work with share your personal values? This is an important question for all employees. My first recommendation is to explore how you feel.

• Do you trust your leader and your team members? 

• Is your work-life balance in balance or out of alignment?

• Are you recognized for your competence and experience?

• Do you have the opportunity to learn and grow?

• Do you feel respected?

To experience success and peace / pride in our lives I believe there should be virtually no a difference between how we act in our personal lives and our professional lives.

If employees are a good fit they will not only complement each other’s values, they will also strengthen and help each of us grow personally and professionally. This doesn’t mean we must all have similar education and experiences, or that we will begin to look and sound alike; we actually know the opposite is true and that diversity makes each of us and company more successful. That is another amazing benefit of values. People with very different backgrounds, experiences and personal and professional (career), interests can still share very similar values and therefore easily share a common bond.

Conclusion:

One of the best investments a business can make is to help each employee consistently live the business values. In addition to all the benefits values offer to the team and the company, understanding the corporate values provides great benefit to each employee as we reflect what is important in what we work on as well as how we work. When our values are strong and shared, we will consistently make ethical decisions we can be proud of.

Ethics are the moral principles that govern our actions… the things we say and do as well as the decisions we make. In business, a company’s values and ethics should be aligned. If they are not, it is likely their values are written somewhere on their website but not supported… and more importantly employees are struggling which means the corporate brand and reputation is at risk.

Values are with us all the time and are tested most of all during difficult times. These are also the times when they are most important in guiding our decisions.

Thank you for reading about the importance of discussing values with your team and how values build a foundation of integrity.

Bruce

About Bruce and Bruce Mayhew Consulting.

Bruce is Corporate Trainer, Keynote Speaker and Executive Coach.

Bruce Mayhew Consulting specializes in customized Email Etiquette Training, Leadership & New Leadership Development, Generational Differences, Time Management Training and other soft skills training solutions in Toronto and across Canada. Bruce is also an Executive Coach to a few select clients.

Bruce is an experienced motivational speaker in Toronto and has inspired audiences across Canada and within the USA and the UK. Bruce works hard to always make sure your training event, conference, retreat, or annual general meeting is a success.

The Importance Of Building A Supportive Company Culture

A supportive company culture is a living, breathing, dynamic space. It is an environment where ideas, responsibilities, respect and mutual support ebb and flow between leaders, employees, suppliers, clients and more. It is a place where trust and loyalty are nurtured carefully. And all supportive corporate cultures are built on a foundation of purpose; a shared understanding of the company vision, mission and values. Metaphorically speaking, purpose is where you are going, and corporate culture is how you are getting there.

Everyone from the most junior employee to the most senior has a responsibility to support the company culture; it is not the sole responsibility of the leadership team, HR or the social committee. A healthy, supportive corporate culture is a symbiotic relationship that involves everyone. It grows out of the big and small decisions we make, how we act, what we say, how we say it, how we treat each other and what part we play in our community. We are all ambassadors of our corporate culture as well as our own personal and professional reputation (brand).

The following are opportunities where each of us can contribute to a supportive company culture. And, while all of these are great opportunities, we must recognize it would be impossible to ever develop a complete list. So, I encourage you to consider these suggestions but to also consider what other ways you and/or your company could use to create a supportive company culture.

Company Examples: Adding to a supportive company culture:

Companies with supportive company cultures know most employees want to be proud of where they work and want to help the company be the best it can be. Yes, there will always be an employee who doesn’t care and only wants a paycheck, but truthfully, there are far fewer people like this than we may think. Most people who have checked-out simply don’t feel valued, respected and supported (3 from a list of most common reasons), but put them in a space where the corporate culture is rich and they will thrive.

To help proud employees do their best work, the following are examples how great leaders add to a supportive company culture:

1. ·      Offer employees fair wages with respectful benefits

2. ·      Strive to be sure employees feel:

   • Valued

   • Appreciated

   • Trusted

   • Involved

   • Empowered

3. ·      Encourage employees to ask questions

4. ·      Employees believe they contribute / their work is important

5. ·      Employees feel a level of control / Autonomy

6. ·      Provide employees opportunities to better themselves

7. ·      Empower employees to work when they are at their best

8. ·      Employees are:

   • Mentored

   • Challenged

   • Promoted

   • Encouraged to enjoy interests outside of work

9. ·       Be a good corporate citizen

Leadership Examples: Adding to a supportive company culture:

While it is everyone’s responsibility to build and support the company culture, leaders really do play an important role in what happens throughout the company and/or within their team. Even a leader within a company with a questionable company culture can create a happy, creative, productive and loyal corporate micro-culture when their team feels their respect and trust.

So, what can a leader do within their company and/or team to develop a supportive corporate culture?

1. Include everyone on your team to define team values and/or to discuss what the current team or organization values impact them and how they approach their work. Note: Even though your company may have defined values, I don’t think there is anything wrong with sitting with your team to not only review them… but to add one or two that your team may want to also adopt.

2. Explore openly with your team how every decision and/or action supports (or does not support) the company’s core values, beliefs, mission and vision.

3. Be approachable

4. Practice empathy

5. Be crystal clear with your expectations

6. Agree that no question is a bad question. Better people ask for clarification than do something unexpected eh?

7. Demonstrate trust by giving employees the opportunity to figure things out for themselves. This often develops a greater sense of responsibility, pride and confidence in the employees (or teams) and makes their work important to them. 

8. Demonstrate you value suggestions from employees and suppliers as much as you do from other leaders.

9. Provide employees and teams the autonomy and decision-making ability they need to be accountable. Leaders need to support their team while also helping them be responsible and accountable for their work. Accountability develops greater sense of responsibility, pride and confidence. It will help them grow and be better at their work in the future. Remember, leaders do not make every decision; they trust employees who are experts and/or closer to the work.

10. Reward when people and/or teams are accountable. 

11. Encourage and praise employees who collaborate well with others. This doesn’t mean only reward extraverts; introverts are often some of the best collaborators.  

12. Take onboarding new employees seriously, help them learn the language, the culture and the organization. Consider matching new employees with internal mentors.

13. Help your company and team be a good corporate citizen.

14. Respect our environment.

Employee Examples: Adding to a supportive company culture:

During my career I have had some great bosses – I’ve also had one really bad boss. This bad boss created a terrible team culture even though the overall corporate culture was quite good. Thankfully, there were a few of us on the team who banded together to support each other and to find ways to do our best work within the toxic storm our leader created.

Ways in which employees can add to a supportive company (or team) culture include:

1. Know what the company’s core values, beliefs, mission and vision are. Try to use those as goal posts for the decisions you make.

2. Demonstrate you recognize everyone has a voice and their ideas are valued.

3. Always enjoy a good laugh, but never at someone else’s expense. Mutual respect is critical.

4. When you are wrong or makes an error, admit it and move on. Being accountable shows respect for yourself and your colleagues. A culture of accountability also develops trust.

5. When someone else is wrong or makes an error, move on. Ask them if they would like your support to find ways to minimize / correct the damage. 

6. When someone else has a better idea, give them credit and help them / the team develop it further. Be an example of integrity, honour and respect of other people and ideas.

7. Be respectful with your language.

8. Help your company and team be a good corporate citizen.

9. Respect our environment.

Toxic workplaces cause psychological and physical stress. This engages peoples natural instinct to protect themselves, to not share creative ideas, decreases motivation, increases absenteeism and eventually turnover.

Organizations are aways in competition to hire and retain amazing people. The best way to protect themselves from losing valuable employees is to make sure you have a supportive company culture that makes your employees… and your competitions employees… want to work for you.

Conclusion

You now have many examples how to create a supportive company culture that is an environment for growth, hard work and change while still maintaining a low stress environment. This creates one of the best places to work where productivity and loyalty are high while conflict and turnover are low. When we have a great company culture, employees trust each other and can be their true authentic self. When we trust and respect each other we share good ideas, crazy ideas, we look out for each other and everyone wins. 

BONUS:

Two deeper dives into how companies and leaders can build great a great corporate culture.

1.     Build a solid employment brand. It starts with understanding what makes your organization unique. Once you have it, promote it; find every opportunity to talk about the company brand. Write articles, post employee survey results, sit on panel discussions, talk with reporters in addition to the more common approach of building a great career website and distributing job openings in both typical and non-standard places. Make sure that everyone knows yours is a great place to work.

If you’re a good employer, employees will want to work for you. Existing employee loyalty will go up and when you do need to hire new people you will be attracting talent that want to work for your company versus have to find a job.

Now is the time to be further developing your corporate culture because you can bet your competition is.

2.     Consider sabbaticals or approved / arranged boomerangs. We all know what a sabbatical is. In office terms a boomerang is when an employee leaves a company and then later returns to work for the company.

Imagine offering an agreed upon leave of absence like sabbaticals and boomerangs to employees who meet or exceed expectations to achieve a personal goal or gain new skills. 

Neither sabbaticals or boomerangs need to be for a year. Why not let them be can be as flexible as required. And, perhaps you can arrange employees spend some time in the office so you don’t lose all productivity. For example, imagine having a strong employee who requests a 3-month sabbatical to take a few courses or earn a professional certificate to help them further their career. Depending on their schedule they may even be able to work 2-days a week. Or imagine letting an employee take a 2-month boomerang to take their dream vacation.

Offering flexible options will provide a clear example of how you trust and value employees while giving them some autonomy. Employees who negotiate sabbaticals and boomerangs are going to be even more valuable when they return because they will always have a fresh perspective and likely be more hard-working than ever. If nothing more, they will be more loyal. And let’s be clear, in most cases you will save thousands of dollars versus the high cost of recruiting new talent in highly competitive business environments and opportunity lost when valued employees see no other way to get ahead than to quit… or worse, to not take a dream course or vacation, feel resentful about it and stay.

Whenever you can, create a workplace where employees feel comfortable being themselves and is built on mutual respect and mutual benefit.

Thank you for your interest in building a supportive company culture.

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About Bruce and Bruce Mayhew Consulting.

Bruce is Corporate Trainer, Keynote Speaker and Executive Coach.

Bruce Mayhew Consulting specializes in customized Email Etiquette Training, Leadership & New Leadership Development, Generational Differences, Time Management Training and other soft skills training solutions in Toronto and across Canada. Bruce is also an Executive Coach to a few select clients.

Bruce is an experienced motivational speaker in Toronto and has inspired audiences across Canada and within the USA and the UK. Bruce works hard to always make sure your training event, conference, retreat, or annual general meeting is a success.

Introducing Dr. Edward de Bono's Six Thinking Hats

I recall that when I first learned about Six Thinking Hats by Dr. Edward de Bono it was from someone who said it was a tool to analyze how each of us instinctively ‘think’ and therefore determine how potential hires may ‘fit’ within a team. It instantly seemed odd to me to think any person can be identified as ‘one thing’ … and it still does. Take me for example, different parts of my personality and experience are present at different times. Sometimes I am quiet and reserved and sometimes I take charge… and there is a whole spectrum in the middle.

Long story short, the person who introduced Six Thinking Hats to me was missing the power of this model. There are however Psychometric tests that do a very good job measuring an individual’s logical, verbal, mechanical, abstract and situational judgement reasoning. But for now, as a communication and leadership trainer and coach, let me share what I’ve learned after much research and my understanding about how the Six Thinking Hats can be used.

I see Six Thinking Hats as a great leadership, team, planning and problem-solving tool. It gives us a guideline on how to expand our thinking and encourages us to explore non-traditional possibilities and opportunities that may impact a project or decision. It also helps us analyze risk. And, as I suggested above, if we use it to only define ‘how Bruce thinks’ or ‘Bruce’s instinctive style’  then we are not doing our project, our company and certainly not Bruce and his future any favours.

What Are The Six Thinking Hats?

Before we go any further, let me share with you my explanation of what each colour within the Six Thinking Hats means from the perspective of a leader:

1. White Hat: "Facts & Information"

   • The white hat represents research, learning and information gathering. It’s about knowing what you know and knowing what you don’t know. It is also about giving yourself permission to learn more - gather more facts and information.

2. Red Hat: "Emotions & Intuition"

   • The red hat represents emotions and feelings. It’s about tapping into intuition, empathy and hunches while feeling safe to share who you are, your likes and dislikes. It is about embracing Soft Skills and what makes each of us unique.

3. Black Hat: "Judgement & Skepticism"

   • The black hat is the judgement. Judging, being cautious and assessing risk is important but too often the black hat is overused. Part of the creative process is learning from our mistakes… not hiding them or being fearful of making one as we grow. Make sure your environment doesn’t condemn mistakes and allow caution to paralyze progress.

4. Yellow Hat: "Optimism & Benefits"

   • The yellow hat represents optimism, the glass is half full not half empty. We embrace values, see opportunity, explore benefits and encourage positivity. 

5. Green Hat: "Creativity & New Ideas"

   • The green hat represents creative thinking. Green represents exploring new ideas and possibilities; it is about being free to be our unique selves, to share our thoughts and to try new things.

6. Blue Hat: "Control & Organization"

   • The blue hat represents control but certainly not stagnation. Everything happens on purpose. It is about strategy and a shared vision. It is about goals, objectives, planning, agendas and defined / measurable conclusions. 

I really like how the Six Thinking Hats encourages us to think more broadly. For example, it’s easy (and very common) to explore all the risks and threats of an idea and forget to explore all of the creative possibilities and opportunities that may not be immediately obvious. When we look at only the negatives and risk of a decision, we can’t truly move forward, learn, adapt and grow.

The Six Thinking Hats reminds us to look at a situation (every situation) from six different perspectives.

For The Team

• The model helps eliminate bias and group think. No matter what someone’s  personal style or even hierarchy, using the Six Thinking Hats (Red, Yellow, Black etc) helps the team stay focused on important issues and encourages shared understanding. This leads to the team being able to collaborate more effectively and reach consensus with little to no conflict. It also often means decisions are made more quickly and with less waste because it improves transparency, collaboration, team trust and accountability in a very productive way.

• A team can use the Six Thinking Hats in many ways. For example, a committee of 12 people could divide into six teams with two people per team. Each team could explore a shared topic, need or opportunity from the perspective on one of the hat colours. Then, after 1-hour each team would present their ‘research’ and ‘brainstorming’ to their peers. This would be a quick way to conduct a very thorough review which should also lead to shared understanding, shared decision making and perhaps best of all… shared commitment.

For The Individual

• The Six Thinking Hats helps each of us grow by encouraging our creativity and imagination while also improving our analytical skills. But it does more of each of us. The Six Thinking Hats encourages us to make room for other people’s opinions and to remember that not only are each of our jobs and responsibilities different, we are not all built the same. From this we are able to build trust with other people and within our teams, helping each of us to communicate more confidently and effectively and develop more reliable interpersonal skills.

It’s far too easy for us to get overwhelmed exploring risks (the black hat), and to not give creative ideas the benefit of the other six hats. The Six Thinking Hats reminds us to do more and be more. It is a leadership, team and problem-solving tool that gives us permission to be cautious and also permission to dream and to use non-traditional thinking or ‘thinking outside the box’ which may be a more familiar term.

Whether we are using the model as an individual to evaluate options or if we are in a team, the Six Thinking Hats theory empowers us to generate traditional and non-traditional ideas and to use non-biased evaluation to select the best possible decision. And of course, giving a nod to the blue hat, the model provides concrete reasoning that we can use now and in the future to justify our decision.

Example of how Dr. Bono’s theories help us generate non-traditional ideas:

Problem: A company is dumping pollution into a lake. It is seriously harming the ecosystem and a solution has to be found. There are many traditional methods that come to mind:

• Tax the company for each ton of sewage they dump.

• Draft laws that force them clean their waste before it goes into the lake.

• Draft laws that make them collect and recycle their waste in advance.

These solutions can work, but they are complicated, take time, require constant monitoring and can fail.

Solution (non-traditional): Using critical thinking and the Six Thinking Hats to generate new ideas, a team identifies a simple and non-traditional solution. Make the company position their water intake valve immediately downstream from their sewage output valve (usually output valves are positioned downstream). This way, the company is the first to be impacted by any pollution they dump. They will be eager to monitor pollution levels themselves and will likely be very motivated to find eco-friendly alternatives to their processes.

Conclusion

The Six Thinking Hats is a framework that helps us explore all sides of a situation; to dream, be creative, listen carefully, evaluate, feel, learn and above all, to grow, become better and achieve more as a team and as an individual. It helps us explore what can be… versus what is. The model also helps us change our perception and therefore overcome ‘errors of potential’ as Dr. Bono might say.

When you are faced with solving a problem, try using the Six Thinking Hats model to frame your approach and help you generate new ideas. I am confident it will help you explore your problem from multiple perspectives, improve creativity, help develop teamwork within a team (if you have one) and firm up your (and other peoples) commitment.

NOTE: The Six Thinking Hats approach was created by Dr. Edward de Bono a Maltese physician, psychologist and philosopher who is a global authority on creative and conceptual thinking wrote a book called ‘The Six Thinking Hats’ that encourages all of us to think differently and ‘The Mechanism of The Mind’ and many other books.

Thank you for reading this article, please be well. Happy communicating and happy leading.

Bruce

An other article you might like.

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About Bruce and Bruce Mayhew Consulting.

Bruce is Corporate Trainer, Keynote Speaker and Executive Coach.

Bruce Mayhew Consulting specializes in customized Email Etiquette Training, Leadership & New Leadership Development, Generational Differences, Time Management Training and other soft skills training solutions in Toronto and across Canada. Bruce is also an Executive Coach to a few select clients.

Bruce is an experienced motivational speaker in Toronto and has inspired audiences across Canada and within the USA and the UK. Bruce works hard to always make sure your training event, conference, retreat, or annual general meeting is a success.

Build A Supportive Company Culture

A supportive company culture is a living a breathing, dynamic space. It is an environment where support for people and their ideas ebb and flow between leaders, employees, suppliers, clients, their communities and more.

A healthy, supportive corporate culture is a symbiotic relationship centred around the company’s core values, beliefs, mission and vision. Everyone from the most junior employee to the most senior has a responsibility to support the company culture, it is not a responsibility for only the leadership team or the responsibility of HR or the social committee.

Venice Italy

The following are opportunities for companies, leaders and employees to build together and add to a supportive company culture. These are all great opportunities but it would be near impossible to develop a complete list. It is likely there are some unique opportunities for your business. For example, imagine that if you are in the entertainment business what you might be able to do around a special performance or with a costumed event. If you are in the technology business what might you be able to do with a custom app or remote team solutions. Bring your teams together to brainstorm ideas.

I encourage you to consider what you can do to integrate or strengthen the opportunities within this article. I also encourage you to celebrate and share with your friends, family and like minded professionals what you and/or your company does that is not included within these lists.

Company Examples: Adding to a supportive company culture:

Supportive corporate cultures are respectful of everyone. Companies realize that employees want to be proud of where they work. Employees are also eager to help the company be the best it can be… until they feel disrespected or used. To help employees do their best work and be the best individual they can be, supportive companies don’t only take, they give back to employees, helping them be their best and be proud of what they do and the company they work for.

Companies that add to a supportive company culture:

• Strive to be sure employees feel:

  • Valued

  • Appreciated

  • Trusted

  • Involved

  • Empowered

• Encourage employees to ask questions.

• Take opportunities to let employees know they contribute and that their work is important.

• Help employees feel a level of control and autonomy.

• Provide employees opportunities to better themselves.

• Empower employees to work when they are at their best.

• Provide opportunity for employees to be:

  • Mentored

  • Challenged

  • Promoted

  • Encouraged to enjoy interests outside of work

• Let employees grow at their own pace.

• Are a good corporate citizen.

• Offer employees fair wages with respectful benefits.

Leadership Examples: Adding to a supportive company culture:

While it is everyone’s responsibility to build and support the company culture, leaders do play an important role in what happens throughout the company and/or within their team. Great leaders don’t wait – they know that even within their own team they can make a difference and create a fantastic, trusting and respective corporate culture where employees on their team are happy, creative, productive and loyal.

So, what can a leader do within their company and/or team to develop a supportive corporate culture?

• Explore openly with their team how every decision and/or action supports (or does not support) the company’s core values, beliefs, mission and vision.

• Be approachable.

• Practice empathy.

• Be crystal clear with expectations.

• Celebrate great work.

• Recognize and celebrate when employees make decisions or take actions that are inline with the company’s core values, beliefs, mission and vision.

• Agree that no question is a bad question. Better people ask for clarification than do something unexpected eh?

• Demonstrate trust by giving employees the opportunity to figure things out for themselves. Opportunity often develops a greater sense of responsibility, pride and confidence in the employees (or teams) and makes their work important to them. 

• Listen. Leaders demonstrate they value suggestions from employees and suppliers as much as they do from other leaders.

• Provide employees and teams the autonomy and decision-making ability they need to be accountable. Great leaders help employees and teams be responsible and accountable for their work. Accountability develops greater sense of responsibility, pride and confidence in the employees (or teams) work in similar ways that opportunity does. Accountability will help employees grow and be better at their work in the future. Remember, leaders do not make every decision; they trust employees who are experts and/or closer to the work.

• Reward when others are accountable. Celebrate accountability. Turn it into a positive team building and / or learning experience.

• Encourage and praise employees who collaborate well with others. This doesn’t mean only reward extraverts; introverts are often some of the best collaborators.  

• Take on-boarding new employees seriously, help them learn the language, the culture and the organization. Consider setting new employees up with internal mentors for a short time.

• Help the company and team be a good corporate citizen.

• Respect our environment.

Employee Examples: Adding to a supportive company culture:

During my career I have had some great bosses – I’ve also had one really bad boss. He created a terrible team culture within a more or less very good corporate culture. Thankfully, there were a few of us on the team who baneded together to support eachother and to find ways to do the best work we could do within the perfect storm our leader created every day.

Ways in which employees can add to a supportive company (or team) culture include:

• Know what the company’s core values, beliefs, mission and vision are. Try to use those as goal posts for the decisions they make.

• Demonstrate they recognize everyone has a voice and their ideas are valued.

• Always enjoy a good laugh, but never at someone else’s expense. Mutual respect is critical. Toxic workplaces cause psychological and physical stress. This engages peoples natural instinct to protect themselves, to not share creative ideas, decreases motivation, increases absenteeism and eventually turnover.

• When you are wrong or make an error, admit it quickly, help find a solution and move on. Being accountable shows respect for yourself and your colleagues. A culture of accountability also develops trust.

• When someone else is wrong or makes an error, offer to help find a solution and move on. Ask if your support to find ways to minimize / correct the damage would be helpful, don’t push your way in.

• When someone else has a better idea, give them credit. If appropriate, help them / the team develop it further. Be an example of integrity, honour and respect of other people and ideas.

• Be respectful with your language.

• Help the company and team be a good corporate citizen.

• Respect our environment. 

Conclusion

When our workspace creates a space where employees feel comfortable being themselves. When we have a great corporate culture, employees trust each other and can be their true authentic self. When we trust and respect each other we share good ideas, crazy ideas and we look out for each other. This is the best environment for growth, hard work and change while still maintaining a low stress environment. This creates one of the best places to work where productivity and loyalty are high while conflict and turnover are low.

Negative cultural issues can have long-standing effects on your workforce’s wellbeing and performance. Leaders who do not realize this are setting up the company, the employees and suppliers and of course themselves for failure.

BONUS:

Two deeper dives into how companies and leaders can build great a great corporate culture.

1.    Build a solid employment brand. It starts with understanding what makes your organization unique. Once you have it, promote it; find every opportunity to talk about the company brand. Write articles, post employee survey results, sit on panel discussions, talk with reporters in addition to the more common approach of building a great career website and distributing job openings in both typical and non-standard places. Make sure everyone knows yours is a great place to work.

If you’re a good employer, employees will want to work for you. Existing employee loyalty will go up and when you do need to hire new people you will be attracting talent that want to work for your company versus have to find a job.

Now is the time to be further developing your corporate culture because you can bet your competition is.

2.    Consider sabbaticals or approved / arranged boomerangs. We all know what a sabbatical is but a boomerang in office terms is when employee leaves a company and then returns to work for the company at some later date. Imagine offering an agreed upon leave of absence like sabbaticals and boomerangs to employees who meet or exceed expectations to achieve a personal goal or gain new skills.

Sabbaticals and boomerangs don’t have to be for a year. Why not let them be can be as flexible as required, and perhaps you can still arrange employees spend some time in the office so you don’t lose all productivity. For example, imagine giving a strong employee who meets expectations a 3-month sabbatical where they work 1 or 2-days a week and use the extra time to take a few high-intensity courses or earn a professional certificate to help them further their career. Or, imagine letting an employee take a 2-month boomerang to take their dream vacation.

Offering flexible options will provide a clear example to all employees that you trust and value them. And, when you have an employee who has returned from a sabbatical or boomerang they will have a fresh perspective and likely be more valuable and hard-working than ever. If nothing more, they will be more loyal and you will save a ton of time, money and intellectual knowledge versus the high cost of turnover and hiring new employees. Think about it, can you advertise for, interview, hire and train a new employee in 2-months… or even 6-months? Usually no. We see time and time again when a valued employee sees no other way to get ahead than to quit… or worse, they stay and feel resentful and not appreciated.

Thank you for reading this article, please be well. Happy communicating and happy leading.

Bruce

An other article you might like.

Read How to Prepare for a Job Interview Level 1

About Bruce and Bruce Mayhew Consulting.

Bruce is Corporate Trainer, Keynote Speaker and Executive Coach.

Bruce Mayhew Consulting specializes in customized Email Etiquette Training, Leadership & New Leadership Development, Generational Differences, Time Management Training and other soft skills training solutions in Toronto and across Canada. Bruce is also an Executive Coach to a few select clients.

Bruce is an experienced motivational speaker in Toronto and has inspired audiences across Canada and within the USA and the UK. Bruce works hard to always make sure your training event, conference, retreat, or annual general meeting is a success.

Almost No One Is Born A Great Leader

Almost no one is born a great leader, but I am confident anyone can become one.

Even those few internationally recognized leaders like Alan Roger Mulally* who learned leadership qualities and values from his parents and other role models while growing up have had to work hard to become great leaders. Mr. Mulally freely shares how he studied, read, talked with, listened to, surrounded himself with other strong leaders, practiced, failed and learned from his mistakes on his journey.

If you are reading this article you are interested in being a great leader. In fact you may already be a good leader and want to continue your own journey to become a great leader and help the leaders who report into you. On your journey I’m sure you have already read or listened to great speakers about how you can improve your skills. Maybe you have even read some of my other articles or heard me speak at a conference.

As with everything I know of there is a positive and a negative; a good and bad; a pro and a con. So, for this article I want to do something different than my usual approach to discuss what great leaders should do. In this article I want to discuss challenges… or more specifically, three challenges that often destroy careers for people who want to be, could be and even should be great leaders.

What Makes A Flawed Leader?

1.    May be promoted before they are ready.

Far too often people are hired or promoted because they have excelled at a specific task or a specific technical skill. Top performers are often rewarded with a promotion and more responsibility. The challenge is that while it is great they are a top performer, that doesn’t prepare anyone to lead others. If you have a top performer I encourage you to offer them leadership training before you promote them.

Being a great leader means you will have to be a coach and mentor who creates a vision and inspires others to be their best as a team. You have to listen to others, make compromises, build trust and nurture loyalty in others. But being a top performer doesn’t mean you have learned those skills. In fact, many top performers are very self-motivated with a high degree of technical knowledge and skills. But, becoming a leader usually means stop doing some or all of their skills that got them their promotion. 

When people are hired or promoted into leadership roles primarily because they have specific technical skill instead of their specific leadership skill, we will not only have individuals that don’t reach their potential. When great employees are promoted without learning the leadership skills they need we also have teams and whole companies that don’t reach their potential. Those leaders with only great technical skill often become bottle-necks of information because they feel they have to ‘do’ the ‘doing’ like they did before they became official leaders instead of inspiring and coaching others.

This doesn’t mean they don’t have great leadership skills… in most cases they do. They just have never had to use, build and rely on them much in the past when they were a team member versus a team leader. That is why its important to offer high-potential people leadership training before you promote them. In fact, I would suggest everyone receive some leadership training.

2.    Don’t build trust

There are many ways to build or destroy trust.  Whether you are a leader or a co-worker, the catalyst for trust are the same. And while trusting others and being trustworthy is important for everyone, the need to build trust is absolutely critical for great leaders.

Building trust is a two-way street. Great leaders have to be trustworthy; their team members have to learn that they can trust them. Great leaders also have to learn to trust the people within their team. This is where being a great coach and mentor come in handy because highly motivated people may not have had to trust others much in the past, but now they are leaders building trust and being trustworthy are key indicators of success.

When employees don’t trust their leader they move into protection mode. This makes perfect sense and we can not blame employees when they do this. When people go into protection mode their performance, creativity and loyalty usually decline for a whole list of reasons.

Here are some of the key attributes of people who don’t build trust:

• They don’t give credit to others. One of the worst things a leader can do is to not encourage their team members when they have done a good job. However, trust destroying behaviour is eclipsed if they take credit for someone else’s work. 

• They don’t take responsibility when they made a mistake. If a leader doesn’t take responsibly for a mistake, or worse yet covers it up or blames others, team members will not feel they can come forward when they make a mistake… and we all make mistakes from time to time.

• Don’t share information. There are many reasons for this, for example they often believe knowledge is power and may want to keep themselves as a critical, important resource.

• It is always their way or no way. When their ideas or approach is always the only way forward it is demoralizing, making others feel irrelevant and incompetent. This is even worse if they always re-do everyone’s work. 

• Professional development is a luxury never or rarely offered and/or not taken seriously, especially is not in-line with the way they want to work.

Trust is built when we listen to each other with the intent of understanding each other. When we listen to each other we are demonstrating respect. Two of the greatest rewards we all have is a desire to be seen as competent in the work we do and that our work is relevant. We all want to feel we make a difference and are respected for our contribution and poor leaders often are not good at helping others feel their work is important and they are making a difference.

Leaders have to help others be as successful as they were earlier in their career. This is a more difficult’switch’ than it sounds and every leader I know has had to get help to unlearn some trust behaviour and learn new trust behaviour

3.    Are a bottleneck for important decisions or information

A poor leader is a bottleneck who slows down any and all decision-making process.

In today’s fast paced, highly technical world it is near impossible for a leader to be able to know everything about everything and to do everything about one thing. If this is the case, it is likely that by being a bottleneck they are slowing down decisions and putting themselves, their team and the company at risk of falling behind. Here are some of the key attributes of people who are a bottleneck for important decisions or information:

• Don’t empower or teach autonomy within their team. Another of the greatest rewards that resonate with all of us is having some control of what we work on and when. 

• Try to decrease risk of making a bad decision by establishing an ever-expanding list of rules and procedures. Besides being in full control, this is one of the most efficient ways to hinder and disable a team.

• Waste time and miss opportunities. Every person, every department and every organization has limited time and resources. If a leader tries to impact all decisions, they rarely succeed in any of them.

• Increase overall risk of success because of their slow-action and non-action, and therefore missing opportunities

• Because individuals become demotivated, they leave. One of the signs of a dysfunctional leader is high-turnover because people around them quit

• They, their team or their company fall behind in a fast-paced culture / market

Decision makers see decisions as a path that can be fine-tuned along the way as information, opportunity and needs change.

They may feel knowledge is their reward for hard work - but really knowledge is a tool and if we keep it from our talented team we are handicapping them and hurting the success of the project - and therefore hurting our own success.

Conclusion / Solution

Leadership today is much different than it was 10 years ago when Millennials were young, 25 years ago when Gen Xers were young and especially 40 years ago when Boomers were young. Leadership is complex and great leaders are aware of the behaviours that can derail their success and the success of the people and company who depend on them.

Today’s leaders need qualities and skills that unify every team and inspire every individual. Because almost no one is born a great leader, great leaders today are proactive not only with the vision and values of their company and team, they are proactive in their own success and the success of their team members.

A few years ago I was giving a presentation discussing Leadership and Generational Differences. A young 30-something Millennial asked “What can I do to learn how to be a great leader?” My conclusion to this article is the same advice I gave her. If you are looking to be / become a great leader I recommend you read as many books on leadership and related topics like Difficult Conversations and Change Management as possible. There is no one book that has it all. I also recommend you find other sources and add them to your education list. Sources like Ted Talks, going to conferences, speaking with other leaders you know, asking to take leaders you don’t know out for a coffee, reading magazines and so on.

Great leadership is a life-long journey. The world is changing around us and change is getting faster and faster. How we need to lead is also changing. Just like how leadership is different now than it was 20 years ago, leadership is going to be different again in 10 years from now.

Thanks for reading.

BONUS: 3 More Bad Practices.

Flawed leaders:

1. Don’t allow people to bring their uniqueness / individuates to work.

2. They are not interested in getting to know what motivates and inspires each of their team.

3. Don’t give people an opportunity to broaden their experience by working on new projects and / or with different people.

Be well. Happy communicating and happy leading.I hope this article will help you be a great leader. 

Bruce

Reference Foot Notes:
* Alan Roger Mulally is an American aerospace engineer and manufacturing executive. He is the former President and Chief Executive Officer of the Ford Motor Company and before that was the executive vice president of Boeing and the CEO of Boeing Commercial Airplanes (BCA).

An other article you might like.

Read How to Prepare for a Job Interview Level 1

About Bruce and Bruce Mayhew Consulting.

Bruce is Corporate Trainer, Keynote Speaker and Executive Coach.

Bruce Mayhew Consulting specializes in customized Email Etiquette Training, Leadership & New Leadership Development, Generational Differences, Time Management Training and other soft skills training solutions in Toronto and across Canada. Bruce is also an Executive Coach to a few select clients.

Bruce is an experienced motivational speaker in Toronto and has inspired audiences across Canada and within the USA and the UK. Bruce works hard to always make sure your training event, conference, retreat, or annual general meeting is a success.

You Are Asked To Meet Unreasonable Timelines. What To Do.

I just had a quick “Can I bounce a situation off of you” request from one of my coaching clients. This is an agreement my clients and I have. They know that if I can I will drop everything for them for quick chats like this. 

The Situation

It’s Friday morning and like many people one of the first things you do is check your work email. Yes, you know in the name of healthy work-life-balance and your blood pressure you should not.

One of the many overnight email you received (yes, you also check your email before bed… another bad habit), is from a peer in another division. They sent you a 30-page report that you didn’t know was coming and asked you to provide comments by 11:00AM this morning. Like many people, you have a full day of back-to-back meetings with your team, your boss (whose time is even more compressed than yours) and many other people who are counting on you.

What Should You Do?

Let’s be clear, they are not being fair to you and they are seriously compromising / hurting their own personal and professional reputation. Also, if you surprise one or more of your team and ask them to review the report by 11AM you risk being labelled as unreasonable as well… and that is a hit to your reputation.

At best, they should have let you know the report was coming. If you knew it was coming you could have set aside some time and planned for the review. This may be a review from you or you may have been able to prepare a few members from your team to each take a section to provide a quick but thorough review so you could meet their quick turn-around window.

As an Executive Coach and Leadership Trainer I would say there is no single perfect response, so let’s explore a few different responses. Then, if you ever find yourself in this spot you might use one or you might use a combination of two of them to best complement your situation.

Before we get going I want to highlight the word ‘response’ that I just used. Respond is good – do not react. Respond means you have thought through your options before you acted. React means you had an impulse and went with the first thing you thought of. Either way (respond versus react) your reputation will forever be impacted by what you do. Personally, I like to be accountable to my responses.

A Few Different Response Options:

1. If this is outside their typical pattern / emergency report and they need your help, I recommend doing anything you can for them. There are always emergencies when all hands need to be on deck.

2. If this is typical for them, if you tell them you / your team have only 30-minutes to spare to do a high-level review, be careful. They may intentionally or unintentionally give their leaders the impression that you / your team reviewed it and only had a little feedback. This may come back on you a week, month or year from now.

3. If this is typical for them, let them know you / your team have only 30-minutes to spare and ask them to highlight the section that they think is most important or time sensitive. I would also formally tell them how much time you need to do a comprehensive review and when you could do it. This way you are helping them now, clearly putting responsibility on their shoulders, and you are training them (hopefully) to give you more time next time.

4. If you can’t meet their timelines, tell them as soon as possible. As before, I would also formally tell them how much time you need to do a comprehensive review and when you could do it. Again, hopefully you are putting responsibility on their shoulders and training them to give you more time or more warning next time. Depending on the corporate culture and political atmosphere at your organization, you may want to give your leader a quick heads-up. But, be sure you sound rational and thoughtful not agitated and critical when you speak with your boss.

Let’s face it, as a leader you are always being watched and you are always impacting the morale, motivation and respect of your team… and from your team. You set the tone for your workspace and those around you. My advice is to always be aware of this and be mindful of the impact you are having.

I hope this article will help you manage a difficult request being made of you / your team in the future.

Bruce

An other article you might like.

Read How to Prepare for a Job Interview Level 1

About Bruce and Bruce Mayhew Consulting.

Bruce is Corporate Trainer, Keynote Speaker and Executive Coach.

Bruce Mayhew Consulting specializes in customized Email Etiquette Training, Leadership & New Leadership Development, Generational Differences, Time Management Training and other soft skills training solutions in Toronto and across Canada. Bruce is also an Executive Coach to a few select clients.

Bruce is an experienced motivational speaker in Toronto and has inspired audiences across Canada and within the USA and the UK. Bruce works hard to always make sure your training event, conference, retreat, or annual general meeting is a success.

Four Rules To Be An Effective Leader

Rule 1. 

Lead by sharing a strategic vision and by honoring shared values with every decision. Be consistent with your company vision and values. Be an example that inspires others and help others be consistent with your company vision and values. At some moment in time it may be important to break the rules and do something unexpected… daring… challenging. But if your decisions are always in-line with your overall vision and values, it will be OK.

Rule 2.

Have someone (or a team) who can push you. Find successful people you trust, work with them and listen to them. Also find successful people who will listen to you and who are not scared of disagreeing with you – who will challenge you and enter into open, creative, productive, respectful dialogue.

Rule 3.

Empower everyone around you. Give them the tools, resources and moral support to push their limits and grow. Help them be successful but don’t try to be them – be you. Everyone has special qualities to add. Together you are a force – apart you are alone.

Rule 4.

Read books and articles. Yes listing to others is important and watching YouTube videos has value. But we learn differently when we read and there are thousands of talented people who have written books and shared their great ideas. Take advantage of their experience.

Conclusion

There are many great things great leaders do. I encourage you to explore how you are doing with these four rules. Thank you for reading four rules to be an effective leader. Please share your own favourite leadership rule or rules in the comments.

Thank you.

Bruce

About Bruce and Bruce Mayhew Consulting.

Bruce is Corporate Trainer, Keynote Speaker and Executive Coach.

Bruce Mayhew Consulting specializes in customized Email Etiquette Training, Leadership & New Leadership Development, Generational Differences, Time Management Training and other soft skills training solutions in Toronto and across Canada. Bruce is also an Executive Coach to a few select clients.

Bruce is an experienced motivational speaker in Toronto and has inspired audiences across Canada and within the USA and the UK. Bruce works hard to always make sure your training event, conference, retreat, or annual general meeting is a success.

5 Email Writing Guidelines To Always Follow

You likely get over a hundred email every day. I know many days I do.

There are two general types of email most of us receive. The most common is known as ‘Daily Business Email’. The other is what is often called ‘Promotional Email’. 

I don’t have to explain what daily business email are, but let’s take a moment to be clear on what promotional email are. Promotional email is usually not junk mail. They are often sent from a business to a customer or prospect. Promotional email also usually fall into one of two categories:

1. Traditional Marketing Email: Loosely defined as a commercial message often meant to start or build a business-to-consumer relationship. They might be notifying us of the latest newsletter, or they may use our past history to send us notices of new inventory, items on special, upgrade opportunities or other items we may be interested in purchasing. These are the email that can start feeling intrusive.

2. Transactional Email: Loosely defined as a personalized, one-to-one message based on existing relationships. Transactional email is sometimes called ‘Triggered Email’ because they often are in response to an action a customer or prospect has taken. For example, the online order I placed yesterday has triggered two transactional email so far, one to confirm my order was received and another to say it has been shipped. Another example is when we are sent a notice to confirm we have changed / reset our password.

Why do I bother sharing this history with you? Because no matter if you write email to ‘do’ your job, or if your job is to write Marketing or Transactional email, we should all be following the same email writing guidelines. Great email etiquette is constant no matter what the purpose or who the email recipient is. How could that be? Because our goal is always the same; that we maximize the chance our intended reader(s) will open, read, understand our email and then act in accordance with our call-to-action. 

5 Email Writing Guidelines To Always Follow To Write Better Email

As I said above, use the following five email writing guidelines whether you write ‘Daily Business Email’  or Promotional Email:

1. Use 5-7 words for your Subject Lines. Email subject lines should be short enough to be concise but long enough to tell our reader exactly why they're getting the email… and more than that, they should make a recipient want to open and read the email. The 5-7 rule is a good guideline.

2. Address your reader by name if you can. Your message will be seen as more relevant and inviting when they are personalized. How formal or informal depends on your relationship and what is expected within your corporate culture and/or brand. Always aim to make your reader feel they are valued and respected.

3. Incorporate a Call To Action (CTA) in the first sentence or two but don’t sound demanding, pushy or bossy. Repeat a version of the call to action at the end.

4. Achieve your goal by addressing the needs and/or wishes of the recipient / your customer. Sounds like a no-brainer, but it doesn’t always happen, especially with daily business email.Instead we often write messages as if they are writing to ourselves, therefore, the copy sounds self-serving.

5. Use whitespace to keep the message easy to read and easy to understand. This is one of the easiest guidelines to use but often the least used.

Email is one of the easiest ways for us to connect. And yes, there is more you could be doing. The email training workshops I’ve been teaching takes a whole half-day. But, I’m confident that if you follow these five key guidelines you will doing some of the best things to get your email opened, read, understood and answered. You will also save yourself and your readers lots of time as you build a trustworthy reputation.

NOTE for anyone sending ‘Promotional Email’: There is an option to insert special preview copy for ‘Traditional Marketing Email’ and ‘Transactional Email’ that I encourage you to use; it will help your reader prioritize your email. If you don’t use the special preview copy all is not lost, traditional marketing email and transactional email will fall back on the same rules daily business email follow and that is to show readers the first few lines of copy in your email.

BONUS: BOTTOM LINE EXAMPLE:

Either way, make sure your first sentence or your Special Preview Copy grabs your readers attention and lets your potential reader know why theyshould invest time out of their busy day to open and read your message. Here is the thing, even with Marketing email we often write as if we are writing to ourselves and address our needs… not their needs and their curiosity. This is important even if they already have a relationship with you. This is your chance to stand out and separate yourself from all the ‘noise’ they receive in their email inbox.

Whether it is in your recipients preview screen or if you are lucky enough that they have opened your email, assume the first two sentences of your email are what has to grab your readers attention. Imagine seeing an email that says.

Option 1 (not great)

Option 2 (much better at managing the readers objectives)

 If you have a chance, add a comment and share:

• 1 thing you like about email

• 1 thing you don’t like about email

Thanks,

Bruce

About Bruce and Bruce Mayhew Consulting.

Bruce is Corporate Trainer, Keynote Speaker and Executive Coach.

Bruce Mayhew Consulting specializes in customized Email Etiquette Training, Leadership & New Leadership Development, Generational Differences, Time Management Training and other soft skills training solutions in Toronto and across Canada. Bruce is also an Executive Coach to a few select clients.

Bruce is an experienced motivational speaker in Toronto and has inspired audiences across Canada and within the USA and the UK. Bruce works hard to always make sure your training event, conference, retreat, or annual general meeting is a success.

How to Prepare for a Job Interview: Level 1

Tips to help make your job interview successful.

You need to prepare for a job interview; in fact, this may be your first job interview. Although the tips I’m sharing in this article are meant for someone relatively new to the job search and interview process, the tips can help anyone prepare, feel confident and make the best impression possible. 

You Have Something Valuable to Offer

If you are just entering the workforce, it’s understandable you have limited formal work experience. That’s OK and to be expected. Don’t worry, you still have important abilities and experience to offer and talk about during your interview. 

Other than actual work experience, lets explore examples of things you can share to demonstrate what kind of person you are and your interests.

1. Remember the paper route you had or how you spent a summer cutting lawns or babysitting?

2. Did you volunteer at a school event or track meet or organize a food drive with friends over the holidays?

3. Were you a lifeguard?

4. Have you been part of a sports team or club that had to work together?

5. Did you try out to be in a play at school or at summer camp?

Don't underestimate your work experience, including your volunteer activities. There is a long list of things you may have done or helped someone else with. What did any of those activities teach you about you? What did it teach you about your strengths or even about what you don’t like doing (just as important)? What did you learn about working with others? Write down what positive and not so positive experiences you had, and then, think about what you might want to share with a potential future employer to show them how amazing you are. 

Additional Things to Prepare

To show your interview panel you have something valuable to offer, do a bit of work in advance. Things you should prepare and be ready to talk about are:

1. What are your values? What makes you – you?

   1. Go through a Values Exercise and see what 4 or 5 values feel like you. Why do these values represent you?

2. What are your interests? What excites you?

   1. What is your Vision Statement? Where do you see yourself in 6-months and 2-years?

   2. What is your Mission Statement? What do you want to do now to get you to where you want to be as you described in your Vision Statement?

3. Why you want to work for / with this company / department / person?

4. Are you responsible / dependable? If you are, prepare 2 examples that prove it. Write them down.

5. Are you a hard worker? If you are, prepare 2 examples that prove it. Write them down.

6. Are you trustworthy? If you are, prepare 2 examples that prove it. Write them down.

7. Is there something else you want to share with them about you? If you are, prepare 2 examples that prove it. Write them down.

Research The Company and The Job In Advance

This is an important step to determine if you really want to work at this company and therefore invest more time in the process.

If you do decide the company and the work is interesting, then this research will help you prepare your cover letter / executive summary as well as prepare for the interview.

Research also has another benefit. You may be a little nervous before, during and even after the job interview; that’s natural. Knowing the details of the prospective company, especially as it pertains to the job you’re interviewing for, is a great way to prepare and calm those nerves.

Here is a list of things to consider learning about the company and the work:

1. How long have they been in business?

2. Are you familiar with their website?

3. Key business (es)

4. Key markets

5. Key products / brands

6. Key growth areas

7. Number of employees

8. Number of offices / locations

9. Core Values (if they have posted them – if not read their about us)

10. Company Vision Statement / Mission Statement

11. Do they have a tagline? What do they mean by it?

12. Does it host events?

13. Community Service / Corporate Citizen?

14. Who are their competitors?

Here is a list of things to consider learning about the job / position:

1. What interests you most about the position / job?

2. What skills do you have that meet the requirements?

3. What skills will you need to learn to meet the requirements?

4. How is this job similar and different at other companies? Note: At this point this information is important for your overall knowledge but not usually something you would mention in your cover letter or during the interview.

5. What are key words and acronyms for the position and the company? You will want to use these in your resume and during your job interview.

Ask your network what they know about the organization and if they know any current or past employees you can talk to before your interview. If you are able to speak to someone who does or has worked there, ask them what it’s like to work at the company.

Thank you for reading about how to prepare for a job interview, level 1. I will enjoy your comments / suggestions of this article.

Bruce

Read How to Prepare for a Job Interview Level 2

Read How to Prepare for a Job Interview Level 3

About Bruce and Bruce Mayhew Consulting.

Bruce is Corporate Trainer, Keynote Speaker and Executive Coach.

Bruce Mayhew Consulting specializes in customized Email Etiquette Training, Leadership & New Leadership Development, Generational Differences, Time Management Training and other soft skills training solutions in Toronto and across Canada. Bruce is also an Executive Coach to a few select clients.

Bruce is an experienced motivational speaker in Toronto and has inspired audiences across Canada and within the USA and the UK. Bruce works hard to always make sure your training event, conference, retreat, or annual general meeting is a success.

How to Prepare for a Job Interview: Level 2

How to apply… and hopefully get a job interview

Make a great impression from the first time they hear from you. This means your resume and cover letter have to be impressive.

You may not have loads (or any) work experience. That is OK. You are not applying for the CEO’s job (yet). But you still have lots to offer and show them.

You still want to create a polished and well-written resume and cover letter. A one- or two-page resume will be fine. This means you have to pay attention to what resume and cover letter says and how well they read. Sentence structure, punctuation and spelling are important.

For both your resume and cover letter, use key words and acronyms for each job you are applying for and for each company and include them throughout your descriptions of your education and experience… but don’t force it; it has to sound natural and it has to be true. Key words are important to make your background real / relevant for anyone who reads your resume or cover letter. Key words and acronyms will also be important for you to be recognized when the employer or a recruiter they use an Applicant Tracking System (ATS), to screen and prioritize applicants.

Here is how to create a polished and well-written resume.

• Include in your resume:

1. Informal work

2. Volunteer experience

3. What leadership opportunities have you been exposed to in clubs or on teams?

4. What are your academic achievements?

5. Be sure to reference your technical skills on the first page.

6. If you have work experience, name the company. Also, be sure to specify what that company did.

7. What are your hobbies or particular relevant experiences that may make an impression?

8. Who are your mentors… and have you ever mentored someone else?

9. What are your values?

10. What are your goals / vision?

11. Do not include anything you cannot easily prove or talk about.

12. Do not include your photo, age, Social Insurance Number (SIN) or Social Security Number (SSN)

• Include a one-page cover letter. If it goes beyond four short paragraphs, it is likely too long:

1. Why you are interested

2. What you offer (not a resume summary)

3. Mention you look forward to the opportunity

Three last notes about your resume and cover letter:

1. Use a font and font size people can easily read

2. If you are emailing the potential employer (versus using an online submission system), send it from a meaningful and professional email address. JJGParty02@yahoo.ca is not a good email to use, however JeffryJGraham02@gmail.com is. Create on if you don’t already have one.

3. When you are done, put everything away for a day if you can. Then, when you are rested and can focus, proofread everything. Take your time and pay attention to everything. You do not want to send anything that has a typo or worse, talks about a different job or company you applied to.

   • Double check the spelling of the name of person you are sending it to. I cannot tell you how many times I receive correspondence with a typo in my name. Not Good!

   • Double check the spelling of the name of the company.

 When You Have An Interview

Prepare Yourself for an In-Person Interview

Expect to be nervous. It’s OK. And any reasonable interviewer will expect you to be somewhat nervous and should try to ease your anxiety. Here are some tips on how to prepare for your interview:

• Dress appropriately. Often a bit more conservative than expected is fine. I recommend do not wear anything with a logo… especially a competitor’s logo.

• Even if the job and/or the interview will be casual, iron your cloths, shine / clean your shoes and be clean from top to bottom. I remember being on a panel once and the candidate had dirty fingernails. It was disgusting and distracting.

• If you may perspire a lot, dress in layers and choose dark colours that will not show.

• Have a clean recycle water bottle with you that is easy to open and drink from. The sport bottle you use at the gym is likely not the best choice. Use water, not a carbonated drink that may make you burp.

• Do you have a nervous bad habit? Perhaps you use one word over and over? Perhaps you bounce a leg? Maybe you are a pen twirler or clicker. If you are unsure, ask someone who knows you. If they tell you, believe them… and watch for it during your interview.

• Be sure you are early. If travelling, give yourself a buffer. I recommend planning on being there at least 30-minutes in advance:

  • Arriving on time is your responsibility – nobody else’s.

• Bring a pen and paper so you can take notes. Make a note of each person on the interview panel. I suggest you write their names in the same order (clockwise) as they are sitting. 

Prepare Yourself for a Live Video Interview

It’s important to put as much preparation into a video interview as if you were interviewing in person. Here are twelve things you should prepare or prepare for in advance.

1. Test your connections and signal strength with a friend or family member in advance.

2. Days in advance ask what video software they use. Will you have to download it? If so, do it in advance.Zoom, Teams, GoToMeeting, Skype, and Google Hangouts are some of the most common.

3. Consider updating your software the day earlier. Reboot your device and test.

4. On the day, close off everything else if you can. Reboot your device.

5. Check your audio and video work.

6. Know how to use the interview software. 

7. Have your camera at eye level. Seriously! Nobody needs to stare at your chin or your ceiling.

8. Check your lighting – make sure you are in a well-lite room. Your face needs to be seen and should not have a big shadow on one side. If it does it means your lighting is not great and you should fix this.

9. Check your background. It should be professional and uncluttered. Remove items that may distract the interviewers. Use a blank wall or pin up a curtain or sheet if you have to.

10. Remove things that will distract you or them as best you can (people, pets), or find sitters who can watch them.

11. Be fully dressed – even if you think they will only see your top part. Accidents happen, and this is not a time to be caught with no pants on. Besides, being fully dressed will make you feel more prepared and take a worry off your mind.

12. Arrive early – just like you would in-person. This lets you check your connection again and potentially fix any issues that may come up. This also shows you think ahead and plan for the unexpected.

Prove To The Interview Panel You Take This Seriously And Are Motivated

The people interviewing you will determine in seconds if you take this seriously and want to be considered… or not. If you make them believe you are just going through the motions (for whatever reason), don’t expect a call-back. So, to demonstrate you are serious and motivated:

1. Don’t be late. Have I said this enough yet?

2. First impressions matter. I recommend planning on being there at least 30-minutes in advance. If you think there is the slightest chance of being bad traffic plan for 1-hour. If you are late you will never be able to regain that first impression.

3. If you arrive 30-minutes early like I recommend, don’t go into the office / reception area before 15-minutes.

4. The interview panel should have copies of your resume, but prepare for them just in case. Show you are a planner and are organized by bringing three copies of your resume for potential interviewers and one copy of the job posting for yourself. Don’t do this if you know they are a paperless organization. Consider putting the job posting on a tablet.

Be Aware of Your Body Language

Body language can say a lot whether you mean to or not. To keep from unintentionally sending unhelpful messages, here are a few tips that generally give others a good impression:

1. Sit up straight with good posture.

2. Don’t lean back or on the arm of a chair.

3. Place both feet on the ground to help avoid slouching.

4. Don’t get distracted looking out a window.

5. When someone is asking a question, look at them.

6. When answering, look at different people, but don’t look like you are on constant scan mode.

7. If on a video interview call, don’t get distracted looking at yourself (it happens).

What Questions Do You Have For Them?

Asking questions shows you are interested, and you will do research on your own – take initiative. Show your interest:

• Prepare three company related questions… but ask only one.

• Prepare three job related questions… but ask only one.

Just do not ask questions whose answers you could have found on their website. Instead, ask specific questions. Perhaps expand on an article in the newspaper about their work or their community involvement / corporate giving.  

After Your Interview 

You are not done after your interview. Here are a few suggestions to keep on making a good impression by following up in a professional and thoughtful way:

•  At the end of the interview thank the interviewer and each person on the interview panel.

• Phone your main contact and thank them in a day or two or (not and), send a thank you email to your main contact and Cc each person on the interview panel. If you don’t have everyone’s email, send it to your main contact only.

• Recap how interested you are.

• Add an additional personal note – perhaps about one of the questions they asked… or the answer they gave to one of your questions.

Thank you for reading about how to prepare for a job interview, level 2. I will enjoy your comments / suggestions of this article.

Bruce

Read How to Prepare for a Job Interview Level 1

Read How to Prepare for a Job Interview Level 3

About Bruce and Bruce Mayhew Consulting.

Bruce is Corporate Trainer, Keynote Speaker and Executive Coach.

Bruce Mayhew Consulting specializes in customized Email Etiquette Training, Leadership & New Leadership Development, Generational Differences, Time Management Training and other soft skills training solutions in Toronto and across Canada. Bruce is also an Executive Coach to a few select clients.

Bruce is an experienced motivational speaker in Toronto and has inspired audiences across Canada and within the USA and the UK. Bruce works hard to always make sure your training event, conference, retreat, or annual general meeting is a success.